


Deaf Severus Snape

by geekling007, Mackjijki177



Series: Deaf Severus Snape [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bottom Sirius Black, Chronic Illness, Deaf Character, Deaf Severus Snape, Disability, Dominance kink, Good Severus Snape, Hate Speech, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Marauders are dicks, Multi, Obsessive Behavior, Questioning Sexuality, Temporary Amnesia, Top James Potter, Top Remus Lupin, depressed teenagers, more tags to be added soon due to spoiler alter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 70,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25835353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekling007/pseuds/geekling007, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mackjijki177/pseuds/Mackjijki177
Summary: It’s the 6th year for the Marauder, they return to what they think will be another good year. But they ended up being wrong, this year was filled with grief, realization, loss, and most of all new relationships forming.Let’s just say it’s started with a certain Slytherin who became deaf due to a car accident changing his whole life.
Relationships: Evan Rosier/Avery, James Potter/Lily Evans, James Potter/Severus Snape, Marauders/Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Series: Deaf Severus Snape [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020510
Comments: 349
Kudos: 804





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this is the edited version of the story and it was done by geekling007. 
> 
> They offered to help me and it was wonderful that they did. So from now on the story will be done a lot better due to they’re help. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it!

The four marauders were just meeting up on the train after an awesome summer break for each of them. They all had good news to share with their friends except for Peter. James decided to go first.

“Oh this is going to be a great year alright, I’ve got my best friend living with me. Evans is free range now that slimy git Snivellus is no longer around her and she hates him, and on top of that I have a chance at being the Quidditch captain!," James bragged to his friends. 

“Yes, yes Prongs we know, it’s all you’ve been talking about to us through your letters and every time we met up," Remus sighed, chuckling along with the others. 

“Ya know I wonder what Snivellus is up to. Should we go find out or should we wait to hex him at the opening feast?," Padfoot asked.

“I say we wait and plan ahead of time,” James said smirking while Remus just shook his head. 

“We're in our sixth year, why don’t we just leave Snape alone...” he said dejectedly, already knowing the others wouldn't agree. Overall Remus didn’t hate Snape, he felt extremely bad for him. He might not have ever done anything about his friends' bullying, but he never wanted to see the boy hurt. So once in a while like this he would try to make it known he didn’t by saying little things trying to get the point across.

Peter was quick to say why they shouldn’t. “It’s Snape, we already know he probably going to try and hex James when he gets the chance, why don’t we just beat him to it?” Peter asked. 

James and Sirius nodded while Remus sighed once again in defeat. “Fine whatever” the werewolf said. 

The four boys got back into their conversation of recounting great stories of what had happened over the summer to each of them. Wormtail spoke about how his family took him to a muggle amusement park and all the rides they went on. Moony talked about a very interesting book he had been reading to which Sirius gave a fake yawn to.

Prongs on the other hand talked about how his parents took him and Padfoot to Italy for a month to the amusement of his friends. 

The rest train ride went incredibly well between the four of them.... 

———————————

Meanwhile somewhere in St. Mungos on the 4th floor Severus Snape was laying in bed slowly waking up from a coma. He blinked his eyes to a bright room. He oddly couldn’t hear any thing but a shallow ringing in his ears. He shut his eyes tightly at the brightness, and slowly after a minute or so he opened his eyes to look around the room. He noticed a woman sitting the in the chair next to the bed he was laying in. Squinting his eyes he made out the blurred face of Minerva McGonagall.

He was able to make out her feature due to her almost gray black hair. It was covered by her normal green hat she seemed to like to wear a lot. His eyes moved down to her face instead of focusing on her hair. He noticed her sharp features and her familiar brown eyes that where either soft or threatening depending on her mood. For once they where soft when he looked into them.

His vision had gone back to normal after a few blinks. The woman sat up in her chair noticing he was awake and started to speak. He oddly couldn’t hear her though. 

“P-professor I can’t hear you” Severus tried to say but he couldn’t even hear his voice come out. He could only feel the humming of his throat and the movement of his mouth. She frowned at him and he looked back in confusion.

Minerva tried again this time writing it down for him. Summoning a quill and peace of parchment, she quickly wrote down what she want to say to him. 

Severus was very confused as to why his hearing hadn’t just taken a moment for it to come back like his eyesight had just a moment ago. He reached up and touched his ears feeling that they where completely intact and normal so weren't they working? 

He looked back to the professor who had finished writing down what she was trying to say to him. She handed him the parchment and he read what it said. 

"I’m very sorry to inform you Mr. Snape but you where in an accident with your father after you where picked up from the train station. You have been in a coma the entire summer and very lucky to have just have woken up on the first day of school. The accident had broken most of your ribs, your right leg, and a few bones in your hand. They all have healed by now, but I was informed by your healer that your head was injured very badly and a nerve cord in your spine that connect to your ears was damaged as well

They said you a chance of healing in your coma just as your bones had, but if you did, that you would most likely no longer be able to hear. That is why I am here. Your father unfortunately, didn’t make it away from the accident and with the fact that your mother had already passed away it means you didn’t have anyone to watch over you. 

Albus had me come and check up on you to see if you had woken, and once you had to check out of the hospital. You will come with me and be taken into my care. I am sorry about the loss of your father and your hearing. It must be the most horrible thing to have to face for one who has already having lost so much.” Severus stared at it in shock. 

He.. he was deaf... he couldn’t hear...He was vulnerable now... Merlin knows what people would do to take advantage of him with out his hearing... and his father.. The man who had hurt him so many times... the man who tormented him was dead? How... when?! How could he have gone into a coma?! If they took his hearing why didn’t they just kill him!!! 

Every thing was too much to process and he continued to stare at the page. Tears formed in his eyes and made his vision blurry. Severus didn’t want to let them fall but they just did any way. He crunched up the paper, throwing it across the room. 

He brought his sleeves up to his eyes to wipe the tears away, furiously ignoring the women next to him who was trying her best to help him calm down. Of course he just pushed her away and she gave up soon after and decided to write something else down on another piece of parchment paper.

Severus brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his hands around them burying his face into his knees. Why couldn’t he get a break?! How was he supposed to deal with this of all things?! He was bloody deaf!! It wasn't not fair!! Nothing good ever happened to him!! It wasn't good enough to have Lily and his sweet mother taken from him!! Now his Father and his god damn hearing too!!!! 

He must have been wailing and crying loudly because some nurses and a healer came in, holding him down to force a calming potion down his throat no matter how much he struggle against it. His Professor handed him another piece of parchment after the struggle for him to read. 

He didn’t want to though and put it the side. McGonagall sighed and sat down back in her chair until Severus’ potion started to kick in. 

Slowly his tears stopped and he felt a wave of calm fall over him. He didn’t feel anger or sadness just calm... stupid potion he couldn’t even get his emotions out now... After a few more minutes of silence in the room, Severus regretted his actions and picked up the paper again. 

It read in the nice hand writing he was used to as always. 

“Mr. Snape, we have set up every thing we can for you at Hogwarts. We have a special book for you for all your classes, anything your teachers says will appear in it. Along with anyone who’s talking you so that it would be easy for you to communicate with others. We have also set up a weekly appointment with Madame Pomfrey for checkups to see if you get any better. 

The staff will also supplying you with your textbooks, robes, and a brand new wand for this year your father has passed and most of your things where destroyed in the accident due to fire and other things. I have also spoken with a few very trusted students to help you around school during classes and with anything else you might need help with. 

Tomorrow I will be taking you to Hogwarts and you’ll have every thing situated.” 

Severus nodded and McGonagall stood up ready to take her leave. The women apparated minute later. 

————————————

About an hour had passed since Severus had woken up and with the permission of his Healer he decided to take a shower. He wasn’t comfortable with the idea of the Healer helping him so he let them know and they made an accepting for him this once.

He got up and walked slowly to the bathroom shutting the door behind him. Severus walked over to the mirror to see how much he had changed.

Looking into the mirror, he noticed how different he looked Over all he was taller by a bit but still really short compared to others. His hair had gotten longer, very different from the style he was used to. His long black hair now reached just past his shoulders and running his hands through it and noticed it was very soft. It made him cringe. He wasn’t used to it.. it made him feel off. Or well more off.. 

Severus lifted up his hair and noticed a very ugly scar across his ear. He winced at the look at it and frowned deeply. Checking his other ear he saw that there was a matching one on that side as well... he decided it would be best to hide it with his hair so no one could see it including himself.

He walked over to the shower turning it on and unbuttoned his hospital robes slipping off his top. He looked back into the mirror again. 

There was a large amount of new scars that where very thin and sharp at the ends but thick in the middle. The scars were near his ribs from what seemed to be due to the surgery that was done to him judging from the precision of the stitches. He decided to look at his legs next and just as he thought, there was nothing there... He sighed and decided to just shower and mope about it later. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus arrives at school to a bit of a disaster.

The marauders arrived at hogwarts the night before to find that the slimy git was nowhere to be found. They just brushed it off as him hiding even if it was a odd thing to do. Sirius did complain though, he didn’t get the first hex of the year on the slytherin they all seemed to hate. Prongs pushed it off of course, saying they would get to do it tomorrow and Padfoot listened. They all ended up enjoying the opening feast without having to deal with Snape. 

Moony had been questioning the whole thing though, he knew for a fact that Snape would never hide from them unless he was studying. He felt something was very off with him not being there with his normal group of death eaters... who oddly enough had all been there... so that meant they didn’t have one of their dark cult meetings...so that ruled out that idea in full... but Remus decided to put the thoughts aside and if Snape didn’t show up in a week he would ask about him to see if he was ok. 

He wasn’t heartless like his friends when it came to the slytherin... that’s was an excuse enough for him to see what happened. He just started to eat his chocolate though, after they had finished dinner. 

“Hey Evans, where's your stalker at?” Marlene asked out of the blue to Lily who was sitting nearby. “What do you mean stalker?” She asked confused at the word. All four of the marauders looked over at her. 

Marlene sighed and gestures towards the Slytherin table. “Do you mean Severus?” Lily asked wincing slightly when she said his name. 

“Yeah duh where is he? By now we should be complaining about his starring and all that.” Marlene said.

"So he’s really not here...” Lily said looking down at her food. “Evans what’s wrong it’s just Snape.” Sirius chimes into their conversation. Now Moony felt there was something really off from Lily’s facial expression to Marlene's questioning. 

“Well I heard he got in an accident.. and that his Dad died in it.. I don’t know any thing else as to what happened to him... my guess is that he’s maybe injured or grieving?” She said questioningly but also a tone of worry and sadness in her voice. 

Now that alarmed Remus. Something was definitely wrong and it made him want to go see if he could find Severus or ask around... “Oh shit lucky guy gets to skip school and be a baby about his dear old daddy passing away” James said making a sad face and Lily glared at him as a warning. He picked up on it and shut up. 

Moony went to sleep that night worried over Snape if he was ok or not. 

—————————————

Snape woke up in the morning and was forced to take another calming potion from his healer. His healer left him some new clothing to change into instead of the hospital robes. Professor Mcgonagall would be coming in the next hour to pick him up. Over all he wasn’t ready to leave the hospital. 

He didn’t want to go back to school yet...but Dumbledore had ordered for him to come back much to his distaste. He had been in a coma for three months... how does he not remember the accident happening... or even leaving the school for that year... something was wrong and he didn’t know what it was yet. 

He hoped his memory would come back at some point.. it was frustrating. What kind of adult makes a student who had just woken up from a coma come to school as soon as he wakes up?! Dumbledore didn’t have any custody over him and couldn’t force him to do any thing like that... but the Headmaster most certainly would try that was for sure. Severus was too tired to fight against it anyway and decided to go with it.

It was difficult not to jump at every movement in the room. He wasn’t used to only hearing ringing...while it was very limited, it still was annoying and made him frustrated. Even if he had taken the calming potion. 

He got up out of bed and went over to the table to pick up his clothing. He headed into the bathroom to get changed and ready. He unbuttoned his shirt slipping it over his very thin shoulders. He frowned at his reflection once again, grumbling to himself even though he couldn’t even hear his own voice. He only felt the familiar humming of his throat.

It made him feel insecure. There were too many emotions that were being caged in and he just wanted to be normal...but then life isn’t fair...it never was...if it were then he wouldn’t have to work for every little thing he had. Unlike bloody James Potter who had everything...and probably will continue to have every thing. 

He slipped on a simple long sleeve white shirt he was given and a pair of black trousers. Then he pulled a sweater over his head, pulling his longish hair out of the neck hole. 

Picking up a brush and brushing it through his static black hair. He styled it so it covered his face and ears especially. He then brushed his teeth, and by the time he was done walking out of the room Professor McGonagall was there in her very familiar teaching robes. She handed him a peace of paper like she had the other day. 

Severus read it over depressingly  “Mr Snape over the next two weeks you won’t have class but instead you will be getting used to your new state. You will also be able to get to know the people who will be helping you. 

I also have had your things already placed in your dorm room with your dorm mates. Once we reach the grounds I will give you your new wand and the special book I informed you of. We will be arriving there around just after breakfast and you will come with me to my first class. Then you’ll be taken by the chosen student back to your dorm, but that will only be temporary until you are used to it."

He looked up at her and nodded in understanding. She smiled and held out her arm for the apparition. Severus took her arm and in a snap they where on the edge of the grounds. She summoned a black wand and a black and green leather book. He looked at it before taking it from her, holding the book to his chest. The professor turned, gesturing for him to follow her. 

Much to his distaste he followed her. He didn’t see why he couldn’t just go to his room. Why did he have to meet this student now and sit in transfiguration class when he wasn’t even attending it himself. He followed her through the crowded halls to her familiar classroom. 

Severus felt like he wanted to hide under a rock. He felt shame, embarrassment, depression, and anger. Professor McGonagall walked in to her class and every one went quiet of course...she was kind of the strict but nice teacher to every one.

No one dared to disrespect her. He stopped at the door not wanting to come into the classroom. He couldn’t bring himself to step foot into it. Maybe he just wouldn’t have to after all...how nice would that be...but sadly McGonagall noticed this and sighed. She turned back around grabbing his arm pulling him into the classroom. 

He tried to stomp his feet on the ground to stop her from dragging him in like a small child would. But since his body was quite weak it didn’t work and McGonagall won this round. She guided him over to an empty seat pointing to it and he grumbled sitting down. He didn’t even bother to look up to see if anyone was staring or talking to him or about him. He felt McGonagall take the book he was holding close to his chest and open it placing it down in front of him with just have been a slam. 

He looked up and her and she had a tired but strict expression and pointed to the page. He looked back down at it and read what was on it.  “Mr. Snape wait here until class is over," Severus  looked back up at her and nodded. She gave a nod back and walked away from him. He stared down at the page as more words appeared. 

He read it.  “Holy shit seems as though Snevillus decided to finally show up." -James Potter 

"Mr Potter hold your tough and please be quiet!" \- Professor McGonagall 

Severus growled in frustration and slammed the book shut. He pushed the book away to the side putting his head down and stared into the wood of the desk clenching his fists over and over again. 

He let out a sigh and shut his eyes just wanting the class to be over. He wanted it all to be over. He didn’t care what it was that happened but he just wanted to be away from everyone...his potion must have been wearing off...he felt a lot more emotions but he mainly felt like he was done, and tired. 

He was stuck like this...how was he supposed to process that in two weeks? How would he cast a spell if he didn’t know how it was pronounced if he couldn’t hear it? What about listening to music or just being able to talk to other people? Was that stupid book supposed to help him or something?! 

It wasn’t fair! He kicked his feet against the desk repeatedly not caring if he was interrupting the class. It was their fault for making him show up even though they know how a human mind works!!! They should already know that he would be upset and angry and needed more time away from people before he could even think about reappearing and participating in anything! 

That’s the least they could do for him! It was leave him alone! He felt someone grab his upper arm and pull him back a bit. He looked up seeing it was McGonagall and he pulled his arm away from her. She sighed and reached out for that stupid book placing it in front of him pointing at it. He glared at it and picked it up and the threw it everyone's surprise. 

It was their fault that he was mad so he didn’t care. He got up rushing towards the door. They couldn’t keep him here so he wouldn’t stay here! He didn’t care if he was going to get in trouble or not he just wanted to be out of there. He wasn’t paying attention to peoples feet and got tripped by someone. He stumbled forward and his knees hit the stone ground painfully. 

He groaned out in pain probably hissing like a snake. He sat back on his knees only for a second looking at who had tripped him. And it just happened to be Potter who was laughing from the expression of his face and the way his chest was moving. He glanced at who was next to him and it was Lily. He felt his heart stop for a minute and his features turned into a deep glare... She might have been frowning but she was bloody sitting next to James Potter! The person who has tormented him for years!

She was also sitting next to the boy who constantly harassed her to date him... it made him fill with more anger then he was already feeling. He stood up and felt Professor McGonagall’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Stop trying to make me do what I don’t want to! I don’t want to use this stupid book! And I don’t need help from any one just leave me alone!!!” He shouted shrugging her hand off his shoulder. His words must have come out wrong because he noticed students behind him starting to laugh.He also felt that it was hard to say the letter T his mouth made it feel incredibly difficult to. His face tinted red in embarrassment. He watched McGonagall sigh once again and and she held out the book calmly to him. 

She was being patient with him and not getting mad at him. He sighed and snatched the book from her. McGonagall gestured for him to follow her out of the room to probably speak with him because threw the stupid book. He winced as he walked cause his knees hurt very badly. 

Once they had gotten outside she gestured to the book. He complied by opening it and reading what she was saying. “Mr. Snape, it is okay that you got mad today. It is completely understandable, it must be very frustrating and I am sorry I made you sit in class with your classmates. 

I will speak to Potter about his actions. I doubt you want anyone to know about your problem just yet so once your comfortable with it then we can announce it to the class and set up consequences for actions of mocking you.”  It read. He looked at it for another minute and looked up at her. He nodded at the idea. 

“That’s a good idea, I’m sorry for getting mad... and throwing the book” he said and McGonagall smiled calmly and spoke. 

He looked down at the book to see what she said.  “No worries, it’s understandable” it read. He sighed and nodded. “Do I have to go back in?” He asked gesturing towards the door to the classroom. She sighed and nodded calmly. 

He nodded as she gestured for him to come back inside. She walked in and he followed walking back to the seat he was originally placed in. He ignored the looks he got from the other students and sat down opening the book so he could know if any one spoke to him. 

He glanced at who he shared the desk with and sighed instantly noticing it was Remus Lupin one of his tormentors... he made a face and stared down and watched what McGonagall was doing. 

That didn’t last long cause Lupin tapped him on the shoulder. He glanced at him. 

“What?” He asked irritated at being bothered. He noticed Lupin was talking so he glanced down at his book to read what he was saying. 

“Snape why are you acting so weird, if you don’t mind me asking?,"  it said and he looked at Lupin with a glare. 

“Nothing to do with you,” he said probably messing up on his wording again. He watched Lupin make a face of confusion with what he said. He looked down at the book again noticing more words appearing. 

“It’s pronounced with... not wih” Severus read and he made a face irritated at it and turned to Lupin with a scowl. “Shut up...” he said clearly. He turned away from the werewolf going back to his previous action. He started to feel off when he heard his voice wasn’t sounding right. Did he hit his head during the accident and did it cause something to go wrong with his pronunciation. It really must have because of his problem not being able to make the full movement and a few other letters.

Lupin didn’t try to talk to him again throughout the rest of the class. 


	3. Chapter 3

Padfoot was sitting in transfiguration when McGonagall walked in. She seemed tired somehow for the day. Once she came in of course every one went silent. She is after all the most respected teacher in the school due to how she acts. He himself respected her on a whole other personal level due to everything she has done to help them. 

After all she was the one who informed the four of them how to turn into an animagus and how it helped Moony. She is a wonderful teacher. 

She turned around half way to walking to the front of the class. He was confused as to why. Until she made a gesture for someone to follow her in. After a minute of that person not listening she walked back to the door and dragged them in. His eyes widened slightly when she realized it was Snape. 

He noticed that Snape had changed a a bit sense last year. The boy now had long hair that went a little past his shoulders. He also noticed his outfit. To his surprise he wasn’t wearing their normal uniform and instead was wearing a long white sleeve shirt and a sweater. 

He watched as Snape tried to stamp his feet on the ground and then gave a slight whine. McGonagall whispered something to herself that he didn’t quite catch. But before he knew it McGonagall won the little battle they had. She dragged Snape over to the empty seat where Moony was. He scowled at that, great that stupid git gets to sit next to Moony and he doesn’t. 

He noticed that McGonagall had taken a book Snape was holding and she opened it putting it in front of him with a slam. To his surprise Snape didn’t flinch like Moony had at the noise. McGonagall then pointed to the page. “Mr Snape wait here until class over” the women said in a surprisingly calm mood to the boy after what just happened. 

He watched as Snape looked down at the book while she’s spoke, then looked back up her and nodded. That was a little weird in his opinion... he heard James yell something that Snape didn’t really react to for a minute. He noticed that Snape shut the book McGonagall had set up for him and pushed it to the side in anger.

Then he watched how Snape put his head down with a sigh. Moony didn’t look pleased at sharing a desk with Snape due to his actions so far. It was all a bit surprising how the git was acting. Something was definitely off.

After a little while McGonagall got everyone working on their first assignment of the year. Oddly enough it was a stupid essay on what they where excited about learning this year in transfiguration. 

It was all fine until Snape started to kick his desk violently. That was for sure annoying. “Oh well someone’s acting like angry child today” Prongs said. 

He laughed slightly. “Oh yeah he is, must be emotional stress from losing his dad” he agreed. Lily looked off and seemed to be looking at Snape a lot. 

He decided to ask her about the thing form the other night. “Hey Evans” he said getting her attention. “Yes..?” She said in a very off way. 

“With Snape you said he and he dad got in a accident, how exactly did that happen. You seem to know more then you letting off. “ He asked. She sighed and looked down onto her paper. 

“When they where leaving Kings Cross... they must have been fighting with one another on something... cause someone had said a powerful amount of magic caused a light to smash down onto the road to leave.... and a car swerved off the road and hit them both... we passed it on our way leaving after my parents picked me up... I saw Severus laying on the ground being checked by Healers... he looked... very...” she didn’t continue going quiet. He processed what she was saying. Snape got hit by a bloody muggle vehicle due to his magic going haywire? 

It must have been quite gruesome of a sight coming from the fact of how she was reacting talking about what see saw.

“So he couldn’t control his magic and finally snapped?” Prongs asked Evans. He noticed Lily made a face of a emotion he couldn’t figure out. 

He glanced up at Snape. He noticed McGonagall had put her hand on his upper arm. The git pulled his arm away immediately. McGonagall sighed and pointed to the book. Snape made a face of anger and picked up the book throwing it across the room. 

His eyes widened in surprise at that reaction. But for some reason McGonagall didn’t get mad at him. A lot of people started to whisper about it until Snape got up and speed walked past McGonagall. 

“Snivellus watch out!” Prongs yelled at him sticking out his foot. Snape had no reaction to Prongs words and tripped over his foot landing on his knees. He most likely scraped them. 

Sirius burst out laughing like the others even though he didn’t find it that funny but laughed any way. After all it was just Snivellus. He saw that Snape sat back on his knees and looked up at Prongs with a frustrated look that soon turned into a glare once his eyes landed on Evans who gave a sad look back at the git. 

A second later McGonagall grabbed his shoulder and he knocked her off standing up. “Stop trying to make me do what I don’t wantt to! I do’t want to use thhis stupid book! And I do’t need help from any one just leave me alone!!!” He shouted with some of his words sounding off. 

McGonagall didn’t say anything and just handed Snape the book back before gesturing for him to follow her outside. Which the boy didn't complaint.... now that was weird...He didn’t quite know how to react to that one. 

It was almost like Snivellus couldn’t hear any thing... when they both left the room Prongs turned around in his chair to talk to him and lily. Peter was in the back of the classroom so they couldn’t talk to him and Moony was in the front sadly. 

“Is it just me or did he just act like he couldn’t hear us?” Prongs asked. So he wasn’t the only one who thought so... seems as tho that could actually be a full on possibility

“Who knows maybe Snivellus finally got angry enough to permanently take away his own hearing. Must of been his awful mother’s voice that drove him to do it” he mocked not caring what he said. Prongs of course laughed like he did at every joke Sirius made. 

“Black if you didn’t know Severus's mother is dead. Please don’t make comments like that... not around me.” Lily said to his surprise. He oddly didn’t know that Snape’s mother was dead. Now he was curious as to how. 

“Oh come one Evans, he’s a git who’s hurt plenty of people yourself included might I mind you. There’s nothing wrong with what we're doing as long as we don’t get caught or go over board.” Prongs said with a smile. Lily shook her head. 

“There are plenty of things wrong with what your doing, if he really can't hear then you shouldn’t do those things to him. You're all in your bloody 6th year for christ sake” Lily said with a sigh making a pitiful face. Why did she care what they did do Snape after what he said to her last year...

“Evans your missing the point. We do it cause it’s funny, he's a racist and he stalks you might I add” He said giving her the reasons to why the did it.

She glared at him. “You both are immature toerags! I might not be friends with him any more but at least I can tell when something I do is good or not!” She said angrily to them both. 

Padfoot looked to the front of the class where Remus was and notice that he had spilt all his ink on his papers cause of Snape’s temper tantrum. 

“That git caused Moony to spill his ink all over his stuff.” He said and Prongs made an annoyed face. He knew what he was annoyed at that was for sure. It had to be Snape’s actions. 

At this point they both had ignored Lily’s words and worried about Moony instead. 

—————————

After class ended most of the students picked up they’re things and headed out the door. He could feel eyes on himself not to his surprise but he didn’t want to care but he couldn’t help it. He put his head down on the desk and covered his ears with his arms just in case they dared to show. 

He was overly sensitive about it now... he would have cared if this whole situation wasn’t happening. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder and he looked up. Low and behold Lupin was there once again... he hoped... no he prayed that Lupin wasn’t the student who was going to help him... 

He always noticed the boy was very very tall almost 6’3 just being only 1 inch below it. He also had brownish blond hair with a light mix of red. His hair was curly of course and his roundish sharp face where covered in scratch mark like scars. 

He slightly admired Lupin for being able to show his scars like that, well he himself just hid them... his scars if anything probably shouted creep! Abused! And maybe to some suicidal... people would probably just comment on them and then put stupid ridiculous stories together themselves like they had many times in the past. 

Lupin said something of course he just grabbed his book, and opened it to see what he said. “ McGonagall told me you needed my help with a medical problem and to help you back to your dorms.” He read. Damnit! Great! Just great... 

Good choice of a person to help him out of every one else...he looked back up at Lupin with a glare and sighed. He just got up and passed him. Lupin must have stood back for a second surprised at no answer. 

That of course didn’t last long and he followed after him catching up by the time he had left the classroom. He scowled at that... he didn’t need anybody's help getting to his dorm...or any help from any one for that matter...maybe someone to look out for him so people don’t try and attack him but Lupin certainly isn’t the one to ever help him... 

He opened his book and saw some more writing. 

“Um Snape wait up.. hello?- Remus lupin. 

Oi Snivellus get away from Moony!- Sirius Black. 

Yeah Snivellus get away from our dear Moony!- James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.” The writing appeared. 

He turned around and shot them a glare through his dark long thick hair. God his hair was now so annoying to deal with... he wanted to tie it up but also didn’t want people seeing the scars that where on his ears, and jaw line that connected to the back of his neck where his spine was. 

His mind jumped back at to what was happening now quite fast after that quick thought. “Go ahead and take him... I don’t need his help” he said trying not to mess up but the looks on there faces proved that he did mess up once again. He looked over at Lupin who had a face full of regret somehow... 

Before he could look down at his book Black swiped it out of his hand. He groaned before trying to reach out and grab it. He noticed Black made a face of annoyance while looking at Lupin.

Lupin must have said something cause a second later his lips started moving. He tried to read them only getting a few words in. With them being. But, Moony, give, back, and book. He was still confused that was for sure. 

He started to get annoyed, everything was so frustrating! How could McGonagall assign Lupin to him for him to “befriend” and as someone to help him! That was the stupidest choice that brilliant women had ever made! On top of that if Black and Potter did something to his book he wouldn’t be able to communicate with anyone. It was difficult to read lips and would take a long time to do so... 

He hadn’t noticed another person was nearby and talking. He only noticed cause Black, Potter and Pettigrew all turned in another direction. He looked in the direction they where looking. 

It was Lily... her already long red hair had gotten longer over the summer.. she had also grown a few inches taller then last year.. he frowned instantly and didn’t bother looking at her any longer then that. 

He instead reached out and grabbed his book back from Black. Black was of course caught off guard and made an angry expression. 

He didn’t care honestly he just wanted to go to his dorm... at least there he could pretend like the silence was a choice... 

He got stuck in his thoughts for a little to long cause he was snapped out of it by Potter grabbing his hair. Before Potter could do anything though he swung the book as fast and as hard as he could. He ended up hitting Potter in the face... 

He instantly regretted it... he watched and Potter let go of his hair and as his glasses flew off his face. His face snapped to the side violently and very fast... he dropped his book so fast that Potter glasses and the book hit the ground at the same time. 

He went pale and watched students reactions to his action... it made him feel even worse... and everyone's head snapped to one direction and Professor Slughorn his head of house came walking over at a very fast speed. 

He felt his heart drop again. Everything somehow felt in slow motion... 

The next thing to happen was Slughorn yelling at him. Of course he had no idea of what he was saying so he just made a face of confusion... 

Slughorn had grey hair that was very thin and normally wore this weird square hat that was a lot like a graduation muggle cap... he always thought it was weird. 

Slughorn didn’t seem to show any stopping anytime soon... for a normally calm and nice man he was very mad. 

He somehow was feeling very panicked... it had been building since Black had taken his book but now it was coming in full force. He started to breath very heavily and shut his eyes tightly. He shifted his head down wards and gripped his hair with his hands near his scalp. 

Once again he felt that unfamiliar soft texture of his hair. That just added to his panicked state more. His eyes started to burn next with tears that fell right away from his eyes being shut so tightly. 

His head started to hurt very badly from the grip of his hands in his hair. He soon eased up on the grip once he felt someone touch him. He instantly moved away from them not wanting to be touched. 

They tried again by grabbing one of his hands placing it on the book gently. Somehow he had a feeling it was McGonagall due to the person being gentle and the person not being rough with him. 

He gripped the book tightly slowly opening his eyes. They where blurry cause of tears that had quickly formed in them. He was staring straight down that the black and green leather book. He glanced up at McGonagall who had a very strict and furious expression on her face. He looked in the direction she was looking in and it was at Slughorn, Black and Potter. 

Slughorn had a guilty expression on his face instead of the angry one... Potter was holding his face in pain and he couldn’t tell what expression he was making. With Black though it was just a annoyed expression....


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wanna ask what day you guys want me to update cause I’m currently working on another story that’s going to be published soon. So witch ever day you all think would be good for once a week I’ll update on.

Moony watched every thing unfold and felt terrible...Snape seemed so off and dangerously violent...but when he noticed when Snape started to have a panic attack he felt even worse. He didn’t know what to do and just watched it happen.

Until McGonagall came out it was all just very chaotic. “Horace!! Stop Yelling right this minute! You should already know what his condition is and shouldn’t be screaming at someone who is like this! We had a meeting about this last week! And you four again?! Detention after classes are over with Filch!” McGonagall yelled furiously. 

“Minerva...hold on a second you can’t just take the boy away because of that, he needs to be told what he did wasn’t the right away of acting” Slughorn tried to explain somehow sounding more like a jerk for a normally very sweet man. 

“If you can’t tell Horace he’s having a full blown panic attack! He’s not even a student attending class either! Which gives you no authorization over him when I was assigned to help him! Now I suggest you go back to your rooms while I take Mr Snape to the Hospital wing and in ten minutes you may come Mr Potter.” she said very clearly for every one to hear. She was in a very bad mood that was for sure. 

“Mr.Lupin and Ms.Evans please come with me.” She said before placing her hands on Snape’s shoulders guiding the panicked boy away from the scene. He didn’t hesitate on her orders and quickly followed her followed by Evans who was doing the same. 

She ended up walking the three of them to the Hospital wing. Snape didn’t seem to even notice they were there with him except for McGonagall. 

Madame Pomfrey came over as soon as they walked into the room asking what happened. 

“Horace all of a sudden forgotten what we discussed at the meeting and decided to yell at the boy to get his point across at instead of remembering the book would work just fine.” McGonagall said. That almost confirmed his thoughts on something seriously being wrong with Snape. 

“Oh dear... alright then I’ll get him a calming potion and some sleeping drought. Those should allow him to sleep until past dinner... I still don’t see Albus decision on bringing him here only a day after waking up... I advised him against it for this specific reason...” Madame Pomfrey said and McGonagall frowned slightly. 

What did she mean only a day after him waking up? That confused him... maybe he had some type of surgery? Or not... he couldn’t think of anything at the moment. 

“Professor...can you please explain what happened so we know how to deal with this... even though I very much wouldn’t want to... “ Lily asked as Madame Pomfrey guided Snape over to one of the beds and was able to get him to lay down with just some pressure on his back. 

“Ms.Evans, I can't explain it in detail but what I can say is that he can no longer hear.” McGonagall informed them to his surprise. So Snape was deaf? Now that he thought about it, it pretty much made sense. It explained the large amount of panic and the confused expressions he seemed to make when people where talking... 

He thought back to how Snape’s eyebrows would knit together and how his mouth would partly open when he was confused with something. He had made the face when he tried to get his attention in class. It was almost adorable seeing the Slytherin's features be something other than anger and annoyance towards him... 

He was quick to snap out of his thoughts when Prongs and Padfoot came in to the room. McGonagall’s face went from a very calm and peaceful to one of warning and anger quite quickly. Madame Pomfrey came back over to talk to McGonagall probably about Snape. 

“Well he should be asleep in the next few minutes and I think we should talk to a Healer from St. Mungo’s about getting him regularly on calming potions if we only have two weeks to process all this.” She said before she looked over at Prongs who now had a huge book shaped bruise starting to appear on his face. 

“Let me guess Mr. Snape hit you with his book?” She asked guessing what the injury was. 

“Yes ma’m” he said. She nodded gesturing for him to take a seat on the bed next to the one Snape was peacefully nearly asleep in. 

He watched as Snape’s eyes closed slowly. Soon enough the raven haired boy was asleep, peacefully breathing normally. He looked so peaceful even tho not even 20 minutes ago was having a horrible panic attack... he had never seen Snape so calm.. once again he got the same feeling that he had when Snape made a face of confusion. He wasn’t sure why all of a sudden he seemed to think the raven haired boy was cute to him just from the expressions of emotion on his face.

McGonagall sighed and crossed her arms looking at Prongs and Padfoot. “Mr Black and Mr Potter what were you thinking?!” She said very clearly and angrily to them. Padfoot straighten up and had a look of guilt on his face. “Well ma’m usually Snape will hex James after class and such, so we thought we would beat him to it this year...” Padfoot said. 

Madame Pomfrey came over with a ice pack for Prongs who gladly accepted and put it on his face. “Professor we were certain he was going to do something to Remus since I tripped him in class... and they were walking together after class I just got worried.” Prongs explained. 

Ok now that was kinda a bullshit excuse. “Well Mr Potter, I asked Mr.Lupin help Mr. Snape with a medical problem. If I see you try and attack him again or even hear about it I will inform your parents of your actions of messing with a disabled student.” She said in her not messing around voice.

“How’s Snape disabled? Did his ugly looks make a pass to need help or something?” Padfoot asked while insulting Snape who was just asleep in the other bed. 

“I am not obligated to reveal that information to you Mr Black, I’d suggest you keep your insults to yourself. I’m adding on another detention to the ones I’ve already given you” she said. Madame Pomfrey summoned a curtain and placed it up around Snape’s bed for him to have privacy while he slept. 

“Minerva I need to go out of a errand,” Madame Pomfrey said and McGonagall nodded before gesture towards the door for all of them to leave. 

“Ma’m can I stay I feel like my heads gonna fall off...” Prongs complained. Padfoot glanced at his friend and then back at the teacher. 

“Fine Mr Potter can stay, Mr Lupin since you have a free period you may stay to watch over him.” She said before moving Evans along with Madame Promfrey walked out. 

“But Professor I have a free period too can’t I help watch over James?” Padfoot asked

Mcgonagall shook her head and Padfoot grumbled before leaving the room. 

—————————

Severus walked into his empty common room hoping he was being quiet. After all it was like five in the morning and everyone was still asleep. He had snuck out of the infirmary to go back to his dorm without anyone to help him. After all he didn’t need one due to the fact of him knowing his way around the castle. 

He shut the door behind him softly and walked up the stairs to the boys dorm making sure his foot steps where soft on the stone flooring. He kept having the feeling of wanting to turn around due to the fact of his hearing being completely gone and not being able to know if he was being loud or not. 

Once he got to the top of the stairs he walked down the corridor of doors to his room. He noticed all his roommates where asleep so he just went over to grab some of his things to change and get ready for the day. He opened his trunk not caring if he made noise and grabbed a set of clothing to change into.

He grabbed a black long sleeved shirt along with a pair of black pants to match. He noticed a black hair tie and decided to grab it to see if he could possibly do anything with his hair. He changed into the clothing before heading out to the bathroom to finish getting ready. 

Once he go to the bathroom he made sure to brush out his hair and do his teeth. Of course he couldn’t hear any thing accept that shallow ringing... it made him cringe slightly every time he focused on it. His mind started to wander to a bunch of different things. 

He still couldn’t seem to remember the accident... McGonagall told him he was hit by a car as soon as he left the trains station with his father but something didn’t feel right about that... 

He messed with his long hair and tried to see if he could style it somehow, of course he still wanted to cover his ears but his hair was just annoying like it was now. While doing so he tried to focus on the part of his memory that was missing... 

Maybe he could try and find someone who had seen the accident by asking McGonagall? That might be difficult to be able to muster up but perhaps its something to help. Wouldn’t he at least remember the train ride leaving the station? 

How could he not even remember that... did the whole day just erase itself or did someone purposely take his memory from him to save him the traumatic experience of it? 

He for some reason couldn’t explain why he didn’t have the memory of the day... not even a little bit of it... it’s like it never happened... but it did happen... he has the scars to bloody prove it. Would he gain the memory back threw a similar experience? 

He pulled his hair up in his hands showing his scars clearly... the scar from his ear to his spine showed clearly on both sides of his head. He slid his fingers along the scar that was connected from his ears to his spine. It was thin in with but quite deep and very noticeable. He winced and frowned at it seeing how it sliced threw the middle of his ear then split near the top of his ear. He traced his fingers over it feeling some stitching that had been done probably while he was in the coma. 

There weren’t to many of them but the ones that where there were noticeable for sure. He took a deep breath before putting his hair back down and settling for the hair tie just being on his wrist instead. It could come in use at some point like when he’s working with his potions he can pull his hair back and not let it get as greasy from the potions. 

He picked up his brush and brushed through his hair one more time before using a spell with his new wand to send it back to his room. It was one of the few spells his mom had ever taught him. She taught it to him just in case he ever forgot anything for class or at home that he would be able to summon it easily. 

He sighed and looked up in the mirror before deciding to go get breakfast before everyone got there and crowded up his house table. 

——————————

Once Severus got to the table he took his seat and ate a small amount of toast, eggs and a few pieces of bacon. Definitely not the normal amount a person his age would eat. He had a eating disorder since he was in his second year that developed after Potter had messed up his food by using it for the main courses of his pranks. It made him distrust any food put in front of him for years until his Father had taken him to a therapist once he noticed the problem. 

That stopped happening when he was in his 5th year and his father began to drink large amounts of alcohol to the point everytime he interacted with the man he was almost passed out drunk. It made him gloomy to think about... 

Severus continued to eat until he felt someone’s presence behind him. He turned around to find a short Hufflepuff girl with red hair and freckles standing behind him. He made a look of confusion before opening his book to see if she had said any thing to him... or if she was just being a weirdo. 

He read what she had said. “Hello Snape. I’m Eve and I’m going to help you with your medical condition. I’m the other person Professor McGonagall assigned me to help you along with Remus Lupin...- Beverly Bennet.” 

He looked at the words before looking up at the short girl who called herself Eve and nodded. “I suppose it’s nice to meet you... how did you know where to find me.. and that it was me..” he said. He hoped he spoke clearly and well enough for Eve to hear him. He knew it would sound off and weird at this point but he genuinely hoped she could hear him. He looked down at the book as her lips started to move. 

“Hufflepuffs can find any thing anywhere. It’s our thing.” The book said and he nodded again. 

“That’s not surprising you use that as your explanation” he said not caring much to what the girl was going to do about it or say. She sat down next to and faced him spreading her legs on the bench. 

He had seen the hufflepuff around, he knew she was in the same year as him and they normally only shared one class together. Since Slytherin was normally teamed up with Ravenclaw or Gryffindor for classes. It was rarely Hufflepuff cause it’s not always a good idea to mix fluff with a bunch of racist fucks.... and there where a lot of muggle-borns in Hufflepuff. 

He looked down at the book once again. “Professor McGonagall said you couldn’t hear at all, I’m guessing that’s why you have that book and look down at it every time I talk?” The book read. He didn’t respond of course. Instead he just went back to eating and staring down at his food while he did so. Of course the little Hufflepuff probably kept talking to him like he actually cared or something... 

“Can you go away you tiny gremlin?” He finally said turning towards the short annoying redhead. She just smiled at him like she was planning something. What was it with redhead women and making this look? They just always smiled like the devil like they where planning something. 

He looked down at his book and read what she had said in response. “Ugly goblin” he glared at the pages then up at the tiny gremlin. She just smiled satisfied and that of how she probably wouldn’t back down from a fight like that. 

“Gremlin” he said in distaste before getting up. He shut his book so he wouldn’t have to read her response. He walked out of the hall bumping into someone a lot taller and muscular then him. Before he hit the ground the person grabbed him around the waist. 

He opened his eyes to see pair of grey eyes starring back at him. Panic hit him immediately and he shoved the person who caught him off and reached up to cover his ears where the scar was. Someone must have seen it... and think it couldn’t get any worse he looked up to realize the person who caught him was Lupin. And the worst part of that was Lupin was with his friends. 

He felt an instant huge amount of panic hit him. He didn’t want them of these people to know his weakness... it would make his life a living hell even worse then before...he noticed Black took a step forward towards him and said something. He tried to read his lips and only got the word scar. He started to panic... 

He shut his eyes and tried to think of a way out of this situation. He opened his eyes again to see the little gremlin from before standing in front of him. Black had annoyed look on his face. Before he knew it the gremlin had smacked Black across the face very hard with her hand. Before anyone could react she turned around and grabbed his hand taking off running. 

He was definitely surprised by that and tried to keep up with the short girl. 

He had never once seen a Hufflepuff hit someone in a conversation like that and turn around and run like their life depended on it. This was going to be a crazy experience....


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was late by a day, I am currently having bad health problems so for a little while I’ll have some slower updates. Sorry for the late update and if it continues to be late! 
> 
> It’s the only reason this ones shorter is cause of not feeling well.

James watched as Snape ran face first into Moony. He felt a sting of some type of emotion he couldn’t explain... it felt like disgust but also anger... he shook it off quickly. He noticed a tiny girl with red hair walk out of the dinning hall. She was wearing a Hufflepuff uniform.

His eyes quickly snapped to Snape as he pushed Moony sharply into him and Wormtail. He of course being the great friend he is caught Moony so he wouldn't fall and hit his head. But while doing that his eyes never left Snape. Of course just in case the sly bastard tried to hex Moony for touching him. 

He noticed that when Snape took a step back from Moony there was a scar that was by his jaw. That hadn’t been there last year. He most likely would have noticed if it was... that was of course so he could tease the Slytherin about it and spread rumors! Definitely not any thing else... 

Snape reached up and covered his ears like he was worried about someone see them. He felt the huge amount of amusement of that. He liked it when the git was put in his proper place and treated like the disgraceful, disgusting, hypocrite, half-blood he was. He of course hated the Slytherin's guts because of what the little git said to his lovely Lily. 

He made it his goal to humiliate and target him mainly because he always had Lily’s favor instead of him. He also made it his goal to get him away from Lily which he was successful in. He saw no reason to stop since the git is also a racist and soon to be terrorist. He helped Remus steady himself and Padfoot stepped forward. 

“Covering your hideous scars again Snivellus?” Padfoot taunted with a fake frown on his face. He snickered at the taunt. He noticed the tiny redhead had stepped forward in front of Snape. He didn’t know what she was going to do but definitely not what he expected though. 

She slapped Padfoot across the face very hard and fast before quickly turning around grabbing Snape’s hand quickly running down the hall. He felt that strange feeling again from, quickly pushed it off with pure anger. He chased after the two followed by Padfoot with Wormtail cheering them on to chase them down. 

He personally wanted revenge on Snivellus while Padfoot most likely wanted revenge on the gremlin. 

They chased them both down the hall passing some Ravenclaws. 

—————————

Severus could only feel the wind hitting him as they ran. He was breathing heavily because he definitely wasn’t athletic unlike the tiny gremlin. Who just practically saved him from a confrontation with Potter who most likely was going to physically beat him up instead of hexing him like normal. 

Eve made a quick turn into the abandoned girl's loo... she was as stupid as he thought... great dead end... she quickly let go of his hand and pointed to the stall before heading into the one she pointed to. He felt very uncomfortable being in this room but hid in the stall anyway. 

He gave her a look of confusion trying to get his point across of why she smacked Black. She held her finger up to her pink lips. He nodded slightly and hoped he didn’t make any noise. After a minute the stall door they were in was opened with magic and a pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him out. 

Of course it was Black who had grabbed him and Potter was the one who opened the door. He felt Black grab a handful of his hair and his arm grab him around the waist. He winced in pain and tried to reach for his wand only to have Potter cast a Expelliarmus and his wand went flying out of his hand. 

Of course Potter's and Black's upper hand didn’t last long cause the tiny gremlin snuck up behind Black and jumped on his back. That caused Black to let go of him and for Potter to focus on getting the gremlin off his friend. The little shit went straight in with hair pulling and biting to his surprise. 

If that didn’t show she was a gremlin then he didn’t know what did. She ended up getting Black on the ground having a kind og tug of war. He saw Potter try and grab her but she turned around and kicked him where it hurt. He winced slightly at that. When the little Gremlin did that though Black took his chance and grabbed her hair. 

Severus was having none of that though and grabbed Blacks wrists squeezing really tightly with his nails so that Black wouldn’t hurt her. Black retorted by kicking him in the leg causing him to lose his balance.

Black rebounded by throwing him into the ground, painfully getting on top of him. He tried to kick him off and crawl away only to have Black put full body pressure on him very painfully. He felt Black's knees digging into his spine. He probably yelped in pain because he felt the humming in his throat. 

He clawed the tile and tried to crawl away one last time. But while in the action Black grabbed his hair and tug on it very painfully. He probably yanked out a good few strands. 

He felt breath angst his ear like someone was whispering something. Of course he couldn't tell what they where saying at all. He felt shivers go up his spine and tried to move his head away from Black. But of course to no avail and Black just yanked his hair again making him closer in a very uncomfortable way. 

He shut his eyes tightly as tears welled up in his eyes. He groaned in pain feeling his throat hum as he did so. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain on his ear.... LIKE SOMEONE HAD BITTEN IT.... BLACK FUCKING BIT HIM!! The fuck?! 

The sharp pain was quickly replaced with a wetness that made his heart feel with dread. Black was fucking licking him now?! It filled him with fucking disgust. It was disgusting?! What was he supposed to do?! Why was the jerk even doing it!? 

This whole thing seemed to go unnoticed by Potter and the gremlin. They must have been duking it out with each other too much to notice this very very disturbing and weird situation. He winced in disgust as Black pulled away whispering something again from the air pressure on his ear again. 

He kicked his feet violently to get one of the other two's attention of the situation just hoping one of them would pull him out. He didn’t care if Potter would just hit him just as long as he got away from Black and his weird actions. 

His mind was swarming with disgust, panic and pain. All of it made him frustrated and mad. He kicked his feet up hitting Black's left thigh. A second later he felt pain explode his skull. 

Black had slammed his face into the tiles of the bathroom. He felt sprinkling of water and tried to glance around to see what was happening. He guessed Moaning Myrtle had flooded the bathroom by making every thing go crazy at the disturbance. 

He put his hands in front of his face just in case Black tried to slam his head into the tiling again. Thankfully he didn’t and Black was pulled off him with a large amount of force. The next thing he felt where a pair of male hands on him pulling him to his feet. One hand on his shoulder and an arm wrapped around his waste pulling him to feet. His head was pounding painfully though so he didn’t have the balance to stand up right. 

He didn’t bother seeing who helped him up and just leaned on them for support while holding his head. They most likely where a student due to body of the person being in good enough shape to help him up. He didn’t focus on it long and just tried to keep himself standing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, health issues fucking suck... ;-;

James pulled Snape to his feet. The boy was freaked out and out of it. He held his head and pain and didn’t seem to be able to stand. Much to his distaste Snape held onto him cause he couldn’t stand. He put his head onto his chest and just stood there. He of course put his arm around his waist and one arm under his arms around his back area and held him up. 

He unexpectedly passed out in his arms a moment later. He still held him up thought just this time it took a lot more strength. He felt a strange feeling of wanting to protect him and never let go. He had the sense that Snape was adorable and liked him so peaceful. 

Having his arm around his thin waist was like having his arm around a women’s. Snape should stay quiet like this more often and just allow people to be this close to him. It was certainly enjoyable. The tiny red head gave him a look but soon enough McGonagall came in. 

Her face was full of anger and worry that it made him feel dread. He squeezed Snape closer to him to the point their groins touched. He personally found that he didn’t mind. But Snape probably would if he was awake. 

McGonagall walked right over to him. “We need to get him to the hospital wing right away, Mr. Potter can you please carry him?” She asked and he was surprised she asked him of all people to do it but he nodded. 

He picked Snape up like a princess. He felt like Severus...was his princess...he wanted Severus to be his princess if anything. McGonagall quickly dragged them to the hospital wing. Snape was limp in his arms and surprisingly almost weightless. The boy didn’t have much meat on his bones. He doesn’t often see Snape eating as much as every one els does. Most likely had some sort of weird muggle eating disorder. 

It wouldn’t surprise him if he caught the git throwing up his meals to make himself thin..sit made his stomach turn at the thought of the Slytherin harming himself like that. That was more of his job and the git shouldn’t be tormenting himself right? He didn’t wanna think about that...it made his heart ache like if Lily got hurt.

McGonagall had sent Padfoot to Dumbledore's office while they were walking to the Hospital wing. She guided them in quickly and Madame Pomfrey took Snape from his arms to his distaste. 

“What in the bloody hell happened Minerva!!! He didn’t hit his head did he?! If he did then he might be need to transfer to St. Mungos!” She said in a panic checking Snape like her life depended on it. She rushed them out of the room a moment later. 

“Ms. Bennet I suggest you head back to your dorm and get ready for class.” McGonagall shooed the gremlin away who wasn’t quite pleased with that. She left anyway and McGonagall turned her sharp gaze to him. 

“You James Potter are a reckless toerag! You and Mr Black almost killed him!” She said sharply. He felt his heart sink...he almost killed Snape... how? The git only hit his head...yeah he was deaf but that was it. It must have been weird though, with Sirius acting strange and saying something into Snape's to ear freaking him out.

“Your actions are completely and utterly horrible! You have constantly hurt him over and over and I am tired of seeing it! I’ve put it past me several times due to Albus saying it was boys being boys but I am done!” McGonagall snapped. His eyes widened in surprise...he had never seen the woman this mad. She quickly grabbed ahold of his arm dragging him down the hall. 

He felt a huge amount of shame...so much it made his heart sink. He made his favorite teacher mad...he almost killed Snape...and worst of all he had weird feelings towards the creep.

Once they got to the destination he became aware of where they where and snapped out of his thoughts. They where in Dumbledores office...Padfoot was sitting in front of the desk and to his surprise his parents where there in the room. He felt even more dread...how in the hell did they get there so fast... 

He stared at the ground. 

“I’m quite surprised you actually got his parents here Albus.. it takes almost killing the boy for you to notify them of his actions? Are you kidding me?!” McGonagall said in a harsh tone. 

“Calm down Minerva.” Dumbledore said taking a step forward with his hands gesturing her too. He could feel the anger raising in the room coming from too many people. He didn’t look at his mother or his father and walked over and sat down next to Padfoot. 

He didn’t look at any of them. His heart was racing in his chest and he couldn’t think. He went to far... has gone to far for way too long. It was just supposed to be a stupid rivalry over a girl...but since that day he took her away from him it had gone to far...

“Albus shut up! I will not calm down! You have excused their punishments for way to long! You have caused the boy to suffer more then you could ever imagine! He just woke from a bloody coma and you forced him into an environment that you knew would harm him! He shouldn’t have even be permitted to leave the hospital but you just had to pull strings to get the boy out sooner didn’t you?!” She vented anger in her voice. 

He didn’t know Snape was in a coma...he thought maybe he just was staying with a family member, he never actually thought that the git would have gone into a coma... that just added to the guilt...no wonder they almost killed him...the head injury must have affected him... 

“Minerva I was just protecting the boy! You should know as well as I that he had no one after his bastard father died! What was he supposed to do go with the Malfoy family and become one of those people. I just wanted him to heal better and who better to do that for him then have actual people his age around him.” Dumbledore said. What did he mean bastard father? Did Snape’s father hurt him? Did the man beat him? Abused him?

He couldn’t imagine it. He didn’t want to...that was wrong...it made him shiver...why was she so mad at him if he was trying to help Snape...was Dumbledore a bad guy? Or just blind to good and evil.

“The boy has been made the outcast of this school! Mainly because of these two right here! They have mocked him, pranked him, hexed him, physically beat him up, and don’t forget they’ve spread rumors about him. It was all cause he was friends with a girl, because of his blood status, and the fact he didn’t have much but his mother and father...and barely that” McGonagall argued harshly. 

“You have ignored it all. Pushed it off as boys being boys...and you have no right to call that man a bastard. He was stronger then you muggle or not, he still cared for his wife and son no matter how he messed up later in life...he somehow had more of a heart then you." she added on crossing her arms. 

“James...Sirius...what did you do?” His mother asked in a hurt and betrayed tone. His heart ached at that. He knew he was wrong...that tone was clear...she was hurt and betrayed and just over all disappointed... he had only heard that tone once... it meant he truly fucked up.. and he felt horrible.

“I...I fucked up...I went too far..and I regret it...I have no excuse” he said still staring at the ground. He father didn’t say any thing. Dumbledore had said something wrong to McGonagall and that must have angered her further. 

“Albus! Eileen Prince died of cancer! I don’t know what you have in your head about her being bad but she was a strong women! And a strong student at that! You of all people should know that! Severus is just a child and he suffered enough and I’ve seen enough! It’s either you punish them for their actions for once or I’ll go to the ministry for your actions towards a bunch of children and have you removed from your position!” She screeched defending Snape's mother in the process. That left everyone in shock. And they where right to have that shock... 

He knew Severus mom died but something like cancer had to be painful to watch...he couldn’t imagine losing his mother to that. It hurt to think of that...he didn’t think of it till now...it must have been even more painful to see it and watch it when you could barely do any thing... he felt the urge to step in and protect him somehow. But he knew he would never be allowed to...

That trust would never be able to be built up...he could try but it wouldn’t work like he would need it to....or well wanted it too... how was it possible for someone to lose every thing...? 

Why do people have to suffer like that... have the few things be taken from them... first it was Snape's mother.. then Lily.. then his father and then his hearing? What kind of game was the universe playing at?

He was supposed to just have a rivalry with him... he ended up torturing him...mentally...and physically...he was surprised he hasn’t...offed himself...

His heart ached...he felt a very small amount of what Severus felt...he should just feel guilty for ever cause he deserved it...after all he had everything... while Severus had nothing. He himself took what he had.. he took Lily...maybe the only person who could keep Severus from joining the dark...it would make sense why... Slytherin had a thing for revenge.. even if it was unexpected... or not wanted they still somehow did it. 

What if he tried himself to stop it? He could just stay in the shadows but make it better by helping and pepping him up...if he started small he might be able to. He just would have to make his goal to make up for it as best he could with out him knowing he was doing it! From now on he would help him and leave him alone! 

He had to make up for it! He had no right to leave what he did without a way to make it better. He couldn't erase the trauma but he could create new memories that might just help the slightest bit! 

That was now his goal! Forget lily! She could wait he needed to help Severus the most and he could try and win over them both but Severus could use more help then Lily...Even though he loved Lily he had the urge to focus on Severus.. it felt nice calling him that.. he didn’t deserve to but he’d still call him that any way.... 

He sighed... everyone was bickering around him... he explained to his parents what happened and why he did it and that he would gladly accept any punishment he was given. He gave Sirius a glare to do so as well.. He was hesitant but still went along with it any way. 

Soon enough they where sent out of the office... his parents went home and McGonagall had headed to her first class. They didn’t have classes until later so he took this time to confront his friend for his actions. 

“Padfoot... we went to far and have been for a long time..” he started. Padfoot gave at him with a look of doubt that slightly changed to agreement. 

“Prongs we fucked up but it doesn't matter now, it’s not like we can fix it or anything it’s permanent.” He responded not really giving a fuck. Or maybe that was just what he was trying to give off. 

“Padfoot! You have to admit we fucked up! You almost killed him and what the hell was that weird thing you did to him while holding him down?” He asked jealous slightly at Sirius's actions to Severus who he somewhat considered his princess..or at least Snape was like one.

“What do you mean, I didn’t do anything!” Padfoot said with a the slightest tint of red on his ears and flushing his sharp features just barely. That told him he said something weird... he intended to find out what it was and he was going to push until he confessed. 

“Yes you did, what did you say to him?” He asked giving a serious look to him. He wasn’t going to let up. He never would let up. 

“I mean he did piss me off.. I just said something like he’s a git and all that. He’s bloody deaf it’s not like he could hear me...” Padfoot said looking away with the tiny on his face glowing more red ever so slightly. 

“Padfoot... please be honest with me.. I might judge you but your still my best friend, it’s better not to hide things from each other. It’ll just creat more conflict” he said trying to be gentle with his approach. Hopefully this would get his friend to open up about it. 

And it slightly worked to his delight. 

“I.. I thought it would freak him out if I said something.. sexual.. I’ve been...I don’t know.. since last year I’ve had my eyes on him... and I hate it.. he’s the only thing I see.. all the time..... so I decided to say.. I basically confessed it to him... I just hope..” he cut himself off looking embarrassed. He was shocked... beyond shocked. Oh he didn’t like what he was hearing. That meant he had eyes for Severus.. 

He didn’t want that... he didn’t like that... the possession feeling was kicking in again... he didn’t need this.. and besides Padfoot didn’t deserve him. After all the dangerous stuff he’s done he shouldn’t get him. He would have to win Severus over before Padfoot could!

“So you’re... ok then...” is all he said. Sirius gave him a hopeful look that kind of disappeared. 

“I know it’s weird... but I have never been straight frankly.. I’ve always had eyes for both genders... and he just caught my eye more...” Padfoot confessed looking at the ground miserably. He frowned at him.. he didn’t want to seem him like this. He may not be happy that he’s going after Severus but he wasn’t cruel enough to leave his best friend in the dust over it. 

Of course without thinking he pulled him into a hug. 

“Ya know bro whether it’s a woman or a man that wins over your heart I'm not going to judge you on the fact of their gender, it’ll be if they actually deserve you or not and if they’re an asshole. I’ll tell you straight to your face." he said. He wasn’t heartless... he never wanted to come off as that.. but he most certainly did.. all he could do from here on out was make it better... 

He was a fixer... he had to fix everything. That was what everyone taught him. He would always help Remus, Sirius and Peter.. even though Peter was Peter and seemed to be perfectly fine.. but anyway he would still help them. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking sorry for the long wait bro’s but here’s some smut for my apology. And it’s with Sirius.. and only sirius good luck!

It had been a few days...Remus was extremely worried for Snape...he knew what his friends did and their punishments for it. Their head of house was going to keep a close eye on them from then on. He never wanted Snape hurt in any way... 

The adorable boy didn’t deserve it...and when he held Snape in his arms after catching him, he really just wanted to give him a hug. He still wants to give him a hug and might just put that on his bucket list before he dies if anything. 

He would have to slowly become friends with him...and then hopefully he would have a chance of maybe just maybe asking him out on a lovely date...he was even learning how to do sign language so he could speak with Snape.

He felt guilty since he didn’t protect him...Snape is fragile and should have been treated like a porcelain statue. He was noticing something in Padfoot's behavior when it came to Snape and he was keeping a close eye on him because of it. He didn’t know what his friend was planning or had in mind for Snape but he wasn’t going to let anything like that happen.

He had the slightest feeling like Snape was red riding hood and he was the big bad wolf...but instead of him eating Snape like a cannibal he would want it to be the other way... 

Hell if anything he would want to be Snape's first kiss, and his first time along with being his first boyfriend and his only boyfriend...he would love to cuddle with him whether he could hear or not hear and just would love to cradle him in his arms ever so gently...

He would make their kisses very soft and loving, he would make love to him very slowly and enjoyable. He would also hug the Slytherin and be close to him all of the time... 

It’s all he wanted...he wanted Snape...he wanted everything he had to offer...he found him adorable like a small kitten. 

He would just have to hide the fact he was a werewolf from him...it would be difficult but worth it. 

It had been a week since this happened. Every ones been silent and obedient, not doing really anything. James seems to keep a book really close to him. He doesn’t know what the book is but he should probably ask soon. 

He really wanted to see if Snape was ok...his heart hurt and he was very worried. He didn’t want him to be hurt...he didn’t want Snape to be deaf....he didn’t want Snape to ever go through anything that horrible. But somehow just maybe in his head that would allow them to have a connection. 

————————-

Sirius was sitting on his bed relaxing. He was leaning against the bed frame and some piled up pillows. He would have had the covered pulled up to his knees but that was just uncomfortable since it was too hot for that. 

He shut his eyes taking some deep breaths in and out a few times over and placed his hand on his chest sighing. 

An image of Snape in muggle clothes standing outside by the Great Lake flashed into his mind. Snape hair was blowing and was in his face. He whipped it out of his face while tightly wrapping his robes around him. 

He felt his cock twitch in his pants and start to grow hard. Another image of Snape appeared in his head, it was one of the times when Snape was able to over power him physically and slam him into the wall. He loved how close they had been...back then he hasn’t figured out he liked Snape but the whole action confused him that was for sure. 

He felt his cock grow to full hardness and it was painfully tight in his trousers. He reached down and unbuttoned his pants pulling them down to his mid thigh. One hand traced it's way down to his cock that was covered by his boxers. While the other hand traced up under his shirt pulling it up. 

He traced his hand over his nipple and made a small noise that probably sounded like a whine. He moved his thumb in circles around it then pinched it and it cause his cock to twitch again. His other hand slid his boxers off down to where his pants where with his thigh. His cock was hard against his stomach, he reached out and grabbed his wand placing a silencing spell on his bed and putting up a ward to let him know if any one came in. 

He then cast a lubricant spell onto his hand. He smeared more of it around onto his fingers and reached down to his anus. He moved his hand over his anus before slowly penetrating it with one finger. 

“Hmm-ahh” he moaned and he moved his fingers around in his tight ass. He stretched his ass enough to add a second finger. He moved his free hand over his nipples more pinching and twisting them. 

He moaned again and started to pant heavily. He stretched himself more and added a third finger hitting his prostate. “Ah! Mph..” he moaned with his feet curling. 

His panting continued but more heavily then before. He reached down and gripped his cock pumping it furiously. 

“Ah-Severus...mmmmm” he moaned in pleasure imagining himself being fucked by Snape and having Snape’s hand on his cock instead of his own, making him beg for more cruelly.

He so wanted that! That would be amazing to be put in his place. To be held up against the wall by force and to be fucked senseless. He wanted to know how Snape acted in bed. He wanted to know what he was thinking all the time. He wanted to know what Severus's body felt like, and looked like under all those clothes he wears. 

Severus was always his focus...he wish the Slytherin would make him scream in pleasure while shouting his name. 

“Severus...oh fuck...” he moaned loudly knowing no one would hear him. He rammed his fingers into his prostrate still pumping him cock over and over again. 

When he felt like he was going to hit his climax he slowed down and let himself cool down. Then he started again. 

He ran his thumb over the head of his cock and over his slit very gently as to tease it before going back and pumping his shaft once again. He twisted his fingers around in his ass scissoring it. 

“Mmmgh awe fuck! Severus! Fuck!” He whines out loud again thinking of Snape. He rammed his fingers in and out repeatedly. 

His climax was near and soon enough he came, hot white sprits onto his chest, stomach and fingers. He was breathing very heavily and reached over and grabbed his wand casting a cleaning spell on himself to get rid of his cum and the lube that was coating his ass. 

He pulled up his boxers then pants buttoning them up. He then pulled down his shirt and just leaned back on his bed. 

Oh sweet Jesus there was something wrong with him.....

————————

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Beverly were all called up to McGonagall's office. She was sitting in her chair with her hands clasped together. James was nervous...so was every one else but that red head Hufflepuff. 

“Well I called you all in here to let you know Severus Snape’s condition.” She said calmly. Lily was uneasy, he didn’t know why but she was. Padfoot had the look on his face of the slightest amount of worry and something else he couldn’t read. 

“Mr. Snape has woken up finally, but his memory is temporally gone. Not all of it, he remembers how to do things just not who he or who anyone else is...” she said sighing.

His eyes widened... Severus lost his memory? So he wouldn’t remember all the things they did to him? Would he be able to have a new start with him? 

Maybe he could befriend him this time...and prove he’s a good person and once Severus is back to normal he can see that for himself. He really hoped he’d be able to...now he had something to wait for and work towards. 

But how was he supposed to react to this? Was he supposed to be happy? Or maybe angry with Sirius? Should he just ignore it for Lily’s sake? Or could he just really care and feel depressed about it? Because that last options sounds like what he was feeling right now that was for sure. 

All he wanted to do was make up for his mistakes of hurting Severus. Maybe he could send some flowers with a note by owl. Or perhaps maybe a care bear, like you send to someone in the hospital. He should go to Hogsmeade and look around for something the Slytherin would personally like, that he could wear. That way he could see Severus wearing something he got him and he could admire it on him. 

Something marking like a wedding ring would. It would say “personal property of him” and no one would know. After all he was practically like a prince from a story of Cinderella.

And Snape was Cinderella, the similarity’s where quite crazy if you thought about it. Severus came from a poor abusive home and his parents are both dead, he was abused probably, and lastly he was alway...hurt by him and his friends...like the evil step sisters... 

Then he himself was the prince... he could make it up to Severus by proving he’s not an evil step sister! He could prove he’s the prince Severus was looking for! 

But then there’s the fact that he doesn’t even know if Severus likes men...shit...guess he would have to find out then pursue him! But more kindly and not like he does with Lily... 

After McGonagall sent them out of the room Lily said something rude to the small Hufflepuff. Something along the lines of a word like duck or dyke...he guessed it was a muggle term he didn’t know. 

He turned to see what was going on instead of walking with his friends. He walked over. 

“Oh I’m sorry Miss Princess Evans, does it offend you that I’m a lesbian? Or the fact that I wanna fuck my own gender?” The tiny girl said. She had a very noticeable Scottish accident with her voice sounding scratchy but squeaky and very geeky. 

He noticed what she said and then looked at Lily’s face was of disgust and something he didn’t understand as to why. Was she disgusted with the tiny hufflepuff being attracted to women? Frankly it was very normal here and usually wizards we're fine with it unless they where snobby pure-bloods or muggle-borns who hated it. 

Frankly he had heard there was a female hufflepuff who liked women, the story went that her roommates hated her and got some 7th year Slytherin to totally beat the shit out of her, scaring her and after that she was labeled as the house disgrace. But that was when he was in his 4th year...was the gremlin her? 

If it was her he felt bad for getting in that fight with her... 

“Oh what do you want...” she grumbled noticing his presence. Lily smiled at him.

“I just came over to see if every thing was ok...Lily is she bothering you or something?” He asked. Lily looked at her with disgust then turned to him with a calm face. 

“She kept staring at me during the meeting” she accused and he caught on fast. She wasn’t starring at her...Lily was trying to start a problem. Oh great. 

“I was not staring at you! And besides I have a type and it defiantly isn’t redheads who get pissy for getting called a slur while someone is being embarrassed in front of everyone.” She said and he felt a sense of guilt in his heart. He should say sorry about that to Severus. 

“He called me a god damn slur! I was his best friend! He had no right!” Lily argued back. He stayed quiet and the Hufflepuff got angry and her face grew red before she shouted something back. 

“Oh well I remember very clearly that you did the same thing to me. You hated me so much you and your little band of girls came and took my shirt, sweater, and cloak making me have to run back to my dorms in my bra. So kindly fuck off and not in the good way” she said angry. He couldn’t believe Lily had done something like that. 

He knew that he had...but her? The kind girl he liked and loved so much? She was so against people like the Hufflepuff to the point she took her clothes...and made her walk back to her dorm...why didn’t Dumbledore do anything about that. When did that even happen. What about the girl's head of house? Did she not see it fit to do anything about it.

Man this school really is fucked up...he and his friends along with all the people they’ve hurt are proof of it... 

“I did it cause you tried to hit on one of my friend you disgusting little freak! I regret ever being friends with Snape...he’s just like you...why do they even allow you people at this school!” Lily said. What...Severus...he’s... his eyes lit up with hope. 

Severus is gay! Fuck yes!!! Yesssss!! 

His mind snapped back to what was happening tho and he glared at Lily. 

“So there’s something wrong with being gay? Or bi? Maybe trans?” He sneered talking a dangerous step towards the girl he thought he liked. Oh was he wrong... she was cruel... so very cruel... how did he not see that she was just being a popular girl and not the sweet Lily he fell in love with when he was 11. 

But maybe it wasn’t her...maybe it was Severus. If it was Severus it would explain a lot...thinking of the Slytherin caused his heart to beat fast and in a rhythm like a song... 

He loved how Severus was the perfect size for him to cuddle...and how his hair was now always fluffy and kinda messy in a very cute way. Then there was how peaceful he looked when he was reading, it was like he didn’t have a care in the world and was busy in his head. He used to love how he would react when he teased him and how he would retort by saying something mean back. 

He also noticed that Severus was taller and a bit bigger then Sirius... he would be surprised if Sirius ended up being the bottom of they happened. He also probably wouldn’t mind a threesome with the both of them. Oh dear his thoughts are going in the wrong direction. 

He noticed Lily had escaped and he was now just staring at a wall like a dumbass. The gremlin had also left...same with his friends. He decided to just head back to his room. 


	8. Chapter 8

Sirius didn’t know how to react to Snape losing his memory...he loved how Snape was so filled with hate when they fought. He found it honestly sexy. But also a sweet Snape could be something to look forward to... 

Would it be considered rape to get a person to have sex with you when they have no memory? He wondered...he wouldn’t want to have sex with Snape if he didn’t have his memories. But it could also be the last time he got this chance in any way... 

In the past he had seen Snape in the showers in the hospital wing when they both where stuck in there in 4th year. He noticed he was thin and had a bunch of scars on his body, mainly his thighs...they where very thin and straight...they must have been self harming now that he thought about it. He had also seen how nice his ass was along with his cock. 

When he pushed his hair back out of his face in the water was probably the point he realized he was gay for him...it honestly made him rock hard at that very moment. 

Yep...he was gay alright. Just thinking of that time turned him on. But he stamped it down. He wasn’t going to feed into it...even though he would like to.

He should be careful from now on with everything he does. Sirius walked down the halls of Hogwarts alone. Remus was a little cross at him for doing what he did. James was busy with something in their room, he didn’t care to stick around to hear about. And Peter...was being Peter and trying to impress a girl who wanted nothing to do with him. 

To be completely honest he didn’t respect Peter as much as Moony and Prongs. Hell he gave Peter a shitty nickname to show for it. In his gut he just had a bad idea of Peter and some of the things he did. After all who gives a kid a nickname like Wormtail? 

He shook the thought off and continued walking down the hall. He encountered someone he very much didn’t want to see...it was Regulus. His little brother and of course Regulus was polite when his little brother looked up at him. 

His brother face turned to a softness of want and sadness then straight to a mask full of anger and hate. He gave a sorrowful look. 

“Um...hi Reg” he said awkwardly. His brother had long curly hair like him that was black. His face was also very sharp but had a nice softness to it like a younger and less handsome like his own. Unlike him Regulus had bright blue eyes that looked like someone cast a lamps under clear blue water.

“Don’t hurt me Sirius...I can't talk to you so no point in trying” he said before walking past him with his hair flowing in his walking motion. 

He didn’t want to let Regulus go so he decided to go after him. 

“Regulus please can we talk? I-I need to explain to you what happen...at least let me do that and you can choose what you want to do from there. If you don’t want me to be in your life I’ll leave you alone and won’t act like you exist...you can do the same” he said looking at his younger brother. 

Regulus stopped in his tracks and turned around ever so slightly. He had a softer expression. He sighed and fully turned towards him. 

“That’s fine. We can talk...explain please...so I can put this to rest” he said softly. That was the gentle brother he knew and missed so...so much...

His brother was probably the only Slytherin he’d ever be nice to.. 

“Right...would you like to go talk somewhere?” He asked. Regulus nodded much to his relief. 

They ended up walking to a nearby empty class room. He walked over to the empty and leaned on a empty teachers desk while regulus leaned on the closed door. 

“Explain please Sirius” he said gesturing for him to start. He took a deep breath and clenched the desk digging his nails into the wood. For a second his mind rushed to Snape fucking him on the desk due to the gesture of his hands clutching the side of the desk. 

He shook the thought out of his head to avoid an erection that could occur while thinking of that lovely unholy image. 

“Regulus...Mother and father already hated me when I was sorted. That hate grew when I ended up being more and more of what they hated. Since last year...I...I’ve discovered even more about my self.” He began. The only people he had ever told about him discovering his sexuality where his parents and Prongs... 

When he told his parents that was gay...he knew they wouldn’t be ok with it, but he just had the slightest amount of hope that they would at least consider making him get rid of it somehow...he knew they would never accept that part of him.

He wanted it back then to be gone, but now he really just didn’t care. Through some discoveries of trying to get rid of it, he realized he couldn’t. 

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Once I told them what I discovered it was the last straw. They decided I wasn’t worth even mentioning. I told them I was gay. And a week after that we fought and I grabbed my stuff and went to James’ house...“ he said and regulus looked at him pitifully. His brother frowned and walked over to him. 

He put his hand on his shoulder and looked down. “Sirius.... that’s ok. They...they push things out of us. Always have. Always will... They’ve pushed you to your breaking point...but since you're gone I have to step up and be what I never wanted to be. I say as long as you... as long as you be free with what you are you’ll be fine. And fuck mother and father they’re just some crazy old people who can never and will never raise a child right.” Regulus said. He looked up at his brother with bright eyes. 

How...when...he should have...guessed Regulus wasn’t against him. He couldn't help but think he was though. His mind was plagued by listening to others' opinions on it. He took a deep breath. 

“I couldn’t take it anymore....they pushed me to my edge...I beat my self up over it. I...I've hurt myself mentally...physically. I started to push everything away and I tried...I tried to be what they wanted... I wanted to be what they wanted...but I’m just a mess up... “ he said feeling all the guilt and memory’s of himself flood back into his mind. 

He used to hurt himself over it...he used to cut himself meaning...and no one ever knew...well not until that night. Everything came crashing down that night...his parents got violent with him...they fought...

They ended up casting one of the unforgivable curses on him...it was crucio. It was the worst pain he had ever and will ever feel. He felt a shiver go up his spine... 

This was going to be on his mind all day...after his talk with Regulus he went to the abandoned girls bathroom where Moaning Myrtle haunted. He found the place quiet and calming...and he wanted to apologize for the commotion he caused. 

He walked into the bathroom and felt puddles on the floor splashing under his feet. She slightly flooded the bathroom...something must have upset her then. He noticed a boy standing there over the sink with his tie, cloak, and sweater pulled off. 

From behind he had dark black curly hair. The sides of his head where shaved and the rest of his hair but all messy cause he must have been running his hands threw it. 

He noticed the tie the boy had was green which meant he was a Slytherin. He turned around when he heard the door open and him walking in the water. The boys features where soft and round but he did have some nice cheek bones. He noticed that the boy's hair had a large amount of blue in it as well...that was interesting. Must be muggle dye of a special glamour. 

The boys nose was long but straight and round near the end just a little bit. And his eyes where a mixture between orange and brown and very light. For some reason he had fuckin long eyelashes and his eyebrows where kept perfectly like a girls. 

He looked over his body next, he had broad shoulders but no muscle in his arms, his torso made a curve into his hips. The belt that was holding up his trousers squeezed his hips tightly and made the curves more pronounced. For a man he had the figure of a women. 

He looked up at the guy's face one more time and noticed red tear stains on his very pale skin. Honestly he could mistake the boy for a vampire if he had more bags under his eyes. 

His eyes focused on the boys lips and noticed they where quite plump with piercing on either side of his mouth that looped them. 

“What do you want?!” The Slytherin said deeply and darkly. He gave a bored expression in return. The kid had an English accent that was difficult to hear in his deep tone of voice. It also sounded like he was deepening it. 

“Geez calm down...I’m just in here to be alone. But never mind, I’m not being around a moody teenager.” He said getting ready to turn around. 

“At least I’m not someone who was disowned by their family” the Slytherin said in distaste. That ticked him off and he turned around to face him. 

“Oh shut up you slimy Slytherin. And you can’t even talk about that, you're probably a muggle-born” he said giving the Slytherin boy another once over. 

“No I’m a Pure-blood actually. And you can’t say I’m slimy when you put Severus Snape in St. Mungos” he said with a bored expression going up to wipe his eyes once again to wipe away the tears. 

“Oh shut up. I know” he returned in bored banter. Honestly he just kicked his feet in the water in boredom and watched as the water swished away in a rippling motion. 

————————

It had been another 2 weeks since Severus had woken up. He was lying in his hospital bed, he didn’t know who he was until this nice women named Minerva McGonagall explained everything to him. 

She ended up explain some sad things and that he would need to use a book to communicate with him. 

The first thing was that his mother had died when he was young and that her name was Eileen. She explained a lot about her, like how smart with potions she was and what type of family she came from. Then she explained his father and the fact that his father worked at a nearby mill to his childhood home. But that he ended up dying a few months ago in an accident.

It was a car accident, apparently the magic that flowed threw his body went haywire and he cause a lamp post to fall onto the nearby rode making a truck swerve and hit them both. His father and him where taken to the current hospital he was in. His dad ended up passing away a few hours later from injuries to his spinal cord and it ended up hitting a nerve that connected to his brain that made his whole body to stop functioning and it killed him. 

She explained that the same kind of thing happened to him and that it was a different nerve that hit his ears. The scars that where near his ears where from surgery. The cuts where already there from the accident but ended up being lengthened by the surgery trying to save his hearing to no avail. 

Minerva then explained magic to him but that he already knew about it somehow and was able to figure out at least he was a wizard just not what type. She was coming back today to take him to the school she had explained to him. He didn’t see why or how he was in the state to go back but she explained it was just a test to see if he could remember anything if they went back. 

There where also people who owed him an apology for what they did to him. He wondered if it was the people who had been sending him a bunch of things. 

That would be an interesting twist if they were. Maybe they had a change of heart? Or was that not possible for someone so cruel to do? He didn’t know...hell he couldn’t even remember them. 

He decided to get ready before it was time to go. 

He stood up off his bed and opened a small luggage that was left for him by Minerva. He noticed some nice colors and nice pieces of clothing he really liked. He matched some clothing and then changed into it. He went to the bathroom to see what it looked like on him and to fix any thing that was off about it. 

He was wearing a black button up shirt with a crimson red felted button up like jean jacket that was very long. He also was wearing a pair of pants with a high waist that where also black. He liked how it looked. He kinda looked like a noble man just with more style. 

Next he focused on his hair. He didn’t like how long it was and how it was the way it was. He didn’t know how to tie it up either... maybe he could ask the nurse to teach him. But then again he might be a burden to her if he asked. 

He decided to just try to do it and get it over with. 

Once he asked her how to do tie up his hair, he practiced until he did it well enough to the point that it looked well on him. Though you could see the scars on his face clearly, he didn’t feel embarrassed to hide them. He didn’t know why that’s was though. 

He slipped on a pair of shoes he found in the small trunk and brushed his of hair out of his face.

Also there was this constant ringing was in his ears...did this not annoy him before or did it? Because it was annoying him now... he wondered what it would be like to hear people...he knew everything else he just couldn’t remember sound...other then his own memories that is. 

Soon enough the nice lady named Minerva showed up surprisingly fast. 

He was going to the school she explained about. He was excited and really wanted to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Severus followed behind Minerva like a very happy child looking around with a lot of wonder. Anyone who knew the Slytherin would probably be very freaked out with his actions. On top of that he was showing off his scars to everyone. That would make anyone stare. His whole look could make anyone stare honestly. 

But he didn’t have a care in the world, he walked confidently with the woman with one hand in his pocket and the other gripping his text book.

Minerva led Severus to her office, it was behind her classroom nonetheless witch was interesting to him, must have made it a lot easier to accesses something and would allow the teacher privacy while grading paperwork. 

When the walked in there where three boys, and two girls standing in the room. He had no idea who they where and wondered why they where here. Could they maybe be the people who made him lose his memory? 

Or where they friends of his...? Why has no one bothered to explain in more detail to him about things like this? At least he was going back to the hospital after today.

The ringing in his ears got slightly louder and for some weird reason made him want to twitch at the sound repeatedly. 

He opened his book at looked down at it to see what everyone was saying since their mouths were moving. 

“Oh wow...his scars are...I didn’t know they where like that...-James Potter 

They’re going to be apologizing to you Mr. Snape. Mr. Black who is standing to the farthest right is one of them and Mr. Potter who is standing next to him as well -Minerva McGonagall.”

The book said. James gave off the vibe of being kinda stupid and rude already so that made sense. 

He must be a dick if he made him lose his memories. Or just a dick in general...he just gave off being a dick vibe. 

He gave Potter a once over a few times to get his looks familiarized. The boy over all was tall and well built with a lot of muscle in his body. It was attractive but he stamped that down and continued. 

His face over all was well shaped with being sharp at his chin while also being square overall. He also had pronounced cheekbones with thin layers of skin covering them. His eyes where a nice hazel color and were somewhat wide looking. His nose was very straight and a lot better looking then his own. 

His hair on the other hand was like a birds nest that had been taken over by a rat and fucked up. His hair was a very dark brown color almost black though. It was a very nice color just unkept. 

He then looked at Black. He noticed the boy had longish curly hair that was really well kept unlike Potter, he also had a very sharp face features that made him very handsome. But he was very short. Even shorter then him and his friend sky rocked over him springily. 

Black was also very muscular just less then Potter. He looked into Black's grey eyes and noticed a huge spark of lust and desire for something. He had a feeling it was directed towards him. He better keep his distance. 

Black came forward first and handed him a letter so he could read it. 

“Dear Severus Snape 

I’m sorry for being a huge git, jackass, slimy bastard, and a bully towards you. My explanation for that isn’t something simple. I can only explain why but not excuse how my actions have been for so long. 

So here’s what cause me to act like this. My parents hate me to their core. They’ve abused me and that’s gone to my head as normal and okay. Which is not okay, and never should be. I should have grown up and never done anything to you. 

When James started to tease you in our first year I went along with it and did it way more then him. Hell I gave you the nickname of Snivellus. That was very cruel of me.. “ Severus read turning the page. 

He didn’t know what to think of what Black was saying but it seemed he must have been the one to make him lose his memories instead of Potter. But he didn’t think such a pretty guy like him would be abused? 

His parents defiantly fucked him up a great amount. That was clear. He continued reading. 

“I’ve also hexed you a thousand times using some very illegal hexes on you in the halls and getting away with it. At least only getting a detention. 

I wanted to tell you that I admired you for being exactly what my parents wanted. I was jealous. Very jealous of you. But I was also jealous of the people around you and still am. Hell I want to be one of them...

Severus Snape. I am head over heals for you and I don’t expect you to feel the same or even like this. Might even be creeped out to your own right. So I’m sorry. Will always be sorry. I am a fuck up and that is clear. 

The scars I’ve left on you is proof of that enough. Thank you for reading my letter. Honestly this was the hardest thing for me to write.

But having you know how I feel makes my heart less heavy and I feel...like I’m on fire thinking about you. I won’t ever express my interest to you other then this letter. It is not right and I should stamp it down because my attraction is horrible. 

My father and mother think so. The only other two people who know also think maybe I should step back so I will. You are deserving of a castle with a prince or princess. Not the noble who hated you for being a peasant as James would put it...” the letter ended with. 

His heart felt bad for him. He shouldn't be but he did. Black seemed to be the underestimated, tortured, and never given the chance to...he was supposed to be what he was without other people judging what he was. 

He looked at the handsome boy and gave him a sorrowful look. 

“I can put this behind me if you promise me that you’ll go to therapy and get the proper help you need. Because it seems like the people around you aren’t noticing your cry for help. I probably won’t be your friend but I can at least not hold a grudge to you for your actions and move on. That’ll just make me need more help then I already need” he joked partly near the end giving the handsome boy a suggestion. 

Everyone around him looked at him in surprise and the handsome boy way biting his lip tightly trying not to...possibly cry? 

He hoped not. He was too pretty for that. He wanted to hug him but he didn’t know if that was appropriate. 

He sighed and turned to the nice woman who helped him with a strict face. “Can we please have the people who aren’t apologizing waiting in the hall...I don’t think it’s appropriate for them to be in here miss.” he said hoping she understood him. 

The women looked surprised for a moment. Her expression changed from surprise to considering it. Then she finally sent the two girls and boy out into the hall. 

The handsome boy continued to bite down on his lip and looked like someone was torturing him. He shouldn’t feel bad for him...he really shouldn’t....but he couldn’t help it. 

The one thing he thought he could never do was hug someone who probably tortured him for years of his life. But there he was. Hugging him. Without a care in the world other than if he was okay or not. 

He hugged him by wrapping one arm around his shoulder while the other went under his arm. Black stiffened in his arms. 

Honestly he didn’t think anyone else in the room would have hugged Black or even really noticed his body movements. Or well maybe they did...he didn’t know how he was acting he was just mainly doing it honestly. It felt like the good thing to do. 

——————-

WHY THE FUCK WAS SNAPE HUGGING PADFOOT?! DOESN’T HE KNOW HE WAS THE CAUSE OF HiS MEMORY LOSS FOR FUCKS SAKE?!!!

Oh come on! He was the one who carried him to the hospital wing, he was the one to help him up when he passed out when No one else stepped up to do so. Like what the fuck man. 

He wanted a hug! He deserved one! He was the hero in this story! Sirius was just the abuser! Sirius was the one to constantly go after him, hex him, beat him up, and to watch him all the time! This wasn’t fair! Sirius was the abuser and the one...being abused... 

He got so jealous that he didn’t realize he wasn’t thinking right...he didn’t realize Sirius must have put something in that letter to make him unstable and to want to cry. Did he say something that might make him like this...what in the hell could he have said for his actions to be like this. 

What if he told about his parents...or him liking him...? That would be enough for this type of reaction. 

His heart started to sink and his mind started to drift to a place that he had locked away just because of the pain he felt for his friend. 

It was a memory he hated. It was of the night sirius had appeared on their door step...

He remembers seeing Sirius covered in bruises. His lovely black hair tangled beyond a mess that he knew his friend would never let happen. His handsome face covered in tear stains and his mouth had blood dripping from it.

He was wearing a white button up shirt with a white knitted sweater over it with a simple pair of trousers. He wasn’t wearing any shoes. He also noticed a larger amount of blood dripping from his wrists being stoped by a simple bunched up cloth. He had been the one to open the door when that happened and he called for his parents right away. 

They carried him inside and his parents sent him for their medical kit, water, clothing, and blankets. Once they had settled down from the rush and helped Padfoot they sent him to his room for the night. 

No one explained to him what happened and what was going on. In the early morning he snuck down early to get breakfast and hopefully talk to Padfoot. 

But before he could make it all the way down to the stairs he heard a conversation with his parents in the kitchen. 

“Merlin knows what she did to that sweet boy...he’s been shivering and shaking all night. We need to report them to the ministry Fleamont.” His mother said to his father in a panicked and worried tone. 

“Euphemia even if we tried you know they’ll just get pardoned and take the boy back into their custody and do this all over again to him.” His father said back in a very similar tone to his mother. His heart was pounding. So Sirius was being abused by his mother and father. 

The people who where supposed to care about them the most in life and the ones who where supposed to never let go of their child? Sirius... Sirius was being abused and that’s why he never talked about his home life. That was why when any of them were brought up he never spoke of it. It made sense...he just wishes he would have paid more attention to it... then being an ignorant child. 

“But we can't just ignore it...they used the Cruciatus Curse on him...he said so himself. Or at least he described it as that. He said it was red and it made him feel like it was the worst pain he had ever been put through. And as punishment for something he said wasn’t normal!” His mother argued trying to get his father to reconsider. He was surprised. He felt guilty. He felt over whelmed. 

He heard someone shifting on the sofa and then glanced to the right where the living room was across from the kitchen. Sirius was sitting up looking at him. He looked better but still bruised and scared. 

“James...?” His best friend asked still tired. James stood up quietly and walked over to his best friend. 

He walked around the couch and sat down on the nearby match one person sofa. 

During that he ended up talking very little to Sirius about what happened but he was made aware of him cutting his wrists deciding to off him self... witch surprised him. Then there was his parents had used a horrible curse on him, and that Sirius wasn’t going back and that his parents where keeping Sirius there permanently to keep him safe from Sirius’s parents. 

Soon enough he found himself back into the normal world out of that terrible memory... 

Sirius had broken into a full on crying fit while his head of house was helping him and Severus was trying to help him as well. He had just been standing there like an idiot. 

He quickly rushed over to help Sirius as well, he could apologize later. His friend should come first instead of his love interest. 

———————

Remus was standing out in the hall with the others when his head of house sent out Snape for them to be on their way. 

“Remus, Lily. Can you please take Mr. Snape with you to your potions class to observe. I hope it will trigger something in his memory for it hopefully to return.” McGonagall asked kindly standing at here door with Severus standing next to her. He seemed to be looking at her with his eyes full of worry about something.

Sirius and James hadn’t come out yet. He was worried...he’d have to ask what happened later for sure. 

“What about James and Sirius?” He asked. 

“They’ll be by later. I just need to talk to them about a few things.” She informed and he nodded. That was code word for some type of “their in trouble” or “break down time” with them. It was rarely the second one but he still worried about his friends. 

But to be kind he walked up to Snape and held out his arm for the Slytherin to guid him. Even though it wasn’t necessary he wanted to do it other wise. He was curious about what Snape would do. 

To his surprise he took his arm. He felt fuzzy and happy inside about that. This was interesting though since Snape lost his hearing and his memory it made him a lot more softer and kind. 

He wondered why Snape wasn’t angry or violent about his hearing loss at the moment. Could he not remember what sound was like? Because if that was true, it'd eat at him and make him want to fix it or make it better. Even though he wouldn’t be able to. 

Snape had a gentle touch oddly and was very calm. Hell he even had his hair in a bun. He was getting fluff vibes from him honestly. And he adored it completely. It made his heart sky rocket and flutter all at the same time. 

He led him down the hall with Evans who he was currently not talking to and disgusted with. The Bitch had the audacity to say something mean against gay people. Well new flash honey! Ya walking next to one who even expresses it and would be open about it if there weren’t homophobes like her walking around! 

Today he was wearing a nice brown sweater that buttoned up. His tie was loose and his shirt was in tucked comfortably to no ones protest. 

He also wore his hair messy-ish with his curls showing in his brown hair. He’s very tall so it makes him appear more gentle when his scars make him look...harmful. 

But when he looked at Severus scars he couldn’t help but feel like they might just be in the same boat. People might see him as scary as well...maybe he could help Snape see that even if that happens he’s still normal. Maybe they could do that for each other. 

He could make Snape smile. He’d love to see a smile on his face. He deserved that honestly. And of course he wanted to be the person to give him that. 

Once they reached the potions class room Slughorn seemed to be surprised that Snape had come with them. And it wasn’t just Slughorn. it was everyone else too. 

All the Slytherins they where sharing a class with where whispering and staring intently. One in particular was Evan Rosier. 

He was sitting in the farthest corner of the class room alone and nearby the desk Slughorn informed him to sit with Severus. Rosier was a notorious known to be bad person. He was the cousin of Sirius cousins known as Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narccissa. 

The bloke had blackish dark brown hair with a slight hint of red curly hair. His hair was styled to part on the left side slightly blocking his eye. He had similar sharp features on his face like Sirius but more pronounced and his jaw was a lot more straightened. 

His eyes over all where oval shaped with a sharp ending. His eyes always looked tired and dropped ever so slightly giving the appeal as if he was bored or didn’t get enough sleep. He had very long eyelashes any girl would be jealous and envy of. His eye color was a greenish blue with a hint of grey near the bottom that blended out the whole eye color oddly enough to make him more handsome. 

His nose was very straight and sharp like his jaw and had freckles covering it and his sharp cheeks. His eye brows where well kept as well and could almost appear as if he was using some type of make up to fill them in. 

As for his lips they were very red. They were are very full and the bottom was a bit big but nothing no one could really noticed unless paying close attention. As for the top of his lip it was very sharp but soft like. 

The boy usually kept to himself and people respected that, but he did have a lot of admirers from afar due to his muscles and his height. See he was on the Slytherin quidditch team since his second year, as a beater. So of course his was built to take quite a few hits. His posture was very poor though. He always seemed to be hunching over and had his hands in his pockets. 

That didn’t stop a lot of the girls from other houses including his own admiring him. 

He himself admired the Slytherin beater but never went near him knowing that he didn’t like his kind. He was a Half-blood and the boy had only treated Snape nice in the past out of every other Half-blood around. He gripped Snape a bit more in protective mode. 

He felt Rosiers eyes on them tightly intrigued with interest. 

“So this was where Severus went. I heard a rumor you Gryffindor pricks messed up his head” Rosier said. He felt chills go down his back for how cold the boys voice sounded. 

Lily hesitantly sat down next to Rosier who sneered at her very much like Snape used to do to them ever being around them. 

Snape turned around and looked at who he was looking at and gave a confused look before turning to him with a questioning one. 

“Severus I’m guessing you don’t remember me?” He asked and Snape opened his book and read what Rosier said and turned back to him and gave a sorrowful look. 

“No I don’t I’m sorry” he said messed up since he couldn't hear his own words. That made him feel worse. But sadly in his own opinion it sounded cute. He would never say that to him directly because it would just hurt him more if anything. He can’t seem to pronounce the letters t and any thing to do with an upwards motions of his tough for sound.

He knew for a fact that was not something you should say to someone like that. That kind of problem could cause a lot of trauma and the last thing someone wants to hear with that, is that it’s cute. 

Evan made an intrigued face. he didn’t know Severus couldn’t hear and that, caused him to mess up on his words. He wanted to thrown his arms around Snape and hug him to show Rosier that Snape was his territory and it was going to stay that way. 

“Oh it’s ok, I’m Evan Rosier. A fellow Slytherin you share your dorm with actually” Rosier said holding out his hand. Evans was watching as well intrigued at what everyone was doing. 

He shot Rosier a glare and he noticed this and just smirked slyly. Severus shook his hand after reading what the page had said.

“You wouldn’t mind me asking more about what happened and what you know right?” Rosier asked. That made him mad. That dick didn’t deserve to know what happened to Snape! He wasn’t the one who offered to help when his head of house pulled a group of a few people aside asking to help a disabled student! Fuck him! 

But then again Rosier was a close friend to Snape...and he wasn’t. That thought made his heart clench. His emotions were going everywhere like he was bi-polar. 

Severus had agreed to what Evan was suggesting. “Alright then come and sit next to me and we can talk about it while Evans goes to sit with her fellow idiot.” He insulted and Severus read what he said and made a face. 

“They’re not idiots. But I will sit next to you” Severus said messing up his wording again. 

Evans gave a look for the way he was talking weird and making her move. Oh Muggle god please get this women some help to understand the world doesn’t revolve around her and Prongs harassing her. 

Honestly Evans seemed stuck up maybe when she wasn’t. She might just be insecure. He could observe to see if that was true or not over time. Other wise he was going to ignore her. 

Snape sat down next to Evan and Remus shot him another glare getting into the class when Slughorn came in. Damn...he wanted Snape next to him...so wanted him next to him. He should have protested against that but Rosier had the upper hand in this for fuck's sake.


	10. Chapter 10

Sirius separated from Prongs and walked into the abandoned girls bathroom holding in the urge to full on break down again. He walked over to the sink quickly and turned on the water, splashing his face as his eyes burned. He was gonna start crying again. He had held it in during the whole time he was with the others but... 

He definitely didn’t expect Snape to say those things...even if it wasn’t the Snape he was used to... that honestly just proved that the people around him don’t...don’t ask and don’t really do anything about his problems. 

He didn’t want to make it seem like Prongs was a bad person or his parents where but... why hadn’t they gotten him therapy or help for his problems...? They may have taken away his blades and supervised him when it came to that but why didn’t they do anything about his psychological problems?

Did they not think of it? He was having an undeserving sense of dread. Or at least he thought so. His mind was questioning everything. His heart felt like it would exploded from sadness and streaks of happiness from Snape’s hug. 

Honestly he was just happy he wasn’t having a panic attack and screaming his lungs off. He did feel it coming on though. Damn, he didn’t want one right now! Of course he had to jinx it like that! 

He needed to process what Snape said! His mind was running all over the place. He was panicking about a fucking panic attack!!! How was that normal?!

His breath sped up while his heart raced! His breath kept getting faster and faster! It felt like he couldn’t actually breath when he was breathing! His eyes where blurry and tears where streaming down his face faster than a broom race to the golden snitch in a quidditch game! 

He slowly sank to his knees with his arms up above his head still gripping the sink in front of him. He took a few breaths slowing down his panic attack and decided to hold his breath to stop it. Well of course that didn’t want ttoo work and it just ended up intensifying! 

What was he supposed to think?! What what he supposed to do! No! He wasn’t supposed to have a panic attack! No! No! No no no no no! He was just supposed to clean up his face and thoughts and go to class!

Why won’t it stop?! How are you supposed to stop a panic attack if you can just hold your breath?! This is horrible! Why won’t he calm down! 

The tears formed in his eye and started to fall down his face so he furiously wiped his face taking very sharp repetitive breaths. 

He didn’t like this...why won't it stop?!Hasn’t this been enough torture yet! His panic is torture! It always has been, frankly he panics over his panic. He didn’t know that was possible until it physically happened! 

Every thing was unfair honestly, would it ever be fair? Or was his life supposed to be torture? Would he live as the outcast of society? Would he lose his friends? 

He hoped he wouldn’t, he didn’t want the very few things he had disappear from his grasp... fear installed in him. Great it was worsening. 

———————

James walked into potions class with Sirius and Snape still on his mind. That’s all he could think about. Sirius was in pain and he hadn’t stepped up to truely help him...he should be talking to his friend or at least comforting him more often! It’s horrible that he can’t just be a good person in the way all his fiends needed him to! 

James walked in and took an empty seat nearby Moony but only a few desks in front of him. He didn’t bother looking for Snape and just wanted to get this class over and done with so he could talk to Padfoot... 

He looked up and acted like he was paying attention to Slughorn. Of course he wasn’t. He was thinking of everything he had done...how he had neglected Sirius and his other friends along with being a prick to Severus for no reason. 

He remembered that he once hexed Severu's hair to grow to a length of a woman’s and everytime he would cut it would grow back. That was funny but that kinda added to the point where he started to call Severus princess. He was thinking of the princess with the long hair who was trapped in the tower. 

It was a muggle fairy tale but it still fit the occasion. Then there was the time Sirius hexed Severus him smile for hours on end to the point he started to cry from pain, that one probably went to far. It was funny at the time but not now. 

The only time Remus hexed Severus was when Severus had called one of the girls he had been dating at the time a “mudblood” under his breath. He ended up making her cry and when Moony heard about it he went ballistic with anger and something else he didn’t quite know. 

But after disappearing for an hour Moony came back angry and said he hexed Severus with some type of muting charm or hex. He really should ask what that was so he could use it on someone like Nott to get him to shut up. 

Then there was when he himself hexed Severus by making him shout profanities at random moments throughout the day. He ended up getting like five detentions that day. It was amusing but cruel...he felt guilty about it now. 

Sirius had hexed Severus by making him trip over and over again almost every step he took back in his 3rd year, he remebered that year Severus was a lot sadder and didn’t act like the pompous nerd like normal.

He even distanced himself from Lily that year, Lily seemed to not catch on to the Slytherin wanting to be alone. It must have been the year his mother died...if anything. 

God what was it liked to lose both your parents like that? One gets really sick and dies in front of your eyes while you watch and can’t do anything. And the other dies in a car crash that took away your hearing and made your life a living hell... next you lose your memories and it’s complete shit. 

He had to admire Severus for going through all that in his life. That must be very cruel and horrid to go throuh and then for his bullies to actually like him must be freaky.

Usually when someone goes through trauma from someone they can’t ever create a great trust bond with that person again. Once it’s broken it’s broken forever...that made his heart sink...what has he done! 

He fucked up his only chance with Severus! He fucked up his friendship with Sirius!! He might even lose Moony and Wormtail!!! No! He can’t lose them! He has to creat that bond! He can’t! No! 

He can’t lose Padfoot! He can’t lose Moony either! Especially not Severus! Not his princess! He’s fucked up and he needs to unfuck it up! Is that even a thing? To unfuck up? Man he was off his rocker enough to come up with words that don’t even exist. 

Well anyway he was going to undo his mess slowly piece by piece! He would start with Sirius, and slowly win over Severus as well. How would he do that though... 

With Sirius he would have to slowly talk with him about his traumas over time bit by bit. He knew that much from how his mother had explained him to do it. He could also be slower with words and maybe give him hugs more when in passing. Not when he’s having an attack of memories. 

Without warning those types of things make someone uncomfortable and might cause the panic to worsen. That would be a good start with Sirius, now for Severus. 

What little he knew from Severus is that he’s in a horrible situation at the moment so his personality is going to be rotten. He also has no trust with Severus, hell when he returned to class he tripped him like the dick he was.

He rubbed the back of his neck looking down at his desk and finally pulled out his potions book. He took a deep breath and sighed. He felt a pair of eyes on him coming from his left. He glanced over who was looking at him and it was Aspen Avery. 

A Slytherin Severus usually was seen with in a group along with Harper Mulciber. Honestly who names their little boy Harper? Other then that Aspen was a very...odd bloke. 

Well this odd bloke had very light almost white blond hair that was very straight and long. It was tied back with a black ribbon with silver edging. The blokes face was very evened out and completely symmetrical. His nose was straight and his eyes where very sharp and heavy lidded looking like he was tired. His lips where a very deep red that faded out into a pale look. 

His skin was very pale and very smooth, he didn’t have anything like acne on it or blotches. Over all he wasn’t muscular or too thin like Severus was but he did have a fair share amount of beauty. But once again he is an odd bloke. 

He had once caught Aspen with someone he had hurt previously giving them something as an apology in private. The guy seems to not be that bad of a person and just put on a front. 

Honestly the Slytherin was more like a two sided snake, just instead of them acting good it was them acting bad to cover up the good. He shouldn’t make assumptions but at this point over six years of seeing the Slytherin doing things it was clear. But he still didn’t personally like him, whether he was a decent human being or not. It still didn’t make it right for what he was doing honestly. 

He may have some type of goodness in him but he still gave off evil vibes of a horrid bunny rabbit. 

He glared at Avery as a sign to fuck off and stop staring at him for no reason. The Slytherin rolled his eyes. 

“If you didn’t know Potter we kind of have to make a potion, in case you forgot that is?” Avery said in a bored monotone way that didn’t express much other then an insult towards him. Averys voice was quite light and gentle which pretty much matched the rest of him. 

“Yeah yeah whatever. Why don’t you go get the ingredients then you slimy git” he said back and the blonde rolled his eyes. 

“It’s too much for me to carry by myself, and we have to get the cauldron as well if you weren’t paying attention you moping mop” the slimy blond insulted once again back. At this point it was a bickering battle. He signed and got out of his seat followed by the blond. 

“I’ll get the cauldron you get the ingredients? I’m guess since you have no body strength you can’t lift it” the blond gave a bored stare back at him, emotionless almost. Avery shook his head. 

“Oh ha ha, whatever. Just get the stupid cauldron. I want to start before the class is over-“ the blond complains ending the bickering match for now. But James could tell there was something the blond wasn’t saying. He didn’t know what it was but it had to be something. 

For now he wasn’t gonna play detective on that part but he would keep it in mind for later. 

James walked over and grabbed the cauldron lifting it with two hands. He headed back to the table they shared placing the cauldron on the table with a huge clank! 

Avery rushed over and set the ingredients on the table. He put down a jar of fish eyes that was cold and violently shook his hand as if it where in pain. That was interesting. 

Avery reached over and opened some of the jars setting the up by the cutting area. He put the cauldron on the boiler. It made another clanking sound sadly, that always irritated him. 

He took out his wand and cast a spell to light the fire under the cauldron under Averys instruction. He couldn’t believe he was working with the blond, it was surprising... he worked fast, carefully and evenly. 

He had no idea of how he was noticing all this just from working with him once. He kept noticing little things about Avery though. It was odd... very odd. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was a bit shorter then the other few have been, I wanted to make an announcement for the next chapter. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to have a very sad but also angering scene. With that scene you will see that ab adult who is a full grown man hurting a person who’s disabled by making fun of there disability. 
> 
> I am including that scene because yesterday it happened to me. My art teacher decided to read my personal message on a live video to my entire class a mock that I could not hold a pencil in my hand. 
> 
> Yes I am disabled, some might know that others might not. But that’s why i am able to understand and write what Snape would feel. The difference with my disability is that I have a juvenile Type of arthritis. It’s a disease that causes all my joints to hurt, and it makes my life very difficult. 
> 
> But what I want to say is, if you hear an adult or see a adult make fun of a classmate or someone who’s a child, or even an adult. Please step in and stop it. That kind of thing is traumatizing. 
> 
> Thank you for reading -Mack


	11. Chapter 11

Sirius huddled up near the wall in the abandoned girls restroom. He had his head buried in his knees slowly trying to get his breath under control. Why did it seem like the world would always be dark, even though he had so good in his life?

Why does he feel like that? Why does the work have to make it feel like that? 

He personally wasn’t expecting anyone to walk into the bathroom but...

Yep. It was the same boy, only this time he wasn’t in tears crying over the sink. 

Shit now he looked weak, how was he going to explain this? Oh that was going to be a problem for sure honestly. 

The boy looked more causal, with his tie and robes on. He had his hair down and messy looking like he just woke up. Sirius had to guess they were in the same year? 

Well then he would know him would he not? Oh he didn’t know he was in a horrible state at the moment! 

He tried to hold his breath to make himself quiet but of course that just made his breathing go crazy. He hated that it did that. 

Damn it! Why does the world keep making everything worse! He just wants to be alone and cry! What was causing the muggle god to cause this situation right now? When he was in this state of all things? He’s in a vulnerable state and is barely able to get his breath under control! 

Everything around him seemed like it would hurt him and he just wanted to curl up under a rock and be left for dead by everyone! 

Why is he thinking like that? What good would that do? Wouldn’t everyone just be mad that he did that? He's sorry he thought that! That wasn’t right to think! 

None of it was! He doesn’t have the right to think that! Not after what everyone has done for him. 

He’s sorry.

He’s sorry.

He’s sorry! 

He’s sorry Prongs! He’s sorry for all the trouble he’s caused! Prongs doesn’t deserve a burden like him! He’s been so horrible. He’s wish he never stepped into his life to make it so frustrating! 

He’s sorry Moony... He should have been a lot more mature and not a burden who only caused trouble! He should have never exposed that he knew that Moony was a werewolf and stayed out of his life as well. Maybe it would have made it better if it was just James, Peter and Moony in the Marauders and not him! 

He’s sorry Severus. He has been so horrible, beyond forgiveness. He should have kept his mouth shut! He should have been the person to befriend him instead of being a stupid pestering bully with a stupid crush. 

No he should have just...gotten rid of the problem all together. 

Him. 

He should have gotten rid of himself. 

That would have and will make every thing better! He should have done it that night and not waited and went to James of all people in that state. 

He didn’t realize the boy who was in the bathroom had been trying to get his attention. He looked up to see the boy looking down at with a concerned face, the weird part he was still taller then when when kneeling. 

“Hey... hey.. just follow my lead” the boy said very calmly. He took his hand and put it to his chest where his lungs would be. So he meant breath. 

He slowly followed the boy's lead of breathing in and holding his breath, calmly counting to eight then letting it out and counting to ten, repeating the pattern. It was calming and he shut his eyes focusing on that. 

It was amazing! It was going away holy shit! The only problem was tears were still going down his face. 

He felt a presence next to him and a hand on his face. Then a cloth type material was wiping his tears away. Why was this bloke being so nice to him? He didn’t understand it that was for sure. 

“You good now Black?” The Slytherin boy asked. He opened his eyes a little dumbfounded looking at the boy. He had such pretty features honestly. Not as good as his own but they almost rivaled it. 

“Eh um... umm” he tried to muster words to respond but couldn’t really. 

The Slytherin boy just made a sly face face rolling his eyes just sitting down next to him. 

“Eh.. I.. what exactly is your name?” He asked after five minutes of silence between them. The Slytherin boy beside him sighed and turned his head to look at his. A bit of the boys hair fell in his face only to be pushed back the his hand. 

“Lunar Duvall” he answered and his eyes shot open wide. 

Duvall was a pure-blood name that was mainly Gryffindor and was known for being very open in politics when it came to muggles and squib rights. That was shocking, he didn’t know that one of them was a Slytherin. 

How did he miss a detail like that? Oh it had to be the depression consuming him. 

He had also heard a few rumors about Lunar Duvall though, he never knew which house he was in. But his sister who is the head girl of Gyffindor often said he was a bad person and the disgrace of their family. 

Wait.. maybe. Just maybe. Did Jessica, Lunars sister... was she the cause of him crying in here? He did know for a fact the girl was very mean. Hell he had gone a date with her and regretted it. Merlin he felt bad for him. 

That explains a lot. 

“Oh ok” he finally reasoned to Lunar. 

Lunar seemed awkward and crosses his arms shifting his head to the side. “Wait.. your Slytherin right.. shit we have Potions..” he said finally. 

Lunar looked back at him with a face probably similar to his own. They decided to get up and go to class. 

————————

Remus was focusing on his potion while Slughorn was walking around. Slughorn had a tendency to announce things that shouldn’t be announced. He also seemed to slightly pick on students. Meaning certain students who were at a disadvantage. That was the horrible part... 

He knew something was going to happen with Snape bringing him here... Slughorn had a tendency to be harder on Snape.. just because Snape was a half-blood and didn’t have much to tell that was interesting. Even though that wasn’t true at all, Snape had great skills in potions and so many other subjects. He was top of his class in almost every subject even Transfiguration beating out Prongs in the subject. 

Snapes brains were another reason why he liked the deaf Slytherin so much. It was the fact that even though Severus was short, a half-blood like himself, and a Slytherin outcast, he still managed to be so strong and jump into things head first instead of with hid heart. He admired that. Honestly it was wonderful to see someone so strong like Snape. 

But here’s where it’s going wrong. Here goes Slughorn bullshit of picking on him. 

Slughorn taps on the desk in front of Severus while he’s facing Evan. Clearly he isn’t able to hear Slughorn and the fact that he didn’t know who he even was. 

Slughorn got angry and more frustrated and slammed his fist on the table three times, everyone near by flinched and everyone's eyes in the class were on him. 

“Mr. Snape! Why are you not in uniform or actually working?” He said, he knew by now that Snape couldn’t hear and he should know that he didn’t remember anyyhing... this was horrible. He glanced at Lily who looked surprised, shock and mad. 

He felt rage in his gut and wanted to punch the old man in the face for being a dick. Slughorn got physical after another moment and grabbed Severus shoulder, turning him around violently. At that Remus stood up and he wasn’t the only one. 

Evan Rosier had gripped the old man's wrist, pulling it off a frightened and a surprised Snape. Prongs had rushed over just in time when Severus had back up hitting his chair, almost falling over and hitting his head. Luckily Snape landed on him instead of the ground. 

“What the fuck!!! You of all people should know Professor that Snape is in a bad state and you shouldn’t be treating him like that!” He shouted anger filling his voice. He walked around the desks over to the man glaring at him angrily. James had helped Snape to his feet. 

Snape was confused and frightened with a lot of emotions going though him. He could smell and feel it. 

Jeez the werewolf thing let him do weird things... and it was getting near the full moon sadly. Maybe that’s why everything more heightened and why he just wanted to hug Snape all the time no matter where or what time it was. 

Professor Slughorn had a very angry expression on his face. His heart dropped, but he wasn’t going to back down. 

“Did you seriously just make fun of a disabled student again Horace? What not doing it to me wasn’t enough? Or do you just hate those who can’t exactly be normal and not a frustration?” Aspen Avery spoke up. His eyes widened at that. Well first off he called the professor by his first name which wasn’t common but, it meant that he had no respect for him. That he could clearly tell. 

So it wasn’t just Snape who had some type of problem. Which was surprising, he didn’t except Avery to be one of them. No not them, he meant.. oh he didn’t know how to word that. But clear point was Professor Slughorn had a problem with students. 

The older man seemed to think bullying children was the way to go... how horrid. 

Slughorn seemed to rage at what Avery was asking. Rosier had let go of Slughorn and was now standing intimidatingly next to him. Conveniently in front of Snape and Prongs who had his arms protectively around slytherin. 

Evans was giving Slughorn the same look she gave Snape when he called her a Mud-Blood. That surprised him... he knew she didn’t actually care for Snape and hadn't thought she would care about what the teacher was doing. 

——————— 

James caught Severus in time before he fell to the floor painfully, he didn’t want Severus to have more damage to his head and possibly die... Severus of course was horribly startled from everything. He could tell because he had yet to let go of him once they stood up. 

He could tell he was frightened that was for sure. His heart filled with rage towards the teacher for doing that but he knew Moony would handle it. Along with he supposed Evan Rosier and once again Aspen Avery. 

But when the words “Did you seriously just make fun of a disabled student again Horace? What not doing it to me wasn’t enough? Or do you just hate those who can’t exactly be normal and not a frustration?” Came out of the Slytherin mouth he gaped in shock. 

Mostly everyone in the class was gaping in shock. When he snapped out of it Sirius and Lunar Duvall had walked into the classroom to only stare at a raging Slughorn. 

Sirius's face was stained with tears so that meant he had more of a break down after the letter. He felt guilt fill him again and he gave Padfoot a look of sadness and concern. 

But then Slughorn pulled a huge bomb card out of his pocket into play. 

“Detention the lot of you, that goes for you two as well! And Snape you can have one once you're back in class,” the last part of Slughorn words were said in a mocking tone of a deaf person. That seemed to fill Avery with rage. 

Before he knew it Avery had slapped Slughorn in the face very - and he means very - hard. To the point Slughorn head snapped to the side painfully. Everyone winced at that and awkwardly Harper Mulciber came in late with a slip. 

He just kind of stared at the commotion and said “sorry I’m late professor...” that was clearly not gonna go well. 

“Fuck you! You bastard of an old man! You have tormented me since I was thirteen! You have mocked me when I have been unable to come to class, you have mocked the way I react to touching warm or cold objects knowing full well it fucking hurts! And you have tried to scare me into submission to not speak up about it through intimidation! I fucking hate you! Don’t you dare mock my friend! I won’t let you! You bastard!!” Avery screamed like a fucking banshee. 

Man today was weird. Severus was clinging to his sleeve watching what was going on. He glanced down at him and he was crying like a child. Oh damn that adorable. But it is so wrong that he thinks that. But how can someone be so pretty when they cry? 

He used his sleeve of his free arm to wipe the tears off of Severus face kindly. He made sure to be gentle and calm about it. Like he should have always been in the first place. 

He placed his hand gently on Severus hand that was clinging to his arm. It was the least he could do... 

——————

Severus stared at the hand Potter had on his own and felt weird about it. He didn’t know what to do or what it was supposed to mean. He didn’t mind it though... that was defiantly weird, for the guy who earlier this day had a huge dick aura around him. To now having a very gentle and protective one around him. 

He awkwardly wiped away more tears out of his eyes and glanced around the room with all the silent commotion going on. People where angry? For his sake? 

That honestly didn’t feel normal. He had lost grip of his book though so he let go of Potter's hand and crawled onto the floor under the potions table to grab it. He crawled out the other way coming face to face with a red headed girl gripping her skirt. So he couldn’t see up it...? 

She seemed flushed and he had the same reaction just more horrified at the thought of ever doing that. He crawled out to the side and stood up scraping his back against the wood of the table uncomfortably. He whined at the pain of it and held his back embarrassed. 

He glanced around to see three boys eyes on him. Was it because the noise he just made?! His face burned a brighter red. The boy with scars and brown fluffy hair was looking at him like a chew toy which made him feel queasy. Then Potter was looking at him as you would look at a baby kitten or puppy, but maybe also as how you look at a princess... then the last boy who said that he liked him was giving him a look of “damn that was sexy” oh Merlin. 

But the last one was luckily a glance and not starring like the other 2 boys.

His face was burning and burning and burning! How was this even humanly possible! How was his face burning red like a chilly pepper! 

Why where they all looking at him like that? Wait. Did they all like him? 

That would explain a lot of the things that have happened so far, he already knows Black is fond of him. But with the scar boy it would explain the clinging to his arm when they were walking over here. And with Potter it would explain him catching him and their hands touching the way they did. 

Oh it only made him want to disappear into water vapor to get away from this! It could work, he was burning like a teapot kettle on a stove. 

Damn, he hated this emotion but it also felt nice. It was going to be a long day.


	12. Chapter 12

The commotion continued between the students defending Severus Snape from professor Slughorn’s actions. Slughorn being the guy he was decided to pull the card of “detention the lot of you” for disturbance in the class. 

So that meant, Evan Rosier, Aspen Avery, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, and Lunar Duvall all had detention together. Even tho Severus still wasn’t a student he under Slughorns all might jackassness needed to be punished for being a disturbance. 

Slughorn then included 2 other students to that list latter on in that class. Even tho 1 of whom where just dropping of ingredients to the teacher. Thats was Beverly Bannet. And the last person was lily Evans for asking to use the bathroom at the wrong time. 

Now if any thing that was an abuse to power in Beverlys mind. She being the weirdo she was referred to herself in the 3rd person. It was something she did to kinda tell a story to no one who would listen. She was surprised Slughorn was in fact able to give Severus detention under Dumbledore rules even tho he wasn’t a student at the moment. 

She was actually currently walking to the detention alone wearing her normal muggle cloths. In detention you didn’t need to wear your robes unless you where going into the forbidden forest. 

They where all just being made to clean out an old Abandoned classroom. She being the brilliant little fuck she was had a pair of compacters gloves to use. 

She snuck into the classroom unnoticed and and popped up by James Potter and lily fucking Bitchy Evans. She leaned on the wall tiredly and took out her gloves slipping them on. It looked like they would be moving desk, clearing out an old closet, moving a lot of cauldrons and especially moving cabinets. They would move them out to the hall and put them on carts to move them to the room of requirement. 

At least that’s what Mrs Sprout suggested. And being the trusting teacher she was she left us to the work miraculously. 

“Ok what the fuck did Slughorn say to you both? Cause I’m ready to go and break his spine making him a cripple if he’s been hurting either of you.” Harper Mulciber said. Every ones eyes where on him even Severus’ eyes where. 

Harper Mulciber has dark chocolate smooth skin and nice brown eyes. His hair was shaven down to his skull mainly but it was really well kept and the sides where really really short compared to the top that had a bit more hair there. His face was well structured while being long but pointed and his forehead being a really nice size. 

His nose was very straight while his lips where think on the top but the bottom was a bit more plump. His eyes had a droopy affect to them making him look like he was tired. He was wearing a buttoned up shirt with a sleeveless sweater and slacks with a watch on his wrist. 

He had a talk structure and broad shoulders, he also one of the Slytherin beaters.

Ok wow that sounded overly sexual. Wow. 

“I ask to use the bathroom and I get detention.. man tuney has it easy...” Evans muttered under her breath near her walking over to some of the desks starting to drag one. She sighed and knew that Evans wouldn’t be able to lift it on her own so she walked over and picked up the other side of it. 

Evans wasn’t happy about that or so it seemed but she went along with it any way. Mean while Avery was putting on an extra sweater over his already very fluffy and warm sweater saying it was cold. 

She sighed and set the desk down once Evans had and she walked back inside. The Slytherin boys where still talking with Snape except Duvall who was actually doing his work quietly. 

She knew Duvall a bit more then every one els here, there sort of friends due to situations on certain things. She noticed James Potter was with Sirius Black near one of the giant cabinets talking about it and gesturing to it. 

Oh dear that was going to be a disaster. Duvall seemed to pick up on what they where saying and gestured for them not to do it. So it was another prank, how lovely. 

She glanced around for what other people where doing and she noticed Remus Lupin was clearing out books from cabinets alone. She sighed and shook her head at the fact that no one was helping him. She still needed to help Evans move desks cause god knows those where way to heavy with out magics assistance. 

Avery finally broke away from his group of friends and decided to help Lupin probably because it was one of the easier and slower jobs. She smirked at that thankful that she wouldn’t need to help the Gryffindor perfect. 

She walked over and picked up the other side of the desk Evans was now working on once again. Evans got annoyed and gave her a look then looked down at the desk. 

They picked it up together shuffling out of the room to place it where the put the other one. What exactly where they gonna use this room for or where they just clearing it out? 

Oh she didn’t know nor could she honestly even bring her self to care. When they went back to walk back inside the room Avery came out carrying a stack of books of about 6-7 with a struggle. But luckily he made it to a pile lupin had already started making and successfully by himself. 

When she walked in Rosier and Mulciber where taking out a desk much like they had carrying it out into the hallway past them. Severus was sitting in a chair swinging his feet near the wall. Someone must have told him to sit there somehow. 

When Avery came back inside he walked over to Severus. Severus looked up at him questioningly. Avery did some type of motions with his hands witch seemed to be sign language. That was actually impressive for a pure-blood. 

Sign language is a muggle thing and it’s interesting to see that a wizard from a very pure-blooded family use it. After all they where very racist and needed every one to be like them... she would know. 

She faced there wrath after all from just being a muggle-born. Memory’s of times different people had hurt her drifted into her mind. Each time there was a new scar on her body.. she had plenty to prove it and probably could tell you every story of every one. 

Feeling uncomfortable she pulled her sleeves down more over her arms and adjusted her pants. She cleared her throat walking over to the desk Evans was waiting for her to help with. A tinge of fear and regret went threw her mind and panic flooded her chest like a kid taking a slingshot at a target repeatedly. 

Each tinge hurt and she wanted to run away. Why would she want to run away when nothing threatening was around? No there where threatening things around... 

Her bully was across from her, a bunch of Slytherin where grouping together talking, and a bunch of Gryffindor where being stupid nearby. That was a dangerous situation. But would she need to leave? It was detention tho... but there was no teacher. 

She didn’t have any friends around and knowing Lunar his body would not be able to defend her from a bunch of enemies. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her self down. She needed to calm down. 

Just calm down. 

Right she was ok, she will be ok. 

————————

Remus set the rest of the books aside that where in the cabinet noticing Avery was taking them outside. Must have been the easiest job besides moving all the heavy desks. He decided not to think about that much and pick up about 6 books and carry them out of the classroom to get this part done. 

They all still needed to talk to Dumbledore after detention witch wasn’t going to be fun. He knew Dumbledore didn’t always take things with percussion or serious tone most normal teachers had about things. 

Of course the man was very nice and has done a lot for him for him being a werewolf. But he didn’t do the same for others. Especially Slytherin, Snape was walking proof of that. 

He felt guilty for that, how was it he could be treated so much better just cause of his house? He was also more dangerous after all. He doesn’t have control of his body when the full moon shines bright in the sky. 

Honestly it’s like having a second mind and that you where sharing your body with a furl but smart wolf. Sense it was only a few days away from the full moon his senses have heightened immensely. To the point he could smell certain emotions coming off of people. 

He could tell someone had been panicking ever so slightly but was able to calm them self down. He also felt that someone was in a lot of physical pain he glanced around to see who might be experiencing that. 

His eyes landed on Avery who massaging his arms and hands trying to hide that he was in pain. You could also see how a lot of color had drained from his already very pale face. That must suck to have to deal with. He didn’t know what it was but it seemed to affect his body painfully. 

He could also tell some people where annoyed, happy, and one was on the boarder of being confused to angry. He could guess who was annoyed that being Evans, and Duvall. Maybe also Mulciber and Rosier. 

He kept set the books down and went back and got a few more while Avery got the last few and set them out next to his pile. Avery went back inside and he glanced at the actual books they where taking out of the cabinet. 

They where older art books one basic anatomy and mainly the muggle way of art. That’s interesting, maybe he could ask to have one of the books if they were going to replace them when moving classrooms. 

He also thinks that they should put a copy of it into the library for students who can’t take the class to use. 

Padfoot came out carrying other books about color saturation and shading techniques for a non magical style of drawing. 

“Ya know sense there getting rid of all these books and replacing them, don’t you think they should be putting a few in the library for students who don’t take the class to use?” He asked Padfoot. 

Padfoot looked up at him with a considering face. “That’s not a half bad idea Moony! Always thinking of ways to improve things aren’t you!” Padfoot said cheerfully, he could sense that he wasn’t actaully feeling cheerful tho. 

It wasn’t his place to bring it up right now, he’ll have to pull him aside later. 

He smiled any way tho to let off that he didn’t know that something was off with his friend. 

Prongs came out carrying a ton more books then either of them have just to make some stupid point he was strong. 

“Ya know Peter is lucky he didn’t get detention, this is gonna make me sore for quidditch tomorrow” he said put down the books with a big thunk. 

He smiled and sighed “well of course you are well all have to have this cleared out by 3 hours after curfew unfairly” he said. 

“Fuck Slughorn for being such a dick!” Padfoot said and James agreed. There was a loud screeching sound behind them from someone was pulling out a desk all by them selves. 

They turned around seeing it was Avery who had just gotten it out the door. Rosier came out with an angry expression on his face. Well something was about to go down that was for sure. 

Should they be watching it? No. But they where gonna any way. 

“Aspen! You know you can’t fucking lift this on your own and you should even be attempting to lift a desk at all!” Rosier said anger filling his voice with each word. 

Averys face filled with anger but it wasn’t the same as Rosier’s. Rosier’s anger had concern while Averys had jealousy along with being tired. 

“I’m as strong as you and I can do it as well as you! Stop always trying to make it seem like I can’t do the easiest’s of tasks! If I’m being forced to serve out detention I’m going to do it like every one els!” Avery argued back. 

Rosier sighed and retorted quite quickly. “You aren’t even supposed to be serving detention! You’re supposed to be writing a letter to your parents for fucks sake and that git is making you serve it even tho your body is going to be out of commission for a week!!” Every one went quiet and Avery just made a face of sourness. 

“It’s not like they would even consider that an option and you know it Evan...” Avery said in a very quiet tone. 

“Fine then well fucking make them, and we’ll make Madame Pomfrey step in seeing as she’s the only adult who actually will focus on a fucking medical record for a student” Rosier said back. 

He didn’t know if this was bad or not but his mind drifted of what could happen to Snape if no one would step in for him who’s a staff member. No one really likes Snape due to his rude and evil like personality. 

He was never able to focus on that, he usually focused on how smart he was, and how he would keep to himself. There where a lot of things he liked about him. But he knew it would be a pointless to pursuit. 

After all he was a werewolf, one of the most hated things in the wizarding community along with squibs and other human like beasts. He had the scars to for them to prove he was a werewolf along with the patterns of him being absent every day after the full moon and before it. 

He sighed and went back to watching the bickering. 

“Gentlemen please calm down” came from a very old dry but sweet voice. It was Dumbledore of course and every one turned to look at him. 

Professor McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey, and Slughorn where with him. Well it’s time to get lectured that was for sure. 

————————

Every one was gathered around the front of the detention area in the classroom they where cleaning out. 

“Alright then, who would like to explain” Dumbledore said. Aspen was crossing his arms uncomfortable with Slughorn even being here acting all night and mighty. He never liked the teacher and always tried to avoid his class when ever he could. He would have gotten failing grades even if he went. 

He was practically giving himself a painful hug. He would hold his lovers hand but they weren’t public about it and probably never could be. He glanced at them and how pissed they where, must be about every thing that’s been happening. 

He pulled his sleeves over his hands and made a fist so they wouldn’t go back to there original state. His muscles, bones, and joints hurt. He hated this, he hated it all... 

He pulled up a nearby chair to sit in as the adults and some of the students started talking. He stared at the floor drowning out the noise so he wouldn’t have to relive what everyone seemed to be making him go threw over and over again. 

Slughorn always picked on him by making him always do tasks that would put him out of commission for days. along with having to clear out the cold section of the potions closet witch honestly to god hurt so much he wanted to scream in pain. Then there’s when he gets tripped when he never has good balance, and the times when Slughorn makes him serve normal detentions like this even tho he has limited energy. 

He couldn’t possibly forget the mental trauma the man makes him go threw with his hidden but horrible comments towards things he can and can’t do. Every time he needs to be in the hospital wing he’s given double the work for his absence by the stupid git! 

He’s been mocked for not even being able to open a simple jar with his hands! 

How was that fair? How was it fair an 13 year old boy was given something he couldn’t control and must be mocked for it. It wasn’t fair he could watch Evan play quidditch when he could barely sit out on the bleachers to watch? 

Why couldn’t he just be allowed to have what they have...? What every one has.. he has never and probably will never be treated right among other students or just a natural human being. 

He knew this is what muggle-borns had to face every day with his best friends actions. Merlin it was evil. It was horrid and this was just karma for it. 

After all who wouldn’t wanna be different in every single way. First you end up not being completely straight, then you go and end up being chronically sick, then there’s being forced to be a racist towards every one who isn’t a Pure-Blood who follows the rules... 

God damn it he was only 16... how was he supposed to face to the world as an outcast to everything and everyone?! 

He sighed and frowned deeply ignoring every one around. He somewhat came out of his thought and heard Dumbledore ask what’s been happening to him. 

He looked up for a second then back down. “He’s.. he’s been mocking me... bullying me... and pushing me to my physical limit to the point I have medical flairs for a week straight... he’s also been causing me physical pain by making me touch cold things and has been intimidating me not to speak up... sir..” he said fisting his clothing tighter. 

“Horace Slughorn! YOU ARE THE REASON FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS HES BEEN COMING TO ME IN SO MUCH PAIN HES HAD TO AT SOME POINT’S HAVING TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AT S.T MUNGO’S!? “ Madame Pomfrey lost her temper and yelled so loud it could has bursted any ones eardrums. 

He covered his ears looking at the ground. Once the yelling was done he looked to see slughorns response. 

“No he’s a lier! Poppy, I’ve never laid a hand on a student nor mocked them ever. I would never do that! That is cruel and sounds horrific, that boy has been known to be cruel and lie about things he’s done to his fellow students. He’s lying right now.” Slughorn responded. 

Panic filled him, was he wrong? Was he just messing this up? Should he have kept his mouth shut? Why couldn’t he just own up to what he did? 

“Oh bullshit! Your the lier here! He wouldn’t lie about something like this! Don’t you dare try and blame the victims of your actions to try and get away with your bullshit like some filthy rich and high up muggle with power. You have no right” Evan snapped reaching down holding out his hand for support for him. 

He smiled and took it with a firm but soft grip that said “thank you”. He looked at Evan who had softness in his eyes towards him, also protection. It felt comforting and it was just what he needed. 

“Horace Slughorn.. you are picking on a student. A 16 year old boy, and you are over the age of 50. You should be apologizing instead of excusing yourself or lying. It’s not only unprofessional but it’s also cowardly and disgusting to even think about. Apologize.” The head of Gryffindor house said. 

He tightened his grip waiting to hear what would go down next. He brought his sleeve to his mouth and pulled his knees up onto the chair still holding Evans hand out of sight from every one. What ever was going to be said wasn’t going to be enough. It would never be enough.. the pain would never leave and the memory’s will always have changed his perception upon life. 

No matter what Slughorn would do, that trust he had in his first year was gone, that realignment upon his head of house wouldn’t exist, and those emotions of joy and wonder upon the world would never return. They where long dead to him. 

He trusted barely anyone and would never have the energy to... not again. His perspective on live was dying because of people’s little paper cuts to his person. 

If nothing was done and Slughorn wasn’t removed his life would get worse and worse... 

“I didn’t physically harm nor mentally harm him in any way, he is a child who has a ridiculous imagination. His bloody pain might as well be one as well” slug horn said. He felt his whole body tighten. Fake? He just called the torment he went threw fake... the fact that his body was fucked up was because his mind? Really he just called it an illusion like some crazy mental illness... 

He felt Evans grip on his hand tighten slightly but not to the point it would hurt him. He felt frustrated, and done with this teacher. He didn’t have energy nor time to deal with him. 

“Then why was he here serving detention Horace?” Madame Pomfrey asked coldly. 

“Yes boy why are you here, why weren’t you writing your letter? Did you blow it off” Slughorn asked trying to intimidating him. 

“Excuse my language but, Fuck you! You gave me and black detention for walking into class late, even tho I gave you a valid reason as to why. 

What you did with that was you shoved it up your ass and being the asshole you are you decided to give us detention against the guild lines of this school. Cause that’s just who you are isn’t it?! 

Your just and asshole who picks on kids! Also if you wand proof you can have access to my memory’s for the day.” Lunar Duvall spoke up, he was a fellow classmate he didn’t quite know. 

“Horace apologize to all these students, then I want you to write that apology and sent it to them and there parents. We will hold a meeting with each child’s parents and what ever they all agree on is what we’ll do. Until then you are to give all these students passing grades and you will now have an aid in your class when you teach or are around any student. 

You are going to step down as head of house and will move you bedroom out of the dungeons, and I will be taking this up with the ministry and there head bored of the school.” Albus Dumbledore said actually defending them for once. 

“As for Mr Snape he will have dinner and return to St. mungos to go over a few medical exams and what his trusted healer wishes to do for him. You are all excused from this detention.” Dumbledore said walking out of the room with Slughorn following him. 

“I’ll come and retrieve you in an hour Severus. I suggest you all go rest, and you may stop by the Hospital wing to do so” McGonagall suggested before getting a nod from Snape. She left the room shortly after and Madame Pomfrey had one more thing to say. 

“I’m so sorry for that bigot of a man to be doing such a thing to children. Especially over a medical problem, if nothing happens with the ministry I’ll take it into my hands and file a special complaint that will go threw.” She said and every one nodded. 

“Thank you Madame Pomfrey.” Remus Lupin said. He ruffled his curly hair a bit with his scared hand and smiled softly at the healer who nodded back before leaving the room. 

He gave Evans hand a squeeze intertwining there fingers. It felt very comfortable. 

—————————

Severus was leaning on a desk of a classroom, he had been pulled aside by black who wanted to talk to him. He wasn’t worried what he would do because he knew what would happen if he got hurt. The boy also seemed to not want to hurt him. 

Black was pacing in his steps back and forth thinking of what to say to him. He had his book open for when he started talking. 

The words on the page started to appear. 

“Snape, I’m sorry. I should have put it in words earlier but I didn’t know.. how and I understand even more then I did before.. I didn’t realize that Slughorn um would treat you like that. Oh honestly I’m sorry for making you lose your memory’s as well... I’m such a git- Sirius black” it read in the book. 

He glanced up at the boy who was now standing in front of him. He gave a slightly sorrowful look. 

“I’s ok, a leas while I don’t have them. I don’t know how I’ll react then tho.” He said calmly leaning further onto the desk. Black frowned deeply and looked down. 

He looked down at the book to see what’s been said. “No it’s not ok! I’ve done nothing but made you suffer that isn’t ok! I’ve been such a fuck up when it comes to every thing!-Sirius Black.” He swallowed and took a deep breath. 

“I can’t remember any of that right now, so it is for now. And I don’t think your a fuck up, you just seem to have a very harsh life. Your really different from your family in many ways. They hurt you so your mental state isn’t right. I’m not saying your crazy, I’m saying you have trauma. 

I’m sure I do have trauma that I haven’t remembered yet. I’ve apparently watched both my parents die while I could do nothing. So I probably would be able to understand being violent or not knowing how to treat someone” he said thinking on the fact that McGonagall had said that they both died in front of him. 

He looked down at the book as more words appeared on the page it read “but I like you and I don’t have the right to like you, and your not you... -Sirius black” he took a deep breath looking back up at him. 

He was still looking down and was probably crying do to the movement of his shoulders. He reached his hand down and tipped his chin up. Sure enough he was crying, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

He used his thumb to wipe a teach from his left eyes before it could fall all the way. 

“Would you like another hug?” He asked remembering the one he gave him earlier in the day. He got a slight nod so he went and hugged black. 

Black had his head completely buried in his right shoulder while his hands tightly gripped onto his red jacket. 

After a good while of hugging he pulled back ever so slightly so he could see Blacks face. They where quite close and blacks lips parted slightly. The tears had stopped falling from blacks eyes but his eyes where stuck on his lips for some reason. 

Before he knew it he pressed his lips to Blacks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So long chapter today yay! I got this done relatively quickly for amount of writing it is. Also improvement with Sirius and Severus but also drama coming up soon ooooo


	13. Chapter 13

“Ya know for once I don’t mind having a bunch of Gryffindorks and a Hufflepuff help us with taking down that dick for brains!” Mulciber said with a huge smile of relief on his face. Everyone started to get up and leave together in groups, leaving just him, Evan and Harper. He smiled slightly looking up at Mulciber whose eyes trailed onto his arm to his hand that was holding Evan's. His smile widened and then his face twisted into a look of fear. Oh no. Here it comes. 

“Good for you two for finally being just that bit open about your thing” Harper said and his face filled with shock and embarrassment. So he knew?! Merlin he was gonna tease them about it too...fuck... 

If anyone didn’t know, Harper is the type of friend who’s close and friendly while being really loud in the friend group. He’s a bit stupid but smart. Aspen felt Evan's finger stroke over his own a few times and he glanced up to look at him. 

“Well Harper, I didn’t think you would notice it to be honesty. We tried to keep it from everyone.” Evan said with a smirk. He put his legs down onto the ground before trying to stand up but failing horribly. On most days he had horrible balance. 

Luckily Evan grabbed him around the waist and held him up. “You need to rest, come on let’s take you to the hospital wing love” Evan said. 

“I can just go back to the dorm and sleep, I should be okay” Aspen tried to tell Evan calmly. He was tired and didn’t feel like sleeping in the very uncomfortable beds they had in the hospital wing. 

He felt like he was going to collapse at that very moment tho. He probably only had enough energy to get to the hallway on his own before his knees gave out. 

“Can you levitate me or something...? I’m not gonna make it out the door...” he said. 

“Okay sit down for a bit and take a breath and then we’ll go alright?” Evan gently asked him sweetly. Aspen nodded before sitting down again. 

After a few minutes Evan decided to carry him on his back. Evan held him up under his legs, while he wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. 

“Why aren’t you just levitating him Evan?” Harper asked looking at them with a smug look on his face. Oh Jesus straight people were weird. It’s like he was rooting for their relationship, always calling them cute together and wanting to know what happened all the time with their dates. Everything except the spicy stuff. 

Because they did have there spicy times together and oh god were they perfect. But usually during that time his body didn’t last long due to his energy running out. He would normally have to sleep after having sex with Evan but Evan was fine with that and just called it extra cuddle time. 

God this man should have been a Hufflepuff for the kinky, fluffy, and heartfelt things he would say to him. They might be in the closet but he sure did get a lot of kinky notes in class from Evan usually passed to him through Harper. Harper being the weird straight friend he was most likely very happy with doing that.

He says it a muggle thing he does, he calls it shipping. That just doesn't sound natural. He didn’t know what shipping fully was because he doesn’t have the courage to want to ask what it is. That’s probably a good sign as to why he shouldn’t ask. 

He clung to Evan getting more comfortable with his lover bringing himself a lot closer to the boy. He rested his head on his arm feeling relaxed. 

As Evan carried him back to the dorm, he didn’t pay attention to everyone's eyes on them and the little whispers that came from the girls and a guy or two. 

They got to the dorm and Evan have the password to the door. Evan walked into the calm and normally quiet common room where the fire was warming the chilly cold room. Evan carried him up the stairs to the boys dorm. Then down the corridor to they’re dorm. Evan walked inside over to his bed.

Evan shifted him around and kid him onto the cold bed witch made him jump and curl up. 

“How are you feeling?” Evan asked gently standing up shifting him more so he was under his covers and spelled his shoes and uncomfortable clothing off. Of course it was switched with comfortable night robing pants and his shift to a soft sleeping jumper he had. 

“Mmmm-cold and every thing hurts... it feel like I got hit with a wild Bludger” he complained curling up more to make his own heat. He wanted to cuddle Evan but he didn’t want to be a bother. 

Oh fuck it he was gonna be a needy child who wanted attention! 

He reached up and pulled Evan into a soft kiss enjoying his very hot and warm lips that burned his mouth in a nice melting way. Evan shifted them so that they were both on the bed lying down facing each other. Their limbs were tangled up together. Merlin did they fit perfectly together, to the point that it was sexy how they were so good for one another. 

Okay, yep he had to admit he was horny now, god damn teenage emotions and the weird things they do to people. He might be in pain and tired but didn’t mean he couldn’t have a go at it. Of course it had to be slow and gentle for him to be okay after wards. 

He pulled away from Evan for a moment taking a deep breath in having his eyes flutter shut with a bit of a pant in his breath. He felt Evan put an arm around his waist pulling him closer. Evans leg shifted between his thy’s shifting against his clothed prick. 

Shit! How was someone usually so brooding able to turn into this cuddly sexy heaven of a man. A soft moan broke from his lips when Evan moved his leg up. 

Evan kissed him again slowly and softly like when you dab a cut with a warm cloth just more smooth. He enjoyed the feeling of it and moved even closer for more greedily. Evan of course was happy to give more and deepened the kiss slowly moving his tough into his mouth. 

He went along with it and tiredly kept up with Evans movements that where slow and soft as always. He was enjoying this, he would never confess it out loud to any one of course cause people judge things like that. But he was enjoying it, and he deserved it.

“Do you want to go any further?” Evan asked once he broke they’re deep and warming kiss. 

“Fuck-yes I do.” He said moaning again and Evan replaced his leg with his hand rubbing his crotch slowly but with enough pressure that it was fucking amazing. 

“Mmmgh-oh Merlin” he moaned grinding his hips against Evans hand and Evan pulled his hand away much to his protest. 

“Take it slow, let me do most of the work so you don’t push yourself more love” Evan said shifting them so Evan was practically straddling his hips but not sitting on him, barely even touching him at that. Evan leaned down and placed his hands at the hem of his jumper. 

Evan gently pushed it up with his hand and started to trace his chest gently, somewhat like a feather and it felt nice. He moaned as raven hands traced over his nipple and started to play with it. 

“Let me know if you need a break love” he said kissing his neck making sure not to leave any hickeys. “Ah-will-do-ahhh” he moaned and Evans hand traced down to his waste band of his pants. His lover yanked them down smoothly down to his ankles and then off him. Next Evan took of his undergarments freeing his hard prick. 

Evan lightly grabbed his dick in his hand making him take a sharp breath. 

“You wanna top or bottom?” Evan asked with his breath coming out in pants and he shifted his hand that was on his dick. Evan sat up and ripped his shift off his head and then unbuckled his belt. 

Soon enough he ripped it off and tossed it to the side undoing his pants. “Mmm-I’ll bottom” he moaned gasping as his lover moved his thumb over the head of his red dick. Evan nodded in response groaning as his hard long, thick pinkish red dick came out of his pants. It peaked out of the waste band of his boxers. 

“Do you want a spell or the muggle way?” Evan asked referring to the lubrication process. He decided the spell would be easier. 

“Spell” he moaned as Evan pumped his dick up and down slow but hard causing heat to pool to his stomach and his dick to leak a bit of pre-cum. 

“Lubricus” Evan cast pointing his grey color’d wand at his ass causing wet oily warm lube to speed on the inside and lean on the outside. Merlin that on its own made his stomach feel full. “Proten” Evan cast a second spell stretching his inside making his Yelp in pleasure. 

Evan cast a lubricant spell on his dick along with a protection spell that was basically the magic version of a condom. 

Evan bent down and kissed him gently while he positioned himself between Aspen's legs, gently lifting them onto his hips. He lifted his waist into his lips so he was at a slight angle. Evan decided to check if his ass actually stretched by sticking his finger into him and he was startled at the sudden intrusion but it slowly faded into pleasure. That caused his cock to grow to full harness as Evan's fingers pressed into his prostrate. 

“Oh fuck! Ha-“ Aspen moaned loudly, and Evan quickly cast a silencing charm on the room so any noise made wouldn’t leave it. He also cast a spell that caused the curtains on the bed to close, giving them a more intimate moment between them. 

“I’m gonna slowly to push in love, hit the bed if you can’t speak and want me to slow down or stop.” Evan said lining himself up with his hole and he nodded agreeing with a hum in his throat. 

Evan pushed his tip in leaning back slightly keeping his hands on aspens hips with a soft grip as to not hurt him. 

Evan traced circles into his hips with his thumbs and it was comforting. He pushed in another inch slowly taking a minute for him to get used to it. He didn’t care if he was used to it or not, he was moaning like crazy. 

Evan finally pushed in all the way and he was going crazy with pleasure. “Oh fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck” each word he moaned was faster and faster. Evan slowly started to move in him slowly barely even taking his cock out of him. 

His body may ache and he was in a lot of pain but pleasure was still pleasure and he would probably just go to sleep after this. Evan groaned and pulled him closer before slowly picking up his pace. 

Damn this sexy man had control of his horny actions as to not hurt him. That was impressive, unlike him. If he had the chance to get off with Evan he was gonna get off with Evan. 

“Mmmm-Merlin your tight love. You are just perfect” Evan muttered as a complement and a horny thought that slipped out of the quiet man. 

He leaned up and kissed him pulling him down more making the kiss as hot as the first one was. A dark flush was spread across his face almost as if he had a fever from all this fucking. Not that he was complaining though, it was that nice hot and warm feeling that just brightened up everything. That you could only get from another human being who has a lot of protection in them. 

Evan sped up his pace and the slapping of their skin was only for them to hear. Evan moved one of his hands from Aspen's hips to his prick. He started to move his hand up and down with the perfect amount of pressure and speed for him. This time they where longer and even slower strokes. every time he got to the head of his dick the thrusting of Evans dick would hit his prostrate making him squirm and moan nicely. 

“Mmm-e....Evan-fuck—I—c-cumm” he said before releasing his hot, slimy and stick white cum onto his stomach in hot bursts of pleasure. Not a few minutes later Evan came but only after pulling out of him. 

His breath was sharp and tight with his panting. Evan grabbed his wand and cast a cleaning spell on the both of them so they didn’t have to shower later. Evan laid down next to him before shifting them once again so he was laying on top of Evans chest. He was fine with that, Evan was warm and he wanted to feel warm. He reached for his wand casting a clothing spell for both they’re boxers and his pants to go back on. 

He knew for a fact Evan slept better in his boxers, and god damn it was quite sexy of him. Evan wrapped his arms around his waist and he shifted so his upper half was on Evan and not his lower half. It was not comfy that way and made cuddling a lot better. 

“Every time we do that it never gets old and you get sexier every time” Evan says taking slow panting breaths. He looked up at him and smiled slightly. 

“And you seem to fuck like an angel every time” he complemented back stroking Evans buff chest. Man if he got any more muscular his pecks could be like a women’s almost. He laughed slightly at that thought and Evan looked down at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s nothing” he said snuggling more into Evan who just sighed and rolled his eyes and got into a protective like position and shut his eyes. 

He did the same not to long after. 

———————-

Sirius’s eyes widened as Snape’s lips met his. Snape’s lips were so soft and the kiss was gentle. Not rough like he always thought it would be. Might be the fact that it was an emotional moment and not just a greedy sex moment. 

He let his eyes drift shut and he leaned into the kiss. Snape started to move his lips so he followed in a slow rhythm enjoying the warmth trying not to get to greedy with it. Even though he knew it would most likely never happen again like this. 

Snape wrapped his hands around his waist in a gentle movement. He wasn’t quite sure what to do so he kept his arms where they were. He only shifted them slightly to make the position they where in more comfortable for them. 

He felt Snape pull away slightly to his protest. “Are you alright now Sirius?” Snape asked. But before he could respond he felt someone grab the collar of his shirt and pull him away from Snape out of their hug. It was so fast he didn’t see who did it.

He looked to see that Prongs had been the one to pull him away. Once again before he said anything he felt pain on his cheek and his head violently snapped to the side. 

“What in the hell are you doing Sirius!” James yelled before letting go of his shirt letting him fall to the floor flat on his ass. He was shocked, why did Prongs just punched him? Did he mess up by kissing Snape when he didn’t have his memories? Was that it? 

“Stay away from him! Why would you kiss him if you know he doesn’t even like you?!” Prongs said. He felt emotions pouring into his mind and chest. What did that mean, what did he mean by stay away from him...was it just some type of way of saying your a dangerous prick?

Prongs was right though...he was right about him being dangerous, and the fact that Snape didn’t like him. That was just a pity kiss to make him shut up and stop crying. Was he that annoying when he cried? 

Right it was annoying, weak, and selfish when he cries...he should just be quiet. He should just be quiet and shut up, maybe that would spare a lot of Prongs and every ones else’s time with him. 

These types of thoughts always hit when something like this happens. They always hit when someone’s mad at him and he didn’t know what he did wrong or even if it wasn’t. He felt his chest tighten like a air filled muggle metal balloon that didn’t make any sense to make. He just held his breath and heard James say insults or something along lines of “that was messed up.” 

He saw Snape grab James arm keeping him from physically harming him again. He looked up surprised as much as James was at the fact that he was stopping him. 

He deserved this didn’t he? First he kissed a guy, then it was the person he bullied for four or five years straight, and the fact that he’s the cause for the memory loss of him. What kind of prick gets to walk around with those kinds of titles. Freely getting to be in love with such a great person compared to himself. His chest tightened more then he ever thought it would. 

Did that make him a horrible person? Or misunderstood like Snape had said he was and that he needed help? 

“Stop! Yourre hur’ting him!” Snape said with his words messing up in a quirky way. He was an idiot cause he just sat there on the ground and watched stuff unfold between them. 

“Of shut up Snivellus-Petrificus Totalus” James casted onto Snape and Snape fell to the ground with his body frozen completely. 

He looked up at James in shock and instantly got up to check on the Slytherin as james undid the spell on him. 

——————- 

Severus was surprised at the motion and fell to the ground perfectly straight frozen in place. Things flashed into his mind, things he didn’t know or who or what they where or are. 

Then it hit him, literally, it was some of his memory’s. 

Not all, but very few, due to the fact that one of them he was standing in a mirror. 

A memory of a man and a women playing music on a muggle radio appearing in his mind. The women was wearing a long grey old dress, that surprisingly fit her skin tightly. The sleeves on it just about reached to her elbows while the neck peace completely covered her neck. 

The women over all has a very nice frame and her hair was long and very dark black. It fell to her waste and it was well kept in the best way it probably could have been. His face had a similar structure to hers but she was beautiful compared to him. Every thing but the fact that she looked very sick, pale and in pain. 

He felt bad for her, he didn’t know why she looked to be in so much pain and so sickly. If his life was on the line he would be able to tell you. Sense she looked like him maybe she was his mother or aunt. He didn’t know. 

But the man she was with had black short cut hair, broad shoulder that faded into a very thin waste but out again into long legs. the man was also very-very tall and would skyrocket over him if he could. The man was wearing a buttoned up blue shift that was older and tattered but kept best it could it seemed. It was unbuttoned near the top of his shift for about 2 or 3 buttons or so and the mans sleeves where rolled up to his mid forearm. 

The shift itself was tucked into working slacks that where long and covered the mans long legs up until the bottom shin where it just didn’t seem to reach the very end. They where held up by suspenders that where a dark grey similar to the pants color. The man and women where both wearing simple shoes. The man with work boots and the women with flats that where very nice on her. 

The mans face was sculpted to be not that handsome, he had a hooked nose like him but it was straighter than his and the mans eyes where very handsome and had a deep black in them. T by e mans face was pointed slightly and his jaw was sharp. His hair looked very fluffy like clouds to him. 

The man had his arm around the women’s waste and swung her around in a circle while her hands where on his neck. They where dancing to the music happily. It was such a pretty sight. They must really love each other or have a really strong bond. 

The next memory that comes into your head is of a girl with brownish blond hair that almost looked red glaring at you. Her hair was tied up in a pony tail very nicely.  
She was wearing a muggle dress with short sleeves and a buttoned up collar. The dress was a pinkish purple color that matched her quite well, and the waistband fit her nicely around the waste. Her figure was nice and it was filled out. 

He glanced to the side in the memory as saw the girl with red hair from the detention walking up angrily grabbing the girls arm. “Tuney let’s stay away from Snape, even if it’s to insult him” the girl said, her voice.. he could actually hear it. 

Her voice was... nice and it felt familiar,but it had a feeling of regret with it. He didn’t know if he was crying or not but he figured he was. The memory continued to play out as the girl with red hair pulled the other one in the purple-pink dress away. 

A few other images went into his head, one in particular stood out. 

He was handing upside down.. using magic.. trying to free himself, kicking relentlessly and just over all trying to free himself. From what he heard and saw the boy who was holding him there was Potter, and his voice was.. very deep for a boy his age and he had a mocking tone to his voice. 

“Well lady’s a gentlemen who wants to see me take of poor snivellus’ trousers” Potter asked in a mocking tone. He felt disgust fill him, dread, fear, and he just felt vulnerable all together. Before he knew it his pants where stripped off and the memory ended. 

Why would.. why did he do that? He didn’t think the bullying would be that bad, but no he was wrong.. they humiliated him-utterly humiliated him infront of every one. 

If that happened what els did they do to him? What have they done to him... he opened his eyes to see Black was checking on him with Potter as well. Disgust and a thousand other emotions filled him. He sat up and wiped his face. 

“Your a disgusting human being... what els did you do to me... what did you enjoy taking of my trousers in front of every one or did you do it for some sick joke.” He said staring at his lap wiping more tears off his face. 

“Do you know how violating that is?! The number of things you can do to someone you decide taking of there clothing exposing a private area is the best way to humiliate them?!! What the the fuck is wrong with you!” He said bringing his hands to his eyes. He clenched his teeth and started to cry more. 

He didn’t bother to look at them he just sat there, crying. He was probably whining about it and no one dared to touch him. He didn’t know if they left or what. He could tell they where his memory’s due to the detail and certain faded out parts of them. He didn’t know who those people were... not all of them any way. 

He should just go back with the nice lady to the hospital already. 

So that’s what he did, he got up went and grabbed his book and walked to find the nice pretty lady. 

——————


	14. Chapter 14

It had been four days since Snape had visited Hogwarts trying to recover his memories. None of the Marauders had talked to each other since then. James, temper completely went out of wack when he found Severus kissing Sirius, while Remus just stood at the door watching and frozen in shock and horror. He probably had felt empty inside from that. 

No one could tell. Sirius was trying to make it up to James even though he shouldn’t be the one apologizing and James was ignoring him, always saying he needed space and that it would take time. Due to that Sirius’s anxiety had become even worse and he hadn’t been attending class for the past four days. 

There was also the fact that he spent a lot of time alone and would often go to the bathroom in the middle of the night for a few hours. Of course he was just really crying and thinking to himself. He found the bathroom more safe then his own dorm room to let out the ray of his emotions. 

You could probably figure out what was happening with him if you plaid close enough attention to his stance, clothing, and actions. But of course no one was, for the first time in along time Sirius felt alone and felt like the world was done with him. If this kept going on it probably would be. 

The boy would probably just accept that fate if it was thrown at him as a choice. He didn’t want to give up, so he probably wouldn’t. It just felt like it was something nagging at him when things go down. Always when something goes wrong and the world seems to turn darker. It nags and nags at him. Of course he learned not to actually act on it for his own sake and others. It was just painfully strong and it was attached to him like a leach. 

It would seem scary to people, that was sure. It was scary to him as well, he didn’t know if there was anything beyond being a ghost or not. Now that brings up something in his head he really ought to consider. He didn’t know how it popped up, just that it did. How dangerous was he to himself? He knew if he stayed strong enough to not to harm himself or actually go through with it, it would be he would be okay. 

The mental damage he had forced upon himself was severe. He needed help, so Snape was right. But where was he supposed to get it? Should he ask Mrs. Potter? Or did he not have the right to because James was mad at him? 

He decided it would be the best of options just to go ahead and write her a letter anyway... and he should also let her know James and him are in a fight over a person. Maybe she could give him more of an understanding of it if he asked for it. It might be weak to some people but it didn’t make it any less true. 

Asking for help was probably the most difficult thing he could do. He’d always had problems with it, who wouldn’t honestly. When you,re supposed to be seen as a big, strong Gryffindor, you should be solving problems on your own as some people would put it. Wouldn’t it just be better to allow kids to develop their own personality instead of sorting them into houses with people who have the same type as it? 

That’s what he’s starting to think that is. Maybe this was a good mind set, and it could teach him things. He would need to understand other people instead of just saying that they're this or they’re that. Especially when you barely know them. You should be giving someone a chance instead of just making it seem like they were a horrible human being like he had with literally all the Slytherin students. 

The only person he should really be judging like that is Gilderoy fucking Lockhart who’s a complete idiot, or at least that's what he heard from the students who had to deal with him during his time as a student. Even the teachers will still use him as a personal example of someone to avoid and not to become. 

So as long as he can start thinking better about others and thinking about how they can be fair he might just succeed with this whole growing and getting better thing. He was honestly happy that he could decide that for himself. It made him feel that much better then others who fucking live by that standard of judgement. 

Merlin he felt like he might have been living by his family’s rules, just on the opposite side of it. Oh holy butterbeer he was! Oh now he really needed to change. 

Alright now he has a good goal he just needs to focus on it. 

And now that Snape somewhat had his memories back maybe if he saw him again before he had them back he could give off just a better impression. He would need to be a lot kinder and a lot more controlled. He should have been from the start but he really needs to try and do now. That is what he needs to promise to himself and without Snape knowing. 

That might help with setting the goal and the whole being better person kinda thing. He could be strong and kind if he just worked to be. He’s been such a dick to people with his pranks...they’re basically bullying... well on the line of it any way. It depended on the people he really did it to and maybe he can work his way up to apologizing. 

Maybe he should try meditating to control his emotions better and be calmer. He’ll have to look into it later. For now he needed to write that letter to Mrs. Potter. 

He walked into his dorm room and over to his drawer where he kept certain supplies like muggle quills and such. He grabbed them and put them in his bag heading to the library to write the letter. 

He walked down the magical staircase to the library calmly and kept his distance from everyone. He didn’t want to interact with any one at the moment, it would be best for him just to fix himself up then worry about everyone else and their problems unless it was Moony. 

Moony has been distant but he didn’t know if Moony didn’t want to be involved with the fight or he was on James side. Maybe he... maybe...... oh fuck if he did that would explain a lot. Their actions had similarities when it came to Snape recently. Remus was never one to stick up for Snape and him doing it out of no were like that would explain it. 

Could he ask him? Or should he write him a letter since he was already going to write one to Mrs. Potter? He might as well! 

————————

With Remus Lupin it was the fact that he now had more than one rival for the Slytherin's attention. He only thought Evan Rosier was after Snape but oh was he wrong. His own best friends where as well, and the fact that Snape was kissing Sirius of all people blew his mind and shocked him and hurt him to his core. Was not being a nice person and not doing horrible things to someone not enough to not be last pick? But then again Snape had no memories of him. Maybe it was a pity kiss for Sirius or Sirius kissed him. He didn’t know. 

But he knew his friends inside and out and how they might pursue someone, he had to worry about Rosier trying to take snape. For now he could just be away from his friend. A break is sometimes a good thing right? He hoped so. 

How come he had such a bad feeling about Rosier? Was it a rage of jealousy he might be blind over? Or was it the fact that he was never able to get even an inch close to Snape? Oh dear why must they resort to questions all the time about things people don’t know. He can’t just leave it alone... even though he wants to. 

He feels broken and tired and sad... he just wants to stay in bed for hours on end honestly. Maybe he could try keeping an eye on Rosier or something, would that do any good? Why is he so paranoid... 

Maybe it was because the full moon was tonight.. did werewolves have a weird mating jealousy thing? He hoped not. That would be completely and utterly horrific. 

He sighed and paced around his empty dorm room. He fidgeted, clenching his pajama pants that he had yet to change out of for the day. He was taking the day off from class to rest until the full moon started, he hoped it would go easier even though he knew it wouldn’t. He just needed some type of closer or something. He decided to go to the bathroom and brush out his hair one more time and see if he could change the bandages on his wound from the last full moon that was still pretty bad. 

He walked out of the dorm with his slippers on to the nearby bathroom. Of course it was stupidly outside the actual dorm , man why couldn’t they install it inside the dorm to make it easier to use? 

He walked into the bathroom over to the mirror, tiredly pulling out his hairbrush that he stuffed into his pocket. He slowly started to brush through his messy curly hair. It was knotted due to his hand running through it. 

He heard the door creak open and he glanced at the door to see Avery walk in looking like death. He looked similar to him almost and it was the same thing affecting them. But he doubted it, Avery isn’t a Werewolf he’s just a boy who’s sick with some illness. 

He didn’t know why he was in Gryffindor tower and in the boy's dorm bathroom but he wasn’t going to push it. Avery walk up to the sink that was two down from his and leaned onto it. He stared at him confused as to why he would be in here. He wanted to ask but he knew the Slytherin would get defensive and blow it off. 

“Will you please stop staring at me?!” Avery said making eye contact with him trying to keep himself upright. He put his brush down on the sink and kept eye contact with him. 

“Uh-sorry Avery, you just look unwell and I was worried. But I’ll keep that to myself” he said looking down at his own sink. 

“You don’t look much better Gryffindork.” Avery retorted hostilely. 

“Guess it’s just a natural sick day for both of us?” He tried to joke only to get a sign that Avery seemed uncomfortable. He sighed and decided to splash some water in his face. 

After he looked up Avery was fixing his tie. He tucked it under and then slid the back into the right position, adjusting it so it looked better. He made a awkward face. For sure this was awkward. 

An idea popped into his head. Wasn’t Avery friends with both Evan Rosier and Snape? He could use that to keep an eye on them couldn’t he? Hmm it was definitely worth a try. 

“Hey Avery, I need to ask you something” he said bluntly and Avery looked at him with distrust. “Fine ask away so I may leave quicker” Avery said leaning on the sink because his body wasn’t doing well at all. 

“Do you know if Rosier is pursuing Snape? Like in a sexual way...?” He asked awkwardly and a few different emotions flashed through averys eyes. There was definitely pain, guilt, and maybe wanting to hide something. 

“No Evan is not going after Severus, he isn’t like that” Avery says before leaving off in a rush of anger. 

That was awkward - very awkward. Did he trigger something to do with Avery? He couldn’t really tell you if you asked him.  
He walked out of the bathroom back to his dorm probably to study, relax and maybe sleep some more even though he already had slept a few hours earlier. 

————————-

Beverly was in the dinning hall for lunch eating her regular meal of mash potatoes, a bit of chicken, rice, and of course orange juice cause fuck pumpkin juice that shit is nasty. She mainly focused on her food not really focusing on her drink. 

She glanced up looking at the Gryffindor table where some of her bullies sat that weren’t in her own house. There were four of them sitting together, or well three out of the bunch where considered mean girls to her. Lily Evans, Dorcas Meadowes, and Marlene McKinnon. Alice Fortescue was also sitting with them but she never hurt her. 

Meadowes was sitting next to Evans, the girl had light chocolate skin that was lighter then Harper Mulcibers skin by a long shot. She had a nice rounded face that pointed near the end by her chin. Her eyes were oval shaped and she had short eyelashes with brown eyes that matched her skin. Her hair had been put into a fancy and nice wave that had a mixture of gold in it. It fell to about her rib cage, the waves them were very small and well done. 

As for her figure, she was thin with a very pear shape body type. Her chest was probably like a b cup for sizing of a bra and she over all was okay looking. 

Then you had McKinnon who was a complete bitch to those were different from her. She had brown hair that was cut to shoulder length and that was clearly crimped to be in style with everyone else in the muggle world. She often wore very horribly done make up, over doing it with a really dark blush that didn’t even fit her complexion. Oh god don’t even get her started on that girl's eyeliner... she’s seen better on monkeys. And then there was her very bright red lipstick that went out around her lips trying to make them look bigger. 

It was successful if she was trying to look like a clown. Honestly how can people not tell that to her, they’re letting her walk around looking like a clown all the time. Peeves the poltergeist looks better then her and he’s dead! Or well he’s never been alive but he’s a ugly dick so they're two peas in a pod in that regard. But Peeves is more likeable then her any day of any week. 

Now for her figure, the girl was as thin as a toothpick and had very broad shoulders like a man. No fat in her thighs or breasts, it’s like they weren’t even there. And yet she still had a boyfriend. How was that physically possible? Her personality was horrible and her body was also horrible. 

Her eyes shifted to Alice, who was a very small girl with very-very short hair in a picky cut style. Her eyes were very round and bright blue with interestingly, a small amount of purple in them. Her eyelashes were somewhat long with a lot of natural curl to them. She had a small amount of freckles that were sprinkled across her face. 

It matched her brown-light hair very neatly. Her nose was very button like but small and the bridge of her nose held it up so it looked quite normal. Her lips were very round and sharp near the edges making them look quite pretty. If she wasn’t hanging out with the three bitches of Oz she probably would be a really fun girl to hang out with. 

Poor poor Alice caught up in the wrong crowd of girls from her house.

Her eyes shifted to Lily bitchy Evans, the devil descendant herself. She even sat like a bitch with her legs crossed height while she had her arm rested on the table. The girl's dark red hair fell over her shoulder, flowing out onto the table. She had bright green eyes that were like an ugly version of grass. Her eyes also looked like they belonged to a very ugly fish. She might be a very pretty girl but she was sure was a salty fishy bitch. 

Her body type was perfect for any guy to want, she had curves in the right places and she wasn’t a flat board for a girl her age. Well not every 16-17 year old kid wasn’t flat chested, it depended on a lot of factors honestly. Oh well it was just Lily Evans. 

One of the bitches from her own house walked by and glared at her. Yep. Homophobes sure didn’t like her. Being outed by her own ex best friend kinda made it that way. The worst part was they were only 13, and that ended up causing a bunch of problems. 

Here she thought being a wizard would put her higher in her family, and the fact that wizard school was something she always maladaptive day dreamed about. Like who wouldn’t want to be a fucking wizard with a magic stick for fucks sake. Like a flick of the wrist and you can kill a bitch. Okay that was now her new catchfrase! 

Only, killing people was illegal, but like oh well. She could be the first Hufflepuff known to turn to the dark side just for the cool names and shit. Like in fucking Star Wars! But like instead of Darth Vader she could be Darth Trash with a cherry on top. Because let’s face it, she would be jack shit at being evil other then her sarcastic Slytherin like jokes. 

It was probably the weird enemies to lovers trope she commonly saw in books and muggle TV that was really making her want to do this. 

Wait! Wait-wait-wait! Instead of being a main leading villain she could be the henchmen! Because let’s face it watching hate sex is better then being in it! 

God her mind was a mess... she really needed to see what being straight was like instead of always being on the gay side of things. Would that help with this?... NAH! Fuck that! Being straight meant you either are a pretty girl who wears a lot of make up or your the nerdy girl who is single as fuck. 

Now if your gay, your all over the place no matter what. You got your goths with the pretty eyeliner, you got the bisexual masochists who are fucking invincible to every thing - those people personally could be her boggart - but you also had the “straight girls” who are the most annoying when they act like they’re “all that” when they’re really just deeply depressed inside. 

Because ya know, mental health problems wahoo! 

She got up tired and frustrated, walking out of the dinning hall to go do any else but eat. She felt like something was coming, though she didn’t know what. So she decided to quickly walk to her next class that would be starting later. She heard footsteps behind her so she sped up of course and reached into her robes to grab ahold of her wand. 

God it sucked always being paranoid for like everything. Walking through the halls, sleeping in her own room, walking through the dungeons, even being in class for fucks sake. It all sucked! 

She hobbled along to her class like the gremlin she was, sneaking past people without them noticing her presence. She was tiny enough to do so. Luckily. If she wasn’t, she probably would be getting hexed every second of everyday. 

Her breath finally calmed down as she slipped past some 7th year students into her charms class being one of the few first people there along with the teacher, Mr. Flitwick, who seems to only have been here like 12 years or something. 

She walked over to her desk and took her seat, pulling out her book and flipped to the assignment that was written in the air using a charming spell. Why didn’t the other teachers use that? Oh never mind she was just gonna read her book happily. Hopefully. 

She ended up just opening it and staring at it during the whole class... she means the whole class. No one noticed... no one. Not even the teacher who’s standing right in front of her since she sat in the front for a reason. God why are Gryffindors always the main character and Hufflepuffs are pushed to the side. Like what the hell man? 

Couldn’t she get a evil enemy who was in a different house then her to battle with to the death after they graduate only to discover 20 years later they where in love and they end up having hate sex? Wait no cross out that last part. That’s only in movies...this is real life. She needs to really get that straight. Even though her mind is pretty bent she should be able to do that task right? 

Nope. That would never change. Thank god there weren’t mind readers at this school. Actually there probably were, because magic can seem to anything. Maybe she should look it up in the library? Because if there were mind readers she sure was gonna learn how to be one. Maybe she could find a fellow weirdo like her. 

It would be a good use for telling who’s gay or not. Or trans, or someone who doesn’t identify with either gender or both. That way she could respect them. And it would be useful to cheat on a test. 

She got up and grabbed her book, stuffing it in her bag and threw it over her shoulder basically locking her outer robing in place to keep it from moving. It’s a little trick she picked up in her 3rd year to hide her scars from showing when her shirt was see through without her sweater. 

She walked out of the classroom moving at her normal hobbling speed trying to avoid everyone and everything. Especially Evans and her two bitch army that happened to include Alice. 

She slipped through the crowd, completely walking down the hall with very few students walking to her last class of the day. Which just happened to be transfiguration, with McGonagall. Before she made it though she felt someone use a stunning spell on her. Great what good luck. Who was it this time? Her roommates or Evans and the bitchs? 

She listened for the foots steps to try and tell who it was, she had memorized her roommates footsteps along with several other of her house mates and some other students that she knew from other houses. 

They were light and feminine with a simple tape to the ground. That meant they belonged to the clown. Clown of Gryffindor in all her glory stepped in front of her. She hated this bitch, if that wasn’t clear in her description of people. Wait no she loathed this bitch. If you think she hates Evans, you're dead wrong. She hates this bitch way more! Evans might be the leader but this rat gave the suggestions of shit to do. 

Basically like Petter Pettigrew giving suggestions to Sirius Black or James Potter. Also what is with the Potter? Like P-o-t-t-e-r like otter or potty. Should she just call him otter Potter from now on? Would he even know what an otter is? 

And back to the actually situation she had no fucking idea of what was going on right now. All she knew is that she was now unfrozen and Evans was now having a three way argument with the four prankster boys from Gryffindor, and the Slytherin that Snape was usually seen with.... she thought that the four boys weren’t talking to each other. How did it lead up to this? 

She turned to Lupin who was.... in his pajamas. Yep he’s getting dress-coded. “How long was I standing unfrozen while I was stuck in my head?” she asked and Lupin looked at her. “Quite a while” he said. Shit transfiguration! 

Just as she didn’t think this situation was gonna get weirder or worse guess who walked by. Her fucking bitch roommates. Being Becky the Bible Bitch, Sinica raccoon eyes, and Mullen Pomona. 

“You better hurry it up little dyke if you don’t wanna be late.” Bible bitch Becky said. Her eyes glowed with anger. She was tired of these bitches and their bullshit. She was tired of everyone's bullshit. 

“I see your covering up those nasty scars again lesbo” raccoon eyes said. Mullen Pomona just laughed. 

She took a deep breath and took out her wand. She put it to her throat to higher her voice like a fucking megaphone proudly and announced. “Jesus fucking Christ was a wizard and a black man! The current picture of a white man you call Jesus is a a gay white man who is the lover of DaVinci who was a painter. The man also slept with his sister and murdered his brother! Have fun worshiping that of what you hate!” She said and that bitch and her posey turned right around. 

She knew what she was talking about though, the person DaVinci painted the Jesus painting after was his white lover at the time. Thank god she knew her history or else that would be an awkward conversation. Also she didn’t mean to offend anybody about Jesus being black except Becky, if you actually looked where Jesus was at the time you would see that he was indeed a dark skinned person that was no where near white. 

“Haha take that bible thumper!” She said loudly clenching her fists gripping her wand tightly pulling it away from her throat just in case she had to fight. For once she was happy that she knew DaVinci had a gay lover and used him as a reference for his white Jesus painting. Even though Jesus was black he still painted him as white... 

Also who wouldn’t know by now that Jesus was a con artists and a wizard probably just being... actually the way he died and came back might have an explanation. Like some type of way to keep your self from dying kinda thing. 

Oh well she just better fucking duck from these bitches. 

“You little goblin! I’m gonna cut all your hair off and I might just gladly repeat that incident!” Becky said. 

“Back off Mikoth! No one gives a crude about your muggle religion just go to class” Aspen Avery said looking absolutely horrible. 

“No one cares what you have to say you crippled albino. Just stay out of this and go back to your bat cave.” Becky said walking over at a dangerous speed. She could see the anger growing in Harper Mulciber's face along with Aspens Avery's. That bitch was gonna get it and it wouldn't be from her. 

Oh well shit y’all better grab some popcorn and enjoy who ever explains how this incident started. 

———————


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! Graphic description of gore!! Do not read if you can’t handle this!!! 
> 
> Also thank you all for waiting.

Severus was laying down in his hospital bed looking at his injury report. He stared at it in shock. 

He had been missinformed by the doctor about how his head and body had been damaged. He took a deep breath and started to reread it to make sure he wasn’t actaully going crazy about this. 

Patient: Severus Tobias Snape, 

Room number: 302 3rd floor. 

Patient number: 22657

Age: 15

Birthday: 9th, January, 1960

Parents/guardians: Eileen Snape née prince (deceased)-relation (mother)  
Tobias Snape (deceased)-relation (father)  
Minerva McGonagall (living),  
Albus dumbledore (living),  
Ascania Prince (living)-relation (aunt),

Date: June 25th, 1975

admission: Emergency Medical care due to car crash with several injuries. 

Injursies: 

The back of the skull was fractured and cracked open right behind the ear up past the hair line damaging the cochlear nerve in the inner ear that transmits sound in the brain. Luckily there were no bone fractures from the skull. But the brain will go through some damage yet to be determined. 

Several ribs were broken but luckily they were clean breaks and didn’t have fragments going into the lungs or other organs, fatally injuring them. 

Hip bone was snapped out of the socket on the left side and was placed back without consequence of injury. Maybe mild discomfort if the patient was awake. 

Shin on the left leg broken in half with bone fragments flying into the muscle permanently damage inflicting it. The patient will not be able to run or walk properly. If they over do it to often thus causing a permeant limp. 

Right hand was fractured with bone fragments flying into the muscle of the thumb damaging the function of writing properly. 

Spinal cord was intact but the skin on the back was completely scratched up. 

Something pop into his head. He didn’t know what it was at first then he realized it was a memory he had recovered like the last few over the last few days. 

He was sitting on a train... in a train car looking out the window as trees passed at a fast speed. He was leaning back with his hand on his chin just watching out the window. The memory seemed to have a very gloomy feel to it. It was dark and cold, like it didn’t want to exists but still did any way. 

He was wearing what seemed to be a long sleeved white top and his hair wasn’t as long as it was in real life. His gaze shifted to the other boys in the train car. Three boys were sitting in the train with him. One to the far right near the door. It took him a moment to realize it was Evan Rosier, he looked different then he did when he met him in potions class. 

He his hair was shorter and his build and stance was different. He looked a lot weaker then he did when he first saw him. He definitely had gotten some type of glow up from when he must have last seen him. The boy was reading a book slouched in his seat. Even though it was bad to read on a moving train. 

His eyes shifted to Aspen Avery who pretty much looked the same but his hair was even longer then it was when he had seen him. It was still tied back, but over the shoulder this time and it almost reach past his mid stomach. Aspen seemed to be stuck in his head about something but every once in a while would glance at Evan. 

His eyes shifted to the other boy next to him who had dark chocolate skin. The boy's hair was a lot different then it was when he met him in detention but didn’t get his name. His hair was dark black and was about a inch off his head but well kept and cut down in the back to smooth it out to keep it style. 

He should ask for his name next time. The boy was oddly enough doing card tricks with a set of muggle poker cards. He seemed talented at it though, so that’s interesting. Must be nice to have a hobby like that. 

After a quick flash of the memory it was over and he was back looking at his medical records. He sighed and glanced around the room and as he suspected another memory popped into his head. 

This time he was walking out of the train station, he looked around and there was a man. The same man from his memory the of the two people dancing. It made sense why he was here. He had to guess it was his dad. Especially with the similarities in features they shared. The man seemed grouchy with his stance and mood. 

He walked up to him anyway, “Didn't expect you to actually show up.” He said hearing his own voice for the first time. Damn it was more deep then he expected. He couldn’t tell you how he was remembering how people’s voices sounded. Maybe it was some type of weird medical magic they did on him. 

“You’re really gonna disregard me like that kid? I might not be in my groove but it doesn’t mean I’m going to forget about my son.” His father, his father had a deeper voice then his own with it sounding like his throat had been cut and scratched up harming his voice box. So it wasn’t all that pleasant to hear. 

“I wasn’t disregarding you, I just figured you wouldn’t show up and just make me walk home like you did when you where supposed to drop me off. Apparently then work was more important then your kid. If Lily and Mrs Evans hadn’t picked me up I wouldn’t have been able to make my train.” He grumbled, his father made a sorrowful look and took a deep breath. 

“I didn’t tell you to walk, I told you to get a ride on the bus, I even gave you the money for it. I left it on the counter with a note” his father said holding out his hand for something. He moved and handed him his trunk. “I really didn’t see anything, where did you leave it?” He asked looking up at his father who had a bit of stubble on his face. 

“In the kitchen on the counter by the stove in the key tray.” His father answered while he nodded. 

“Why didn’t you see me off though? You would have if mom was still around.” He said, he could tell in the tone of his voice that he was hurt. They finally made it outside of the station. 

“I didn’t come because I didn’t have the strength Severus” his father said looking at him then looking slanted down at the ground. “You didn’t have the strength to see me off because she’s gone? Did you not think I would need you? Everything this year has been horrible and I needed you there. You weren’t there” he said with his fists clenched. 

He didn’t know what to think of this memory. Other then it was very sad. “Severus I’m sorry.. I-“ his father was cut off by him. 

“I needed your help, I still need your help. I’ve become something I don’t even recognize, I’ve lost Lily, I lost mom, i don’t have anyone left any more. Especially after mom was gone, she was the only person who accepted I was gay..” he said and his father looked at him with shock it was the good kind of shock. His fathers eyes were soft, they seemed to accept it. 

“Severus that’s wonderful. I would never hate you-“ his father said getting cut off.

The emotions that filled that moment seemed to cause something horrible to happen. First a lamp post fell and hit the road. Then a truck swerved and hit them and everthing in the memory went black. 

There where snapshot of light, to be what he assumed memories of what happened next. 

The first time he opened his eyes he was laying on his side and all he saw was the gray colorded ground covered in red. The red. The red was blood. Blood from- his... his. His father...who was lying about eight feet away from him completely still, unmoving, facing down, all... deformed and snapped out of place. 

He could see that his fathers skull was cracked open and splattered on the side wall brutally. Pieces of the skull all over the place. If you looked close enough you could see the brain through all the blood. 

His father's expression was horrifying, he looked as though he was in shock, his face was pale and losing its color quickly. One of his eyes was out of it’s socket while the other was staring directly at him. 

One of his fathers arms was reaching out toward him but the shoulder was snapped out of place with the bone sticking out-out-of the shirt sharply. 

His heart stopped and he felt cold. The memory faded out into black once again. Then there was another short memory. 

He was facing upwards and now he saw gray tiles with bright lights attached to them and he was being pushed or floated on something. He was in a hospital. A face of a women looked over him with a wand casting a bright light over his eyes to check them. then seemed to shout something he definitely could not hear. 

It faded out once again that was the last of the memories that showed. 

He once again was looking back at the papers in his hand. He couldn’t control what was happening at the moment. His eyes burned with tears as they rolled down his face. So his dad must have been a really good person... just not as strong after his mother’s passing. 

He didn’t know what to really think of it all. His heart just hurt, he kept crying and not just a few simple tears. No he was balwling and had to cover his mouth with his hand as to not make any noise. He was probably failing at that but he didn’t care. 

He had... he had came out to his father only for him to literally die a second later. How? Why? Then of all times... how in the universes mind did that make sense to take something like that. 

He didn’t notice a healers assistant come in and give him some type of potion. He suddenly felt calm and didn’t know why he was crying so badly over that memory. Somehow he felt ok? God magic was confusing.

He wiped the final tears from his eyes and rubbed them a few times taking in some sharp breaths. He looked around and saw the healer's assistant was waiting patiently for the potion to kick in. His breath slowed down rapidly and was back to normal, his body still twitchy from the scene he had just seen in his head. 

He picked up the book and opened it to see if the nurse had said anything to him. He was right she had. 

‘Mr. Snape, we need to take a look at the scar on the back of your head that is listed in your reports. We need to remove the stitches and see if it’s healing properly. We’ll need to shave your head for the exam. We will also be checking your other scars to see how they’ve healed over the past few months.-Amy Rosales the book read.’ 

He looked up and the healer was wearing something similar to a nurses outfit from a muggle hospital. She had very long hair tied behind her back that had been put in a pretty braid, she also had a bow attached to the bottom of it. Her hair wasn’t shiny but it was probably really soft from the looks of it. 

She had darkened tanned skin that was very smooth and a mole on the bottom of her lip. She was quite pretty, figure wise, she had a snatched waist, probably from wearing some type of corset to train it along with not too wide hips and shoulders. Her body would probably be a rectangle shape instead of a hourglass if her waist was normal. At least that’s what he could tell, he could be wrong. 

————-

After a few hours of the healers checking his scars and giving him a whole exam on how his body was doing physically, they left he be. He grabbed new clothing out of his trunk and headed to the shower to wash off the extra hair they cut. He looked in the mirror as he walked by it and he looked really really different. His hair had already grown a few inches off his head. 

But he looked completely different, that was the weirdest thing he seen so far. He reached up and touched it and it felt all fuzzy and smooth. He could look at his scars very clearly, they weren’t the prettiest, and they made him cringe. He leaned over the sink and traced his hands along a scar on his chest, it looked a lot of older then his other ones and he wondered how it got there. 

He traced his hand over it, wasn’t done by a human hand with just a knife that was for sure. Maybe it was a scar from some type of spell accident. But then again it didn’t feel any magic pull to it. Usually when a deformity of the body is made by a spell, magic will always linger in it to keep it that way. Somehow that was something he just knew.

His eye brows furrowed together and he looked up at the mirror again. His face wasn’t handsome, his very pale skin made it even worse if anything, he looked like he had never even spent a day outside. Almost as if he was a vampire. His eyes looked like he hadn’t slept in days and were still pretty red from crying. 

He took a deep breath and turned on the water to the shower waiting for it to heat up. He hoped he would get more of his memories back today like he did earlier. 

He stepped into the shower and shut his eyes standing under the water. Thoughts shifted through his head and he zoned out with another few memories coming to him. 

He was standing in the rain staring at a grave. The grave was this tombstone with a picture on it, it was a picture of the women who was dancing with his father, so she was his mother. The grave had the words “loving mother, loving sister, and loving wife. I will always be here when you all need me, even if seems like I’m gone.” Carved into the stone, he wondered why there was no loving daughter if there was loving sister on the stone. 

Was there something significant about that? It really seemed like there was, he hoped to get his memories back to know if that was a significant thing. 

He looked up and looked to his side, there was a women standing there in a black and silver dress that looked very much like robing wizards wear. She had a similar bone structure to his mom but has long straight black hair that was tied in a french braid then pulled back in a bun. 

She had a bow tied onto the base of the bun, it was green and silver. Like the Slytherin colors, it was tied very neatly and seemed right with the outfit somehow. 

The women was gloomy but familiar somehow. Maybe she was the aunt listed in the paperwork he had read, that would make sense seeing as the similarities between his mother and her. 

She looked at him, her eyes the bright blue he'd ever seen in his life. It was shocking how the sun seemed to go through them, making them almost glow. She reached over and patted him on the shoulder before handing him something in a box. 

He didn’t know what it was. 

“Severus, these are the papers to the Prince vault and an heirloom we have been passing down through the generations of first born men. Use it wisely please.” She said before walking off with a very sad expression on her face. He turned and watched her as she left, walking off the patch of grass were graves where scattered. 

He looked at the box and gripped it tightly to his chest. He wondered who the Prince’s were and what connection he had to them if she had given him access to stuff they owned. 

He slid his thumb over the box and took a deep breath before turning back to the grave and the memory started to fade out. 

It sometimes feels like a shock when things come back to you like that. It’s like a surge of lightening when the memories come back to him. He’s starting to understand what he is now, more and more as the days pass. 

He had a lot to question though, like as to why a teacher would be made his guardian if he had an aunt who could take care of him. Or maybe it was the questioning of how they handled students... it seemed that Slytherin and Gryffindor had some type of rivalry to them. He would have to find out why but maybe the teachers and headmaster maybe using it as that. 

If McGonagall comes back to see him soon he’s gonna question her on all of this stuff. There is something that’s not making sense about this whole situation. He had a gut wrenching feeling something with this situation had something to do with someone and it wasn't him. 

He wouldn’t be able to tell you why he feel that way but there are things that aren’t adding up. Why would McGonagall lie about his medical records to him? That was pissing him off and making want to speak to her sooner rather than later. 

He finally got out of the shower and dried himself off before getting changed into some interesting choice of clothing. It was a black shirt with a dragon on it platted in golden something. He didn’t really know what it was honestly. It just looked a little off to him. He then slipped on a muggle plaid button up shirt over the dragon shirt. His pants where black along with his shoes. 

He looked in the mirror again and noticed his hair had grown another inch or two. He just shrugged and ran a brush through it, still feeling calm with the calming draught still in his system in affect. It did make him shiver though , his head seemed to be very sensitive to it. 

He set the brush down and walked out of the room glancing around to find McGonagall sitting in the same chair he had first seen her in when he had woken up. She stood up and walked over to him. 

She handed him his book he had left on the medical bed. He snatched it from her hand looking up at her with anger on his face. The potion was now wearing off. 

“You lied about my medical problem and records. I should have figured the science behind “you damaged a nerve in your spine” as bull shit. If you damage a nerve in your spine you’d be dead in an instant. No I damaged my ear dumbs and what connects them to my brain.” He said taking a step back from her clenching his fist. 

He opened the book and read what her response was. 

‘Albus.. thought it would mend you to something he wouldn’t tell me. -Minerva McGonagall’ the page read. He gripped the edge of it and looked up at her. 

“So you listened? How mature” he mocked with the sarcasm feeling connected to him by some weird familiar thing. He zoned out for another moment with a memory flashing into his head. 

He was sitting in an office with Lupin, Black, Potter, Evan and another boy he didn’t know. He was sitting against the wall away from the four boys who were all clearly Gryffindors due to the red ties they were wearing. 

Now the boy he didn’t know who was in the room was short, chubby, and had blond hair that was very thin. His eyes shifted to the teacher who had just walked in. 

It was the same older guy he had seen at the detention. He must be Dumbledore. 

“Now, now boys calm down. Mr. Black please explain what happened.” Dumbledore asked standing the side of the desk. He noticed that the office was huge, colorful, filled with old books, and had huge windows decorating the walls. 

He glanced at Black who had somewhat of a smile on his face. It seemed like he was going to do something evil but didn’t want to. Somehow trying to blend in with the others, the expression itself was definitely not Blacks real emotion about what ever this situation was gonna be. 

“Well sir, Snape hexed James from behind causing him to drop his potion in potions class. Then James went and hexed him back and we all ended up getting in a fight almost destroying the whole classroom.” Black said lifting his hand to rub the back of his neck in an awkward motion. 

He glanced at Dumbledore seeing the old man had a look of disappointment in his expression but his eyes told a different story. He looked like he was wanting that to happen. He felt cold, so he was wanting something from them all. He didn’t like the feeling it was giving him, he wanted to shake it off but he shouldn’t. He defiantly wasn’t going to either, he should instead keep it in his mind for his own safety. 

He shifted in his seat probably crossing his legs and arms. That told him he was uncomfortable with this situation at the time. Dumbledore was hiding something, once he had his memories back and knew for sure, he would have to get away. 

It defiantly seemed he would have the money to with what his aunt handed him. He would need to be on guard. 

Soon enough he was back to the current time out of his head. He took a deep breath and looked at McGonagall, she had her hair down over her shoulder with a sorrowful and guilty face. 

She was about in her 50 to 60s but she really didn’t look that old. Her face said that she would probably be in her 40s is you didn’t know her or if you didn’t find out her age. Her eyes were very straight at the top and rounded at the bottom, she also looked like she slept well for being a teacher. 

He sighed and gave her a look before walking to his hospital bed. Thank god if he didn’t want to talk to someone he could just not pay attention to him. That was the only good thing being deaf. Otherwise he could tell you it was difficult to do what you needed to. 

——————-

He took a deep breath of the cold air in cokesworth, he was standing outside of his house. Or at least he thought it was his house from McGonagall's words it must be. 

The house was old, but well structured and weirdly shaped then what he thought it would be, the roads were all brick and the houses where weirdly placed apart with no plants insight. Somewhat like a desert but with man made bricks and houses. How could any one tell these apart if they didn’t live here? Who in the hell knows. 

He walked inside after his professor opened the door hesitantly looking around. It was very dusty inside and there where cobwebs in the corners of the house. The floor was unstable, creaking as he walked.

On the walls there were pictures hung up of a younger version of himself and his mother and father with him. They looked happy together, but as he walked through the halls he could see how his mother seemed to.. slowly get sicker and it looked like she was... decaying slowly and painfully through them. But it didn’t change the smile on her face through any of the photos. 

He continued to walk through the house and look around ignoring his teachers presence or any thing she had to say. He slowly creaked open a white painted door with what had a coat wrack on the inside of it. The room was dark and cold... he reached over and turned on the light switch. 

The wall was colder then the room itself and when the light turned on he squinted at the brightness of it. After a moment of his eyes adjusting he could see the room was well kept but covered in dust and cobwebs. Man there where a lot of spiders infesting his childhood home. 

He walked over to the bed in the room which was a king sized bed made for two people to sleep on, it had a black and grey stripped bed cover on it while the sheets where just plain white. The pillow covers matched the bed and seemed to bled in with it all together. There was still a head imprint on the pillow though. He took a deep breath stepping away from the bed. 

Next he looked at the night stand which was right next to it. It was a small dark brown wooded table, there where a lot scratches in the wood and some water stains from cups that had previously been put on it. 

He ran his ringers over it practically scooping up the dust on it as he went. There was a photo on the night stand of his mom and dad hugging one another. They were a lot younger then what he had seen in his memories that was for sure. His mother was wearing a blue dress with a matching hat to go with it. while his father was wearing a nice button up shirt with pants and suspenders. 

They looked happy in the photo and he smiled at it. He hoped they rested in peace in the afterlife and were able to watch over him. He had a sense of dread but warmth looking at them. He couldn’t tell you why when he didn’t know them but he felt the connection he once had with them. 

He took another deep breath and sat down on the bed. He looked at the night stand still before opening the top drawer. 

There was barely anything in the drawer but there was a pack of cigarets laying on top of some playing cards on the left side of the drawer. His eyes shifted to a small jewelry box kept in the back of the drawer. 

That intrigued him, he reached out and pulled it out of the drawer, before popping it open and looking inside. There were a few different places of jewelry, one being a set of cufflinks for a man, another being a women’s neckless, and lastly a mans neckless with two rings on the chain. The rings were a nice gold color and they looked to be for a man and a women. 

The man's ring had a T engraved on it with an S next to it. And the women’s ring had an E,S, and P engraved on it. They were beautifully made and done and very well kept. He clenched them in his fist and stared at his fist. He just felt cold and alone.

Another memory flashed into his head. 

He was sitting under a tree at a park just looking up at the sky. Pretty much just staring at the sky. Then that girl with blond hair was standing over him, the one who wore the purple flower dress that the red head dragged away from him. She looked angry and a bit older. 

“Really still out here Snape?” The girl asked in a disgusted tone, he just looked up at her. Didn’t say a word back, before he knew it he was standing. They where about the same height, “Really still a little wonky bitch Petunia?” He asked in a similar tone to hers.

So Petunia was her name, he would have to keep that in his mind. Just for his own sake, just in case he ran into her again without his memories but god she seemed like a bitch. 

The argument between the two of them continued and he just sat back and watched how it played out. He didn’t know why this memory of all things was triggered. 

———————


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING GORE AND ALOT OF DESCRIPTION IN THIS CHAPTER! If you don’t want any gore please skip to Severus point of views and I will sum this chapter at the end for those who did not read it. -thank you.

Evan Rosier walked down the hall of Hogwarts thinking about what he had to do when he got to his care magical creature class, but something in the back of his mind kept bothering him. Usually he was alone unless he was with his very few friends who where his housemates. Which consisted of Aspen, Harper, and Severus. They were the only people he was actually close to who weren’t family. 

Actually correction he only had two friends. Aspen was his lover not his friend. He really only had two friends because he was so insecure and honestly didn’t want to be involved in the dark arts like his family was. The more he would branch out with people the more likely he would be recruited for joining Voldemort and his death eaters. 

He didn’t want that, he knew if he ever joined he would put himself and the people he loved in a lot of danger. It mainly had to do with the fact that he was gay, and he couldn’t imagine joining some evil people who would torture him to inanity for it. 

His own parents wouldn’t accept him if they knew, they would throw him out in an instant, only after using an unforgivable curse on him. That seemed to be a “the Black family” tradition, he heard from Narcissa that Sirius went threw that for.. being different somehow. Then there was Andromeda who almost got killed by her sister Bella’s rage. Just for marrying a muggle at her own right. 

He felt like he was in a cage... it seemed there was always one black sheep of the family with all of them. He would be the next one to be affected, that is if he didn’t keep his mouth shut. He was honestly terrified of what people could do to him. 

He tried to be “popular” without being popular, he was on the quidditch team just for that reason. He kept his grades up to almost top of most his classes to be seen as acceptable. Lastly he tried to avoid any conversation about marriage and any contact with another families for marriage. He would prefer to die alone then marry someone he could never love like fucking Bellatrix did to uphold the tradition. 

His stomach curled thinking of what they might do to him now that they had practice with two other family members and how to handle them. He sometimes thinks on it to much his depression kicks in and he’s in his room for days at a time besides class. Aspen will usually bring him some food if he misses meals, which he’ll feel bad about afterwards due to how little energy he has. 

Now that he thought about it you could probably say his friend count was down to one now that Severus was deaf and in the hospital with no memories what so ever. 

He didn’t know if Severus would get his memories back or not or how it would play out. It made him worried but of course he didn’t express it like he should have. He crossed his arms and looked at the ground as he walked awkwardly.

He heard foot steps of someone running towards him and he turned around quickly to see who it was. It was Zane Travers, one of the pure-blood Slytherin students in his own house. This was weird for him to do but as he expected Travers stopped right in front of him with the stomping on the stones in the empty halls coming to a stop after the echo finished. 

Travers took a very deep breath and bent over on his knees looking down at the ground with a very red face. Travers was a very small boy with black shortly cut hair. He overall had no muscle on his body and was thin but healthy for his size. He had a square shaped face with not a very pronounced chin or cheekbones. But he did have bright brown eyes that almost seemed yellow oddly.

Travers often would be mistaken for a second year student no matter what he did due to his height, weight and face. It didn’t help his face was also decorated in freckles making him seem even more child-like. 

Travers always seemed to be left behind compared to everyone else, like he couldn’t quite accomplish what everyone wanted. He never knew what to think of Travers or many of his fellow classmates. Everyone was so different from one another it didn’t always make sense as to why every one was so close together. 

The thing most of them had in common was not showing what they were actually feeling emotionally. It was such toxic masculinity, if you cried you were judged. If you smile you were judged, if you yell you’re judged. If you don’t have perfect grades you're judged, or if you didn’t wear your uniform or clothing perfectly you'll be judged. Especially if you have a high standing in society. 

In this world it seems if you show anything or show nothing at all you will not be liked. No matter what you do...

Soon enough his thoughts were interrupted by Travers words. “Avery is in a dueling battle with Becky Mikoth! In the third corridor near the transfiguration room” Travers said out of breath. 

As soon as Travers finished his sentence Evan took off running. He didn’t care what else Travers had to say he knew Aspen would get hurt. Or over do his energy limit, of course he might give away how much he cares for Aspen but that didn’t matter at this current moment. 

He needed to get there before Aspen got hurt! He couldn’t let that of all things happen, he loved Aspen too much to see him get hurt by some bitch who got mad at him!

Once he got there though Aspen was on the floor breathing very heavily and he looked very pale. He went straight to him. 

He ignored everyone around them and bent by his side. 

“Aspen! Are you hurt?” He asked sitting his lover up letting Aspen lean on him. Aspen didn’t respond much other then a nod. He made a face of worry and heard a commotion behind him. Someone was making rude remarks towards him. 

“Will you shut the fuck up!!!!!!” He screeched turning around to see that in fact the person saying those remarks was Mikoth. That bloody bitch! She was about to pay, he was going blind with rage, he didn’t give a fuck if she was a girl or not. 

All this school did was twist the Slytherins into villains. That’s was it, over and over they always booed when someone was put into their house, always threw books at them or trash in their general directions at them in the hallways, always blamed them for starting fights, always blamed them if they were the ones getting hexed. It didn’t matter, if you're a Slytherin your're a villain.... 

He clenched his fists as thoughts and other familiar events flashed through his head. Once he came back from those thoughts he was just filled with complete anger and hatred. His eyes flashed back to Mikoth and he remembered what happened. 

He’s going to get her back. He’ll make her pay, maybe make an example out of her. 

He helped Aspen onto his feet letting Aspen lean on him for support. Aspen had his arm warped around his neck before shifting to that awkward “I’m hurt pose” muggles often use when someone has hurt their leg. 

“My god do we have more then one of these social rejects in this school. Are they really just letting all kinds of f-“ 

“Harper kindly take Aspen from my arms please” he said, and Harper did so quickly. He could tell from the tone of his voice he was going to do something to the bitch and would need to stand back. 

“Were you just about to call me a slur?” He said turning around to face her. He had a deathly look on his face while also being “calm”. He pulled out his wand swiftly and proficiently having a good grip on it while he did so. 

“Rosier what are you doing?” James Potter asked stepping forward with a look of caution on his face, most likely to deescalate the situation. He noticed the Gryffindor had his own wand gripped in his hand. 

“Hey, Evan...don’t do this...” Sirius tried to intervene along with his stupid friend Potter. He gave them a simple glance before casting Petrificus Totalus on the both of them along with a knock back charm. 

He wasn’t going to have any of that, he was tired of little mudbloods running around and trying to push their bullshit onto him and everyone else. He was tired of people trying to act like they're hero’s when they’re the villains. He was always pushed to be a villain, why not show them what he could do. 

Potter flew into the wall hitting a portrait while Sirius flew into Remus Lupin knocking the group of Gryffindor boys back. Some of the girls standing around, one being Lily Evans, ran to the three to see if they were okay. The ones left on the side included Beverly Bannet, and Marlene McKinnon. Along with the other Hufflepuff girls standing around watching the situation. 

He smiled slightly thinking of the perfect example that will probably stay around this whole school and really teach them what a Pureblood can do to a muggleborn freak who just happens to have magic. He may not hate them all, but he did hate that they were going around taking advantage of fake beliefs. Maybe this will get them to shut up. 

He’s had to deal with six years of this bullshit. 

He raised his wand at her and smiled. “Expulso” he cast with the flick of his wrist. Next thing he knew everyone close enough to her flew back into the nearby walls or flew far down the hall way. While the bitch her self was engulfed in blue flames screaming bloody murder. Him himself was on the ground watching while laughing. 

Soon the laughing ended... why was he laughing again? 

He looked up to see the horrific sight for what it was before screaming and covering his mouth shutting his eyes. 

——————-

Severus shifted the rings in his hands as the memory ended. Her name was Petunia, she was with the red head girl who he had detention with. What was her name? It was on the tip of his tough but he couldn’t remember. 

He hated when this happened...he knew her name earlier. What was her-Lily. Her name was Lily, how did he forget that? This whole memory loss thing was fucking with his head if you ask him. This whole situation sucked. 

More and more of his memory was coming back but it was all in pieces and it was confusing. But the more that came back, the more he could put himself back together. 

He took a deep breath and decided since these rings were on a chain, it meant that they belonged to someone who lost the person they loved. He was able to put together that, they belonged to his parents due to the engraving on them. E and T, Eileen and Tobias to be exact. 

He linked the chain around his neck before getting up off the bed and walked out of the room to go look around some more. After all he would need his memories back to truly know what was going on. Something was wrong, and he knew it. They weren’t telling him things, that’s a sign of manipulation. 

He hated how this was going on and he couldn’t fucking remember anything! It was frustrating and he didn’t know what to do about it. Something kept giving him alarms in his head, something was happening and something was very much wrong. 

He shook it off though, he needed get through today and what he needed to do today was recover as many of his lost memories as he can. 

—————-

Lily opened her eyes and looked around. She was laying on the ground covered in ash, dirt... and... red... blood... she was covered in blood. She laid frozen on the ground terrified and slowly glanced around at the others trying to not move around. Her eyes landed on Rosier who was having a complete freak out. She could help but start shaking when her eyes landed on what was in front of her.

She heard screaming coming from one of the girls across the hall... it’s Marlene... the girl was very shaky and had some blood on her legs and she was bleeding from her head. 

She looked terrified just as much as she was herself. Why was this happening? Rosier wasn’t the type to... be like this. For Christ sake the man helped Aspen like they were all they had. Whenever one of them was in trouble they were there for each other. But this. What. What was going on? 

“What—I didn’t— I... I shouldn’t be able to cast dark magic...” She picked up on coming from the psychopath himself. He was muttering to himself and he looked like a complete mess. Judging from the pool bellow him he might or might not have even pissed himself. 

But she didn’t understand that... it gave her a feeling that it might not be him but something else instead. But her mind jumped to other things like getting the fuck out of here. 

She took a deep breath and moved slowly and very shakily. Barely holding herself up looking around to see if anyone had gotten them help she noticed Dorcas was clinging to the wall in an attempt to run. Her legs though... they were burnt and bloody and she wouldn’t make it very far. 

God what kind of horror/slasher film was this?! She slowly started to lose her energy and was back on the ground lying on her stomach scrawled out like the people who hadn’t woken up. Her breath got heavier and heavier until she was completely out. 

The last thing she was Beverly Bannet who was slumped against the wall out cold with her whole left sleeve burnt going up her arm. The short curly hair Lily knew she was clumping together from dried blood that was leaking down onto her face. Her body, clothing and face where well covered in ash. 

—————

Severus walked around close to his teacher around the town. People were certainly starring at him, he could tell they probably were also whispering about him as he past. He doesn’t exactly know if he’s well known around here, but the place has a familiar feel to it.

He walked with McGonagall on the sidewalk past people in interestingly chosen outfits. He felt eyes on him, it was probably because of the scars on his face and neck. They could be really creepy if you weren’t used to them or maybe had some type of fear of body dysphoria. 

It made him uncomfortable knowing they were looking at him instead of going on with their daily tasks. Why stare at something when you know it’ll make it uncomfortable if it’s living. He tucked his hands into his pockets and kept walking deciding to ignore them all.

He looked to the side for just a moment and ran straight into someone. He backed up to look at them. It was a man with strawberry blond hair, he was with a women with long red hair very similar to Lily’s and then there... oh Petunia was with them... should he have expected to run into her today?

Maybe or maybe not, he didn’t really know but he finally caught his balance. He looked at Petunia and a memory flashed through his head of Lily and him when they were very young. 

They were under that tree again talking about Hogwarts and magic and dementors. He heard a branch snap in the bushes. They both jumped looking behind them to see Petunia listening in on them, but what he didn’t expect was himself to lash out and drop a tree branch of all things in her. 

Was he really that violent before this? That would be a bad thing if he was, and if he was, he would need to try and be more calm. After the tree branch fell on Petunia, Lily got it off her sister and they left. 

The memory finished and he was back in his own time again. He noticed that McGonagall and the two adults were talking while Petunia was glaring at him with her arms crossed. Her mouth started moving and she pointed to her ear. Then it clicked that she was talking about his scars. 

He reached his hands up and covered them walking back, leaning on a wall. He looked down at the ground instead of looking at her. McGonagall seemed to notice and tapped him on the shoulder. 

He looked up and she pointed to his book. He nodded and opened it up. 

“Ignore her, she has always been quite a mean girl to her sister. I suggest being calm and strong.- Minerva McGonagall.

What does the book do?- Klaud Evans” he looked up at the man and then pointed to his ears then shook his head. He figured it would be better then speaking. He probably sounded really weird huh? He for some reason felt really, really insecure about everything. He didn't understand why. 

He felt like he couldn’t trust anyone and that childlike wonder he had the other day seemed to be fading. He was seeing more and more of what he had lost and it was becoming clear, this world just wasn’t fair. 

He didn’t hear what was going on nor did he look at his book. Before he knew it McGonagall had a letter in her hand reading it. He looked at her with curiosity but not showing it masking it with a blank face. That seemed to come naturally to him. 

He watched as her face turned from question to horror. She looked up at the Evans and said something he could not read off her lips. 

Before he knew it he was being dragged by his hand along side the Evans to somewhere in a back ally. McGonagall pulled out her wand after holding onto everyone's hands apperating them back to the hospital. He was confused as to why the family was coming with them. 

He didn’t know why...but something was wrong he could sense it, just no one would bother to let him know what was going on. He looked down at the book to check and there was nothing. 

—————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here the summary, Evan is walking threw the halls when Zane travers comes up to him and tells him that Aspen is in a fight. He runs to where the fight is it escalated and Becky Mikoth dies. Of course Evan didn’t mean to kill her something got into his head somehow willing him to do so. This freaking everyone the fuck out and having aloe of people get hurt in this situation.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wondering if any one could suggest me a second editor I can work with sense my current editor can be busy some times?

James Potter woke up to a very bright light shinning on his face, he instantly shut his eyes and winced at it. He hated bright lights in the morning- morning?! It was supposed to be the afternoon. Why was he thinking it was the morning-shit he totally late for class!

Wait-no something was really really off. He just didn’t know all of what was off. He opened his eyes slowly again. Of course his vision was blurry, and very foggy like that weird bumpy glass muggles had. He squinted and felt around for his glasses, by doing this he found out that he was actually on a bed... 

This caused him to panic and quickly sit up straight. He started to look around for his glasses again. He looked on the night stand to see that there was a pair of glasses, just not his. They where different, they had a different frame to them but he decided to put them on any way. 

His suspicions were right, he guess whatever happened cause his glasses to break and he needed a new pair. Someone from his family must have gotten them for him. He was finally able to see his surroundings and what he saw was that he was in a hospital. St. Mungos to be exact. 

He shifted in his bed and looked at his hands and legs, his right foot was bandaged and put in a cast. What was it that happened for his foot to be put in a cast? 

He slowly got up and hobbled his way to the bathroom. He wanted to check his face to make sure that was still intact. He opened the door to the bathroom and held onto the wall as he limped over to the sink before shutting the door. 

He looked the same facially besides a little eyebrow cut that might turn into a scar. He pulled up the long hospital sleeves up to his elbows, looking at his arms to make sure no damage was done. Was he that obsessed with his looks that he was really looking to see if he looked okay? 

He shook his head before hobbling out of the bathroom back to the bed. Something had to have happened to cause his leg to hurt this bad and be in a cast. He tossed himself on the bed, laying on his back. Once he did so his glasses extended forward up and off his face. 

Damn it! That was gonna be annoying and he hated when the back of his glasses were too long and did this. He would have to get them adjusted to bend behind his ear to fix the problem. He would usually use magic to fix them but it was quite clear that a student at a magical school cannot use Magic out side of the schools perimeter. 

That was gonna make getting used to this frustrating and tiring. He didn’t understand how there were repairs for glass lends and minor fixes but if it like snaps in half your screwed. Any more damage then that you where even more screwed. 

He just laid on the bed starting at the ceiling. He thought about what happened. Evan Rosier had snapped and knocked him out to get to Becky Mikoth one of the biggest bitches of their school. But what did he end up doing exactly? 

What if one of his friends got hurt? It was the night of the full moon was Remus ok?! What about Sirius...Peter? His heart started pumping in his chest like a person doing a repetitive knock on a door. He felt himself grow a little sick. 

What if Rosier went crazy and attacked his friends..? What if he killed one of them? Why didn’t he act sooner, he felt panic grow in him like a magical weed. His head and vision blurred in tandem with one another. He shut his eyes and squeezed the bed sheets with his hands tightly and felt pain in his head. It wasn’t normal pain, it was more of a migraine that was forming. 

Did he push himself to much? He hoped not, the light started to hurt when it was shining through his eyelids, so like the smart person he was he grabbed the pillow his head was laying on and covered his eyes with it. The pillow was nice and cold on his face and somehow it helped to calm to headache. But sadly not his panic. 

He took a deep breath and tried to convince himself everything was okay even though he was in a lot of pain just from thinking. He somehow managed to do so and just ended up laying there in a throbbing pain. 

He felt no panic, but also no peace. It was like there was nothing, no feeling? What was going on with him? He took a deep breath, though it was difficult to do with a pillow over his face. He just needed to wait. Wait until they came to him and explained what happened. 

He was in no shape to walk and he didn’t exactly know how to call for someone to come to him. So therefore he must wait and try not to get impatient and be a brat. 

He took one last deep breath shutting off his thoughts. The sad thing was he ended up falling asleep before he could do any thing else.

———————

After a while he woke up again in the same hospital bed. The only difference was that two of his three friends where in the room with him. He had pushed the pillow off his face in his sleep to be able to tell. He glanced at them and saw it was Moony and Padfoot out of everyone, they both looked like they somehow just didn’t want to be here. 

He adjusted his glasses so he could see them clearly. 

Moony was sitting next to Padfoot wearing a hospital robe with bandages around his head that also wrapped around his right eye. It didn’t cover all of his curly hair but it certainly did cover a portion of his scarred face. He felt a twinge of guilt over the thought, it wasn’t his fault he still held remorse for him. 

Other then that he didn’t have any other noticeable injuries. He didn’t look that good though and looked tired. The full moon must have been recently, he doesn’t know how long ago it was. He hoped Moony wasn’t found out. 

His eyes then shifted to Pads who was sitting in the chair next to Moony. He was looking down with his hair which was pretty tangled and not brushed covering his normally handsome face. 

Moony noticed he had woken up and hit Pads on the side of the arm making him look up- oh holy fuck there was a huge bruise that was on his face. It covered half of his face just about up to his hair line and it seemed very swollen in the shape of a rock. 

He must have hit his face on the stone floor... wow. 

“Umm- good to see y-your awake Prongs” Pads said and he sat up brushing his hair out of his face. He took a deep breath he knew what he had to do first. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a dick.” He said to Sirius who had a surprised look on his face which quickly formed into guilt. 

“I should be apologizing! Not you, I fucked up and that was my fault I should keep boundaries with people.. and I shouldn't have done “that”” he said with a sigh. 

“No not that, I don’t care about that Pads, you had your reasons and they're fine. I overreacted and hit you because of my rage and jel- never mind about that last part bu-“ he got interrupted by Moony. 

“I’m not going to sit through this apology if it’s not gonna be pure truth. I’m also not gonna let it continue.” Moony said with his serious mom face on. Moony normally wasn’t the mom friend which gave off that he knew more then anyone here of what was going on. 

Oh no...

“Let’s just get this all straight.” Moony said giving them each a glance before shutting his eyes pinching the bridge of his eyes. 

“Sev-Snape kissed Sirius, you got jealous and punched him over it cause you both have a thing for him and I-I saw what happened and decided to keep my distance because we all seem to be in the same Merlin forsaken boat.” Moony confessed and explained. 

James felt the color and blush forming on his face as Moony explained that secret. That unjust secret he was hopping to keep from Pads not to hurt him. He cleared his throat looking away from them. The fact that Moony said it so openly and so clearly for anyone to hear he felt like he was going to shrivel up and die! 

He couldn’t imagine what Pads was feeling from this. He could only guess that maybe it was shame or along the lines of guilt and embarrassment. He felt really really bad. He-he really just wanted this to be a normal experience but not even in the slightest. 

“Why would you say something like that out loud Moony! It’s more dangerous then talking about you out loud” Sirius said yelling in the first part of his sentence only for the second half to drop to a whisper. 

“The doors are shut, and those are two complete different things and you know it” Moony said a little annoyed at the mention of him being a werewolf. Even implying it made him angsty, he knew why and he learned to understand it mainly. 

His stomach twisted into a knot over this whole situation... this wasn’t a fun topic or situation. His mind then shifted to how they ended up in the hospital... what had happened?

“Guys do either of you remember what happened after I got knocked out...?” He asked but before they could answer him, he felt something crawl between his legs. 

“I figured you all were queer, my gaydar went off with the way y’all act. But this just proves it.” Said the thing between his legs. He jumped up onto the bed screaming. 

Meanwhile Sirius jumped up in his chair like a cat even though he was a dog in his Animagus form. Moony just sat there shocked with his eye huge. 

He looked down to see the red hair and it clicked it was Bannet and not some weirdo... wait no it was a weirdo never mind. Just this weirdo seemed to pop the fuck up when no one was paying attention. His question was lost to this now even worse situation! 

Bannet knew! 

Oh god! 

Shit he’s screwed. 

———————

Severus laid in his bed unbelievably bored out of his mind. No one was telling him why he was dragged back to this stupid hospital... everything was slow and it had been three days since anyone came in other then a healer or so. He didn’t have anyone to talk to and he didn’t want to leave his room just in case he got lost somewhere in the hospital. 

He felt like he was just complaining but he didn’t have much else to do at this point. The light in his eyes from first losing his memories was gone and he had a lot more of them back now. He could fill in a lot of gaps in things. 

Wait- you know what he should really just go walk around. As soon he stood up from the hospital bed he had been spending the last week and a quarter he turned around to see-oh god damn it! It’s all four of his worst nightmares!!!!

Potter was being helped up by Black and Lupin being carried through the door while Pettigrew followed behind them eating? He really should have figured Pettigrew would be a pig in his presence. He shot them all a dangerous glare before backing up and grabbing his translation book. He also grabbed his wand while he was at it. 

He wasn’t a student... but there was an age limit for magic... shit! Ok he just have to stab them with it if they got to close! 

He flipped open his book to see if they had said anything and sure enough they had. 

“Afternoon Severus! Mind us, we just wanna talk. -Remus Lupin” he squinted his eyes and didn’t give them a response. He just glared down at the page as more words appeared. 

Shouldn’t they be resting instead of coming to see him? It’s quite clear Potter can’t walk and Lupin looks like he’s gonna fall over from a headache. 

“Honestly my room got taken over by the girls and we saw it fit to come and see you instead of heading to one of our other rooms-James Potter” he sighed and looked up at the group of four of them. Actually it wasn’t a sigh it was more of a puff of anger if anything. 

He didn’t want- wait how in the hell could someone take over another persons medical room? He made a face of confusion looking up at them. 

Potter's mouth moved and he was able to make out the words fight, kicked, and out. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest and noticed a look Pettigrew was giving him and he gave it right back at the human rat. 

Lupin and Black brought Potter to the seating area he had next to his bed and then sat in the other to vacant seats. Of course leaving Pettigrew to sit on the ground of all places. He could sense they didn’t like him as much or else they would have given up one of their seats for their friend. 

He rolled his eyes at this whole situation. He didn’t exactly want to speak due to how Petunia had described how he sounded in a argument they had been at the hospital for a few hours. It happened because the blond was of course just bored and looking for someone to torment. 

He wondered if Potter- that would exactly be true, with that situation in Slughorn class. Did Potter and Lupin actually like him?

There was no way in hell they did, it was clear Black did though. Or was this all some joke because he lost his memories and the perfect time to get him. But why would Black go that far? They for sure were cruel people but would they actaully go that far... 

There’s-they-he can't deal with this of all things! Fuck this he isn’t going to talk to them or even think about them he’s just going to leave the room. 

Before he left the room he read what they had said while he was stuck in his thoughts to really decided if that was a good idea. 

“Okay the thing is, we're not actually here to hang, Snape. This is more important than that.-James Potter” had said as soon as he had opened the book it appears. He read over it again and something felt off, and panicked over the words. 

He looked up at James Potter and gave him a curious look. But he could feel the oddness and how off they all were now. He couldn’t before because for some reason they must have been hiding it. 

“W-what exactly is going on then?” He asked hesitantly. 

“There was an accident at school... more like explosion but no one is telling us what happened sense none of us saw it exactly. Lily saw it but she isn’t talking to any one, same with Dorcas Meadows. Mean while the other girls don’t remember what happened they where passed out like all of us where. Mean while Avery and Mulciber are actually coming by here later so we can all talk about it.-James Potter” 

He stared at the page and then looked up at them and nodded slightly before taking his seat. 

“What do you know that happened?” He asked. He shouldn’t be involved in this but he feels this might be what the adults are hiding? Or about anything that could help. 

He looked down at the book and got prepared to see what they had to say. 

—————

Avery laid in the hospital bed twitching uneasily. Why would Evan do that? Why... he- Evan— he just couldn’t process it and couldn’t help himself from covering his eyes with his hands. Harper who was sharing his hospital room with him along with someone else with a injury he didn’t know was there. 

Harper sitting on the bed with him on his right side, sitting up instead of lying down like him. Everything hurt! He had no energy... he hadn’t eaten in a day, hadn’t found any energy to do anything. His hair was messed up like he was some girl in a heart break... 

Everything thing was coming in all at once like a muggle steam train! He hates this more then anything else Why? It’s all he found that he could ask! 

He took a deep breath and let it out to no avail. Nothing was calming him down. His parents had yet to come and see him even if they did they would just say that he’s safe? How’s he safe? 

Was he with a psychopath the whole time? 

Was he being manipulated? 

Was something wrong with Evan? 

Did someone cast something on him? 

What if they did? 

What could he do to even try and undo it? 

Questions and questions and questions rolled through him over and over and over again! Fuck it all! Fuck life!! Why? Just-just- someone please make it stop!!! 

He-he-he can’t take this! He wanted to forget all of this!!! He wanted-he couldn’t-he didn’t know enough for that? Or did he...? 

No he didn’t. 

He wanted to scream! He wanted to see Evan but he also didn’t want to see Evan...would that even be good for him? Was he contemplating all this for nothing? He was in so much pain how would he even see Evan? 

He’s not in proper shape to that’s for sure. That’s really the only thing he knows for sure about anymore more. He feels alone... should he though? 

Merlin damn this thought process of grief!!!! Uhg! Fuck this stupid stupid brain! 

He took a deep breath and let some tears fall out of his eyes for once.


	18. Chapter 18

Petunia Evans had her hands crossed sitting at the edge of her sister's bed. Not her hospital bed but her real bed, the one at their home. 

She was just sitting there, with her thoughts, alone at home. They hadn’t been close since Snape came along... but she still loved her sister. At points in her life she tried to rekindle their old relationship only succeeding everyonce in a while. 

They would connection and then they didn’t. When they got to the hospital - and she saw what Lily looked like she paled. Her heart dropped to the center of the Earth practically. 

She was covered in blood - burnt blood that seemed caked on to her skin to the point Petunia felt that if someone touched it, Lily's skin would peel off. It was horrific and - it was Snape’s fault wasn’t it? 

Wasn’t the person who hurt her sister Snape’s friend from school? That’s what the wizard police said to them. 

She felt sick, what exactly were they really capable of? What in the hell kind of school doesn’t catch people before they do something like that...

It was sickening to the point it made you want to-to...she couldn’t finish the thought. 

Her sister must be traumatized from that. Lily probably wasn’t going to be Lily anymore which was a very sad thing. Lily could be kind but also very mean, she had anger issues, it kinda runs in the family. Lily wanted to be liked by everyone but also no one. 

She was going back to the wizarding hospital later today to see Lily again to switch off with her tired parents. That wasn’t for another two hours and she still had homework and had to worry about applying to a new job for work. 

She was not going to be able to handle her boss, always no matter what they were doing hitting on her for no reason. She didn’t like it and wanted it to stop so of course she would make it stop. 

She took a deep breath before standing up and walking out of her sister's empty room. 

She felt off, sad even. This made her regret not being nicer or more gentle with Lily, somehow she felt like she was gonna lose her. 

She knew she wasn’t going to but it felt like it. She would have never expected something like the to happen at her sister's school. Were things like that normal in the wizarding world? Just to hurt people like that? 

If it was she felt scared, they had that kind of horrible power. She wanted nothing to do with it if that was true. 

Petunia took a deep breath before going to get ready for the night she was going to spend with her sister. She even took the day off work for it. She wanted to be there for Lily even though they weren’t close as sisters. 

Her heart was heavy and gloomy as she went into her room and grabbed some comfortable but nice clothes to wear to the hospital. She got changed and decided to do a light amount of makeup on her face along with doing her usual hair style. 

After she was finished she started to pack things like money, some snacks, clothing, and hygiene products for her and her sister. The money she had was luckily the wizard money her parents had given her for this. 

They were quite interesting but she put it away in the bag she was bringing to the hospital. She decided to pack some of Lily’s favorite food that she probably hadn’t had in a few months due to school. 

After all it had been at least two months in and half at this point. She noticed when they got a letter from Lily their mon and dad would write back and send a little gift. It wasn’t anything important it was just some candy. 

She would get jealous but she had her own life to make. What’s the point of getting jealous of someone who can use Magic? Petunia could out do her and has been out doing her but no one noticed. Nor did they care. 

She just needs to be better then them and deal with it until it’s over. Until she can move out and actually be herself. She took a deep breath before setting the bag of things on the counter. 

—————

Snape was sitting in his hospital room with the four dumbass boys he has a rivalry with, and now Bannet who had just gotten here. She let them know that Aspen and Harper where on their way but will take a little while due to Avery's current state. 

He hated how Aspen had to suffer with his pain on days like this. It was quite cold outside and there was a very strong wind. It had started about an hour ago. He only knew about it because Remus pointed it out and showed him - what no he meant Lupin. 

Also he was watching the tapping of a branch on the window to help pass time to ignore the imbeciles in his room. He would read but he wasn’t in the mood to and he had read all the books he had cover to cover. Even that stupid mini author biography they put on the plastic book cover - what was that even called? 

Hm he’d have to find out. 

He glanced at the others and saw their faces and eyes all pointed towards the door so he turned around. Harper had brought Aspen into the room. He was in a wheel chair not looking so good. 

Severus noticed his eyes were a little red and puffy. He must have been crying, was it about Evan? Was he missing something - most likely. He did miss certain things here and there, usually when he was at Hogwarts he had his head in a book or was in his dorm doing his work. 

He flipped open his book to check what everyone was going to talk about. 

“Was anyone awake during what happened?- Remus Lupin 

I wasn’t, I hit my head after whatever caused us to be launched halfway down the hallway. -Harper Mulciber 

You seem like a tuff dude Mulciber I thought you would have stayed awake. -Sirius Black

Whatever Black. -Harper Mulciber

It might have been an explosion. -Beverly Bannet

Well the way Mulciber described being blown back it might have been -Remus lupin 

I mean Rosier does seem like a dark person and you know how the rest of the Black family is. Excluding a few people of course. Could he have planned that maybe? I don’t mean to sound judging at all in this moment by suggesting this. 

Just something with this seems familiar with this type of situation.- James Potter” 

He decided to add his own touch to the conversation finally. “Evan might seem to be a “dark” person but he isn’t. From all that I’ve seen come from him, he would probably find a way around this type of situation. Also I’ve seen him many times with his sleeves rolled up. He doesn’t have that mark that they all have.”

He looked back down at the book not bothering with those reactions. 

“He’s right, Evan was a very sweet person. He just shut out a lot of people out so he didn’t have to become one of them.-Aspen Avery

That’s what most of us do, we shut people out and stuck to a small group unless we're someone as popular as Macnair-Harper Mulciber 

I would have never guessed, sorry for my judgement then. -James Potter 

No it’s fine I can see how you could have thought that he would do something like this, the situation was pretty-wait did-did Mikoth not-is she not at the hospital? -Harper Mulciber 

I checked around for her-she’s-the nurse said she never even came in and" -Beverly Bannet. Her words cut off and he felt his heart sink. 

“She was the explosion” he said and he gripped the bed sheets in his hand. He looked up at everyone who were at pale and quiet. 

He noticed James Potters lips moving. He looked down at the book even though he felt very sick. 

“That’s why Evans isn’t talking-she saw it - Dorcas too. This-somethings very wrong-and I don’t-I just can’t point it to Rosier as it being his fault. -James Potter 

I-I did we cause this? By getting her riled up? Should we have-this would have never happened if we just let it play out. -Sirius Black” 

He was clearly shaking now, this was the thing their hiding-Evan wouldn’t have-no he wouldn’t have... not in a million years. 

He’s seen Evan nearly cry over even the mention of someone’s death. It was in their dorm room but not-not in public. 

“A few days ago I got my medical records-and it wasn’t like anything professor McGonagall said. She lied to me along with Dumbledore. I-I got mad at her but she never gave me an answer as to why. 

When I got my memories back from the accident it lined up-but it also didn’t line up. My magic doesn’t go haywire when I’m mad. Or else you four idiots would be dead by now.” He said. He looked up and noticed only a few people were looking at him. 

He gripped the sheets tighter. He looked back down at the book flipping the page. 

“So they’re lying to us now. How long have they been lying to us? -Remus Lupin

"Since we all got to school and before that. Dumbledore has never liked Slytherins, he hates us actually and shapes us into these things by making us seem to be the villain. We would probably be expelled by now if we didn’t have the protection that we get from our parents" -Harper Mulciber 

"That lines up actually, he’s always taught us to be very against you by saying little things here and there." -James Potter.

“At least we know what caused your hero complex Potter” he said and looked up to see a small tint of red of the Gryffindor's gloomy face. He bit the inside of his lip and looked back down at the book. 

“So we all know Dumbledore is hiding something now-he just won’t tell us what. God knows what will happen if we show that we know." -Harper Mulciber. He looked up at his friend. 

He had his arms crossed leaning on the wall. His eyes were down cast at the floor. Mulciber’s head was wrapped up in a bandage that went over his left eye and his left foot's pant leg was cut above the knee and was in a brace. 

He looked at Avery who was sitting in the wheelchair staring at the wall sideways. Bannet was on the other side of the door. 

He took a deep breath.

“I think I know someone who can get Lily to talk to her but it will be difficult to get her to help.” Severus said. He glanced down at the book. 

“Who?" -James Potter. He looked up at Potter. 

“Petunia Evans. She’s Lily’s sister, but she and I don’t get along.” He said he looked at James- P-Potters shocked face. 

————

Remus sat in the room waiting until Snape and Bannet returned with Evans's sister Petunia. He had never met Petunia but he knew from some of Evans's old rants they didn’t get along with each other. He didn’t care now but he did then. If Lily was mean how bad was Petunia? 

He couldn’t help himself but just had to ask that question. With all these discoveries about the adults something didn’t seem right even with this. Were they certain Rosier didn’t do anything? 

It would take a lot of work to look into it to find out if he did or not. It would be worth it to really see what’s behind the masks everyone wears. 

He didn’t expect Mulciber to share how they were treated and how they hid their emotions. It made sense somehow-just how he described it would be how Snape would react. He had never seen Snape properly smile about something while having his memories. 

It was very odd-but he couldn’t be the one to say that it was wrong that they were doing that. After all he hid something far more dangerous from everyone in the room. He took a deep breath as people started to clear out of the room, Peter said he was gonna go lay back down until tomorrow. 

He crossed his arms, his thoughts went all over the the place trying to process all that he a heard. Process the fact that one of the people he had gone to school with for five years-blew-bl- it was hard. 

This was a situation he wished he wasn't involved in. He felt sick and felt off, maybe it was the fact the full moon wasn’t so long ago. This wasn’t normal, and they were just kids, how would they even in the slightest be able to prove what happened if none of them but a few had actually seen what happened. 

If Dumbledore had done something to Rosier imagine what he could do to everyone else with the snap of his fingers. All of this was too much but also too little for any proof. It’s not like they could get a court case against Dumbledore. 

That would just be considered a joke. They would also need evidence gotten the legal way. All the steps they would all need to take to actually see. He put his hand to his mouth and took a deep breath thinking. 

Snape walked back into the room shutting it after mostly everyone had left. He had just walked Bannet back to her room. 

He guessed they would all continue talking about stuff. 

“Snape is there anything else you didn’t mention?” James asked out of the blue. He looked at James then at Snape who looked down at his book. 

“Sort of, Dumbledore is was on my parents will along with McGonagall to to take care of me. Even tho I have an aunt who is still alive who could take care of me.” Snape mentioned. The gears in his brain started to turn and he looked at Snape. Snape once again had trouble pronouncing certain letters in certain ways.

“Aren’t you related to the Prince family?” He asked, Snape read the page and looked up at him. He had a glint in his eyes knowing what he meant by that. 

“You think its because of the money... I currently have access to the vaults... but not really” Snape said, he looked back down at the book as Sirius added to the conversation. 

“You think Dumbledore after the money? Well if he even has the money from it?” Sirius asked. 

He looked over at his two friends who were looking at him and nodded. 

“Well that’s definitely something to add to the list. So we're going to need to-ok we just need to be quiet about this until we can actually get something going” James said. Snape looked down at the book and read what they had said and smirked. 

“Very smart of you Potter, I suppose were going to make a little spy group then?” Snape asked looking up at the three of them. He glanced at James face that currently had red on it. 

“Potter don’t get flatter over that” Snape added. James looked like he had just been rejected. Good for him, he deserved Severus more-he was getting ahead of himself.

“Did you just reject me? Looks like I can finally make a list of the times you will from now on.” James said clearly flirting with the Slytherin. Snape read from his book and it was clear his eyes had widened. 

“Don’t you dare make a list of it. I’m not letting you switch from Evans's to me and that’s final.”Snape said with a glare walking to his bed. 

“So does that mean I have I have a chance with you? We’ve already had our first kiss” Sirius said. He just sat back realizing he was going to be left behind if he didn’t try as well. 

“Don’t even use that against me Black, I also remember you got creepy on me in the bathroom. You don’t have a chance either,” Snape said giving Sirius a look. 

“I would ask if I had a chance but I don’t wanna push it” he spoke up and Snape read from his book then looked at him. His features were softer and he didn’t really answer back. 

Did that mean something or was he getting greedy? Either way-he felt that he might have a chance unlike his friends who were just complaining and making a new rivalry for themselves 

He smiled a little bit and glanced at Snape who had the slightest smile. It was quickly gone but he was happy he caught a glimpse of it. 

————


	19. Chapter 19

It had been another three days, three long and gloomy days. She had seen better, that was for sure. 

It had started to rain outside and storm for the past few days and every few hours it would clear. Sadly only after thirty minutes then it would go back to raining. Petunia was visiting her sister once again but staying the whole day and night because her parents couldn’t. 

She was sitting in one of the very uncomfortable chairs they had by the bed and she was wearing something comfortable that actually looked nice. She didn’t have many clothing like this that she could actually be comfy in. She was currently wearing an over sized sweatshirt that covered her whole chest and kept her warm. while she wore a long sleeved dark swamp green hoodie with a pair of comfortable slacks. 

Her blond hair was tied up and under a beanie with her bangs hanging out of it. Her parents didn’t think it looked good but she did. She actually felt physically comfortable in these clothes She couldn’t explain it but the bright color and wearing bright makeup made her uncomfortable. 

It made her want to cover up at every moment. It was weird that she even acted on it-but then again maybe she should just not care. She grabbed her gloves and slipped them on, because her hands felt like ice. 

She decided to go for a much needed walk around the hospital. She stood up and stretched her hands over her head before quietly walking out of the room. She knew her sister didn’t actually care if she was there so she didn’t need to let Lily know she was leaving. She opened the squeaky door and shut it behind her walking out into the hall. 

She started to walk down the hall calmly staying out of the way of the nurses and doctors who needed to get a patient by to surgery or to move them from room to room. It felt nice to stretch her legs but she had a few people looking at her like she was disgusting. She ignored it, wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last time. 

Everyone has always looked at her like that, it wasn’t new. She was different, she knew that by the way everyone else acted while she had to be fake to fit in. Meaning the normal girly girl guys wanted, or the cheerleading captain who dated the football quarterback. 

She wanted none of that, she wanted to have friends who she could actually talk to about things she liked, so she always put on a mean girl persona to keep people away. She honestly just suffered from depression but didn’t let it show. Well today she might be showing it with her clothing but she didn’t even bother caring. 

She couldn’t bring herself to care, to much was going on in her brain, and to much was happening in her life. She was working to go to collage even though her parents didn’t approve of it. She was also dealing with her sister being in the hospital and being enclosed to only knowing what she was. 

She put her hands in her pockets even though she already had her gloves on. She took a deep breath and kept walking down the long white hallways of the wizarding hospital. 

A patient with brownish blond hair with a mix of red walked by. God his face was covered in scars made from claw marks, maybe some type of attack? She didn’t know but when the boy looked over at her he seemed to recognize her... 

“Are you Petunia Evans?” The boy asked suddenly and she was taken aback. It took her a moment to respond, “Umm yes I am-can I help you?” She said gripping her hoodie from inside the pocket. 

“I go to school with Lily Evans and Severus Snape, my name is Remus Lupin. I was looking for you actually, I need your help with something.” The boy- Lupin said. She was still quite awkward about this whole situation but took a deep breath. She decided to pushed herself to see what she could to about it. 

“So you need to speak with me in private then?” She asked, Lupin nodded and gestured for her to follow him. 

She did so hesitantly and kept her distance, the boy was huge for only being in his sixth year of the wizarding school. He almost seemed intimidating, but there seemed to be a soft side to him. She followed him to-oh great it’s Snape's room. 

She had only been here once or twice to talk to him. Yeah they don’t get along but she wasn’t going to go and drop a tree branch on him. She was still annoyed about that. She knew he had grown up a lot in the past year but she just kept their little rivalry up to mess with him. 

It’s really their only way to communicate but it seems to work. They both know it’s a joke while not being a joke. 

Lupin opened the door and showed her the way in. It was a room filled with a lot of people to her surprise. There were eight in total, one girl and seven boys including the one who brought her here. They all glanced at her and when she came in with the boy with all the scars on his face. She felt uneasy. 

“My old question is if she’s a bitch like her sister, cause if she is I’m out. I’m not dealing with another homophobe.” The only other girl in the room. She looked at her curiously and paused for a moment. 

So that’s what Lily did at school-she sighed and shook her head before looking at the girl. 

“I’m not gonna excuse her actions, she’s a bitch and I get that first hand. I grew up with her.” She said board. The girl made a face of consideration? She didn’t know what to think of that. She just awkwardly stood at the door. 

“Can someone explain what you need me for exactly?” She asked very awkwardly. 

“Might be best if you step forward and let me close the door first” came from the boy with dark chocolate like skin, it was also very smooth other then a few cuts and scratches that just have been healing sense the whole indecent. 

She stepped forward and let him close the door. He was wearing clothing that looked like it would be more made for a nurse in the non magic world. She didn’t remember the word they called people who didn’t have magic. 

He also was pretty tall like Lupin who was 6’3 or somewhere around that. 

She noticed Lupin had went and sat with a group of three other boys who must be his friends. 

Snape stood up from his bed and his hair had grown completely back to its previous length maybe even longer. It was looking okay, so very clean and looked very healthy and straight to her surprise. It shaped his face very well. 

“We need your help with something but before we can explain we need you to wait until two more people to get here.” Snape informed. He of course had trouble speaking. She felt off about this whole situation, what plan? Jeez this was going to be troublesome wasn’t it? 

————

Now when people tell you that something happened doesn’t mean it did happen. That’s the truth with this situation. No one is telling them what actually happened unless they saw it. But due to that they figured it out and might have just solved what one of the villains was going to do. Or at least attempting. 

Everyone had ended up coming up with even more situations that might just suggest what’s happening with this. People were playing all of them like chest pawns in more of a game of war. But it felt like it was more of a hand sculpting project instead of normal chest pieces before they play the game. 

This is all just the sculpting. It was forming and shaping into something very terrible and they all knew it. Dumbledore was building some of them up to be murderers... 

That didn’t sit well with Aspen, he felt very cold. That meant him or Harper was next? 

He of course could figure it would be one of them or one of their fellow Slytherin. He to God hoped it wouldn’t get any worse, his nerves were horrible and he felt very scared. 

He didn’t want to feel these things, he rather wishes he could be strong but no. No he was anything but strong, that was very clear about how he’s handled a lot of things in his life. 

He was always drowned in his head, ever since he was young. He found day dreaming about other people and other places better then this reality when it needed to be. Hell it helped when he wanted to feel things other then pain as well. It could and couldn’t be enjoyable at points, but right now he honestly wished he was drowned in his day dreams instead of this scary thought process. 

He wouldn’t care if you labeled him a coward, he is one. Always has been a coward, he’s never been strong. How was he supposed to be strong when he got the short end of the stick in life so early on. It made him shiver and want to hide. 

He may have people around him, but it wasn’t helping. Being apart of anything like this is stupid and foolish when you're nothing but a scared child. 

He took a deep breath and shifted his positions as people filled in Evans's sister about the whole situation. He felt really cold like he wanted to tell them everything but he didn’t know how they would feel about it. 

He got lucky with Harper, he didn’t need the others to turn on him for that. 

Honestly is was the only thing he was able to make his mind up on. That happened to be the fact that he knew Evan was under something in that moment when they were in the hall. You could just sense it in that moment, he didn’t know how that was possible. 

Magic is an interesting thing but also very dangerous at times. Evan was one of many examples of that. 

He gripped his sleeve bunching them up over his hands all together. Scared like a cat honestly. He just didn’t have the fighting claws like them. 

What was he supposed to do? 

He could and couldn’t find the answer. The answer to him was to get his Evan back even if that meant he had to hide Evan in his house. He had to admit he loved him to death and had a lot of faith in him. But why could he find the energy to deal with this? 

Soon enough the door slid open and two people stepped inside the room. His finally came out of his thoughts and looked at who it was. 

“Lunar?” Aspen asked noticing him. 

“Afternoon to you too dear white hare” the boy said taking a dramatic bow. He takes a deep breath, he hated that nickname. Most of the Slytherins in his year who were close to him used it or called him a bunny rabbit. 

He looked at Lunar and gripped his coat he had on because of the cold but didn’t respond to the bait of the teasing.

“Whooo Duvall welcome to the club finally!” Black cheers getting up to greet him. He didn’t know they knew each other like that. 

That’s definitely an interesting combination, a trans man and Sirius Black of all people. The chaotic Gryffindor who hated Slytherins with a passion.

...So did Black invite Lunar? 

—————

Remus looked up and saw that Frank and Duvall had arrived. He didn’t know why Sirius invited Duvall but he wasn’t going to judge. Okay maybe he might a little bit, this wasn’t like Sirius. Maybe he didn’t know Sirius all that well? Padfoot did seem to have that fake smile type of personality some days. 

He took a deep breath and sat up in his chair. He still wanted to personally see if Sirius was okay - he was originally going to do that but it never happened. Everything got in the way and he just forget about it. But now with this whole problem everything is going to go horribly. 

God he wished he wasn’t enveloped in this, it makes it worse that he was a werewolf too. So was Dumbledore going to expose him? Was it a plan to expose him? If it was, he was in horrible danger and so were the people around him like Padfoot and Prongs even Wormtail. 

Of course they had all learned to be animagi due to him and the risk of people maybe accidentally dying. Wait-what if they used that to their advantage...but then again maybe they might get caught by everyone and someone would figure out he’s... 

He sighed and readjusted in his chair. He felt kind of empty. They were children trying to do what? Save someone they think is good? How were they supposed to fight against something bigger then them if they have minimal proof of it. It’s not like they could run from it or fight back. 

They aren’t exactly smart enough for it. He gripped his pants tightly ignoring everyone around him. He could feel the atmosphere in the room. It was gloomy, filled with confusion, sadness, loss, and most of all doubt. 

Just glancing at Avery he could see the coldness on his face but his eyes were filled with loss and fear. He must have been closer with Rosier then he thought. 

He glanced at Harper who wasn’t showing his emotions but he wasn’t looking at anyone. He was looking out the window with his eyes following wet droplets falling of the edge it the windowsill. It was clear he was processing things and was definitely traumatized. He never paid attention to the Slytherin but he was now, he is human and is acting on his own level of how he can handle it. So he won’t judge it. He has no right to. 

His eyes shifted to Bannet. She was sitting on the floor staring at paper she had in her hand. It look liked a muffle card his mother would send him on holidays that he couldn’t see her. It seemed to be a get well card tho, that was nice of her family to do. 

She seemed as gloomy as he did, maybe she felt like she caused it because the girl was her target. He took a deep breath and then shifted his sight to his friends who were all talking with Duvall. He wasn’t jealous about it but it seemed like they were lightening up with the conversation. 

Especially Sirius. He took another deep breath and shut his eyes. He felt cold, so cold. He wrapped his arms around himself and faced his head down into his lap. 

God they were just kids... being trained to be what? Murderers? Or was they supposed to fight against each other like the white knights they were supposed to be?! 

He was a freak! He knew that! But he didn’t need to be some hero!!! He didn’t want to be a hero! He just wanted a normal life! He couldn’t kill someone! He couldn’t be someone’s hero! Weren’t werewolves the villains? 

Some type of pedophile right?! That’s what they’re always called no matter what... no one would ever understand unless they were it. People would look at him horribly if they knew-his friends don’t fully get it-they would doubt him in a second if someone approached him to be any thing right? 

“So if Dumbledore is a villain, is Voldemort still a villain?” Someone asked. 

Everyone looked up, “of course Voldemort is still a villain. He kills peoples in dangerous ways.. they’re both villains” Snape said to his surprise. Everyone looked at him. 

“Weren’t you going to join him though?” Frank asked to his surprise. 

“God you Gryffindors only assume the worst from Slytherin don’t you. No he wouldn’t neither would Aspen, Evan or I! He murders people and finds it funny that most of his soul is gone or something” Harper Mulciber said in a harsh tone. 

“Oh please everyone knows the rumors that the pureblood families from Slytherin are on his side, I bet you Snape is still in contact with Lucius Malfoy, last summer he went school supplies shopping with him. I saw it myself.” frank argued back. 

He gripped his chair a little annoyed. “Did you really have contact with Malfoy?” He spoke up looking at Snape. Snape had his book open. 

“I ran into him, I was alone and I caught up with him. Yes I’ve been in contact with Malfoy, but I haven’t been talking about what you think we’ve been talking about. I’ve been asking him about different positions in the ministry or around that I might be abl tto get after school.” He took a breath before continuing. 

“I don’t want a muggle job because I know I’m not skillled in anything from the muggle world, I also now have a disability that people would turn away which gives me even more reason to stay away from it. I also don’t want to learn math, my father always complained about how stressful it was and I would kindly like to pass on that.” Snape said adding a little joke on the end. 

That was the clearest he had Snape talk in a while, that was nice but it explained a lot. 

“Makes since...but I’m not fully going to trust any of you” Frank said and Remus stood up to stand in front of him. 

“We held the same stupid prejudice against all of them. But it’s not worth it, they’re not bad-they’ve been shaped that way and we need to treat them like any other person.” He said before taking a deep breath. 

“I’m going for a walk.. I need to clear my head” he said he noticed Avery looking at him. 

“Mind if I join you by any chance?” Avery asked. He looked at curiously but shrugged and walked out of the room with the albino boy following behind him. No one questioned it and just let them go for a walk. 

They started walking down the hall and stayed quiet for many minutes before Avery suggested they go to the balcony area, it was open but also had a cover and they figured no one would be out there. It was weird a hospital had something like that though. 

——————

Evan screamed as pain shot threw his body in all directions, it was the worst pain he had ever felt. He felt sick, tired and just wanted this pain to stop. 

“What made you do it?! Tell us kid or we’ll make sure this drives you crazy” a auror said but he couldn’t respond and the spell was constant. It was over loading his heart and it felt like he was under so much all at once. 

All he could do was scream while his voice wen hoarse. “D-dum—spel” he managed only for the curse to stop and one of the men step in front of him next thing he knew was the man kicked him in the head where his eye was and he was out. 

—————


	20. Chapter 20

Remus stood on the balcony area along with Aspen Avery not exactly standing in the harsh rain but instead under the cover of the roof. It was awkward and quiet, not the normal type of atmosphere you’d expect to have with people, unless you didn’t know them. 

Avery leaned back on the side wall of the balcony sliding down it to sit down. 

“Lupin, I have a few questions for you” Avery said, it caught him off guard of course. He straightened up and looked at him nervously. 

“Ask away” he said trying to come off as calm, of course it didn’t sound that way. 

“You're the thing that screams in the shrieking shack aren’t you.” Avery said as more of a statement then anything else. That definitely caught him off guard. He gripped his pants tightly. 

Avery knew? How.. he was so careful.. no he just had to play it off as though he wasn’t. 

“You're crazy. That’s just a myth some of the people from Hogsmeade came up with to scare children.” He stated. Oh dear this was trouble alright, maybe he shouldn’t have gone on a walk with Avery... 

“No reason to lie, it’s obvious but not that obvious, takes a lot of concentration and attention to detail to figure it out and be sure.”

“I just wanna be sure by you letting me know I’m right. Sense I know I pay close attention to a lot of details and so does Severus I would suggest either cleaning up your act of hiding it or tell him before he figures it out. I won’t mention a word of it but knowing Sev and his mind, he gets very prying. 

He’s done it to me and Evan and still-“he stops talking. And that's when you know when someone has just revealed something they shouldn’t have. So what? Did that mean that Aspen Avery was in a relationship with Evan Rosier? 

Oh he had something on Avery to keep him quiet. Something big, he could ruin his whole life just by releasing the information he now had. Of course so could Avery if he just opened his mouth to do so but now he knew something equal in value anout the Slytherin.

Holy fuck he’s gonna be okay. 

“So you and Rosier are in a relationship?” He prodded. Avery's face lit up and got gloomy at the same time. He knew how that felt, it was fear, sadness, loss and embarrassment. 

“I-yes we are. I’ll be truthful to you about that, but-just-don’t tell anyone.” Avery said clearly telling the truth. That was a good sign, Avery was very open but closed about it. 

They both had something to keep each other quiet. “Were you going to threaten me?” He asked to make sure. 

“No! No I wasn’t, I just-it’s for Severus. He’s important to me, like my brother. You like him right? If you do you need to let him know before he starts to pry.” Avery said looking down at his lap only to at some points glance up at him. Never for very long time though. 

“How in the hell did you figure out I liked him?” He asked hesitantly.

“You kinda make goo goo eyes at him when he does something you’d probably see as cute” Avery said fidgeting with his hands nervously. 

“I do?” He asked with his nerves hitting him again causing butterfly’s in his stomach. He most likely had a good tint of red in his face. 

“Yes you do, you also seem to hate Evan. May I ask why?” 

“Well I-I kind of thought that Rosier might be after Snape. But I was clearly wrong. I didn’t know you two were together.” He said pursing his lips together making a weird face. 

“Oh jeez.” Avery said finally looking up at him. 

“Honestly I can see the territory issues with the whole werewolf thing. I just didn’t expect them like how you seem to have them” 

“That's-yeah that actually happens. I don’t like it when any one touches him honestly.” He said awkwardly. Avery smirked slightly, it was barely noticeable.

“Ya know Lupin you aren’t a bad person.” Avery stated. 

“Im- I’m not?” He asked 

“No, no you aren’t. You have a lot to offer, just some “faults” society would consider bad. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with you.” Avery complemented. 

He looked at him surprised, really surprised at this. He felt better, almost happy but couldn’t bring himself to be happy. His emotions today were all over the place and it was messing with his head too much. Sooner or later he would be out of energy because of all of this stuff going on. 

“How can you say that with a straight face - I’m literally a walking horror story you would tell your kids at night about” he said. 

“You're human, you have emotions and you only turn into that one night a month. I don’t think you’ve ever hurt anyone, at least from what I know.” 

“But I’m-“

“Stop doubting yourself. It won’t help you or make me change my mind. I’ve seen plenty in my life to know when someone’s bad or when someone’s good. You're definitely not one of the bad ones. Not like a few others I’ve met - you're actually the nicest one I’ve met." 

“I am?”

“Yes, you are a bit of a coward but you aren’t going around threatening to bite people." 

“Well that’s normal isn’t it?”

“Yes for most people, some werewolves like Fenrir Greyback... aren’t so good. I-I met Greyback and he is a whole other level of terrifying. If I- if I did have Evan with me when I met him I probably would have been perfect prey.” 

“Whether it was for a snack or to turn me-I don’t think I would-it’s just terrifying.” Avery said looking down. He felt his heart turn heavy, he walked over and sat next to the chronically ill boy. Avery looked at him and then back down in his lap. 

“Greyback was the one who turned me.” He said. He just said it and let it out. 

Avery looked up at him surprised, he could see he wanted to know more but seemed to not want to ask. 

“I-that’s horrible. I’m sorry-that, the fact that-I’m sorry that’s just so sick of someone to do. Not if it was accidental but if it was on purpose and it normally is with him-then Merlin I’m sorry." 

He took a deep breath and looked up at the cover of the balcony. 

“I don’t remember it, I just know he bit me because my father revealed he was a werewolf to the counsel during a trial after he was captured. He was suspected of being a werewolf and torturing children.” He said starting how it happened. 

Avery looked at him curiously and with sorrow, definitely feeling bad for him. He took a deep breath to keep himself calm. He doesn’t talk about how it happened, not even his friends know how he became a werewolf or how his parents treated him about it. Honestly he didn’t know why he was telling Avery about it. 

But it was a moment where he felt like he could so he is acting on it. 

“My father suggested they wait until the full moon to prove that Greyback was a werewolf. That was the first strike.” He took another deep breath before continuing along with the story. 

“So once the full moon came around the next night, he transformed and that was the proof. Then they continued the trial. My father works with dark creatures, being the one to get rid of them. He decided to say “werewolves are nothing but monsters”. That’s when Greyback decided to get his revenge. For those words. 

He escaped the cell he was in and found out where my family lived. 

One night he snuck into through my window and bit me - I was about six and from there on I’ve never have seen a full moon since.” He finished. 

He couldn’t look at Avery, but he had gotten out a part of it all. That was a good and something that he needed to happen. It only lifted a little before the regret started to settle itself in the place of the lighten feeling. He shut his eyes and traced over a few scars on his forearm that were showing. 

He heard Avery take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I can only imagine a small amount of what that’s like. I’m sorry I even brought this up or said you had to even tell Severus. That’s your decision and I just pushed it. That was a dick move” 

“It’s fine.”

“No-no it’s not fine, not at all. That’s like telling someone to force coming out of the closet, as the muggles would put it.” 

“Well what else do you want me to say about it? I’m not mad, and I may feel a little panicked about it - but that doesn’t mean that I’m mad.”

“Oh please it would be fine if you were mad, but you really should be. Things like that will make it so your pushed around by people. Don’t take it lightly-you're weak enough as is Lupin.”

“Hey-I’m not weak!”

“Yes you are, have you seen how your friends used to push around Severus and how you just sat back? Or is it the fact that you just won’t stand up for take charge for yourself?” Avery stated. He pursed his lips tightly together, somewhat in a pout when it really wasn’t one. 

“...”

Avery makes a face and sighs, “That’s what I thought. Come on let’s head back before they all get suspicious. 'Cause god knows what Harper will say about it, that fujoshi has problems” Avery gets up. 

Fujoshi? What does that mean? 

Oh god who knows he’s not gonna ask-he’s probably not gonna wanna know. 

—————

Evan sat in black room, there was no light. Not even even the smallest amount that could shine in through a crack in a wall or a door. 

Nothing. 

What was he supposed to do, he was bleeding very badly from all the torture everyone had been happily doing to him. The cuts on his body were deep, and wide. He couldn’t see or feel his eye or the muscles around it. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if he will lose full sight in it. He took a deep breath of the thick musty air and just laid on the ground. 

He had to wonder what was Aspen thinking of him? Did he-does he hate him? 

If he did that would be completely valid, it would also be valid if Severus and Harper hated him. Why wouldn’t they? They had to know by now what he did. 

He hated himself for it so there’s no reason for mercy in anything that was happening to him. In fact this probably was too little for such a big act. 

But why did he-he’s never lost control of his anger like that nor even thought about killing someone as the solution. The only thing he would want is a explanation as to why he did. But he didn’t deserve that. 

He moved best he could with his very injured body to be in a more comfortable situation. The side of his face was practically covered in dirt while his clothing was severely ripped. 

It was freezing but he blocked out the senses to just have the littlest of comfort. He heard the iron door knob of the giant door screech open letting a huge amount of light. 

“Evan Rosier you will get a trial in front of the court while the witness testify your position in this situation. The trial will be in one week. You will get a lawyer provided by your father and mother Mr. and Mrs. Rosier. 

You will only get two sessions to speak with him. Good day.” The man announced, he was too tired to look at who had announced it to him but they sounded older then he expected. 

He didn’t feel like letting it affect him, he was too empty to. His mind was slowly decaying and becoming more and more dark and toxic to itself. The flame of Latin he once carried was slowly dying, becoming something he had not wanted it once to. 

He felt heavy, like he could do anything. It was so dark, and when there was light it just bothered him. Was the darkness supposed to be this comforting out of everything. 

He was so very tired and was out of answers for all his asking why to himself over the past few weeks. He did wonder how so little time broke him, but he realized it was everything. 

Every little thing he had ignored or gotten over in his life. It all flooded back to him in only a few moments. Like a bunch of dark deep and scary water. 

Was that what this was? Drowning himself alive? 

If it was he could answer it or fix it. He was helpless and broken. If he had any chance of ever getting out of this maybe over time it would heal into something better. He of course didn’t have any faith in that. 

He would be here alone, for who knows how long. He wasn’t going to try anymore. He was loosing it all, he tried to stay strong in the beginning but-but it didn’t hold up. 

Every time he tried to look in his mind for those clogging memories they moved away from him like they never happened. 

Did-did they never happen? 

Was it all fake? 

No-please no, they weren’t! But if they where-he had created it in his head... 

He had no idea how much time was passing on his self debate on weather it was or it wasn’t. The giant iron door screeched open and he flinched at the noise and tried to curl up for any ounce of protection. Or just a feeling other then fear and pain. Anything... 

Please-please anything... he can’t.. he just.. no.. 

He felt himself starting to shake and shiver shutting his eye tightly. He wrapped his arms around his legs and chest getting as close to himself as he could with his wounds. 

He felt arms grab him, big male arms. They unraveled him and held him up. He wasn’t going to look... he shouldn’t. The faces of them already haunt him. 

Maybe he had been crying out of the only eye he could feel or not it didn’t matter. 

The hands holding him up started to pull him out of the darkness. He could feel the atmosphere changing. 

No he didn’t want to leave the darkness! It was the only protection he had!! He squirmed in the man's arms trying to reach back into the darkness as if someone was going to grab his hand and pull him back in. Of course nothing was there and he was pulled out into the light. Where he most certainly did not ever be... 

He stopped fighting... he knew he wouldn’t get back until whatever was going to happen was over. He kept his eyes shut as he felt the hands were replaced with magic that glided him across the ground dragging his feet. 

Soon enough he was thrown into another room alone with the door shut behind the person who put him there. He opened his good eye as he feel to the floor. He noticed he was in a room with a table and bed.. the room was dark but had a light. 

Next thing he knew the door opened again and he flinched moving back with what little strength he had. He ended up underneath the table that resided in the room before he had gotten there. He looked at who had come in the room....

It was..it was Lucius... 

“Rosier... what are you doing under-oh my... what have they done to you..” Lucius said.. He didn’t want to talk, he wanted stayed under the table. He didn’t care if it was someone he knew, the darkness under the table was better. 

Lucius bent down, he was wearing a fancy blue robe that matched his silver eyes well and his very ghostly like blond hair. His face was pointy and handsome. But he never cared for it. He moved back more, until one of the cold medal table legs touched a bare part of his back. 

He made a slight noise at the pain of where the now closed wound had been. The skin was very tender and it hurt very bad. 

God he was like a scared puppy, but he felt nothing at this point other then wanting to be left alone with himself. 

“I would suggest you come out of there and get yourself together Rosier. You a pureblood and you should be acting very strong. You're letting them get to you and see into you.” Lucius said. He didn’t move, or more like he couldn’t. 

“Can we at least talk Evan?” Lucius said in a softer tone. 

“O-okay." he said best he could with his soar jaw and face. 

“I can get you out of this if you want me to, I can make it so this charge on you disappears like it was nothing. Just tell me what happened.” 

“Tell-tell you what happened?”

“Yes I need you too”

“Y-you should already know... I killed someone... I hurt someone... I’m not worthy of getting out of this..” 

“Don’t even go there. Now tell me exactly what happened and get out from under this pathetic table” Lucius said before taking out his wand before casting a spell that pulled him violently out from under the table. 

He helped loudly in pain curling up on the floor as his wounds started to leak blood once more. 

“Rosier you must remember your a pureblood not some weak child!” Lucius grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up to his feet. He had no strength to hold himself up or fight what was happening. 

Malfoy dragged him over to the bed before walking to the door and leaving for about ten minutes. He came back in with an older man wearing wearing a hat from the 50s? Interesting. 

The man also had a softer face but there was no trust in his eyes or body language. 

“Mr. Malfoy why did you request me?” The man said, his voice was quite old. 

“I want you to help me heal some of his wounds. He’s bleeding out badly and I would like my cousin in stable condition to continue living.” Lucius said..

As they began to heal him and move him over he slowly passed out due to the amount of blood loss...

——————

Severus sat on his bed reading a book after the meeting. Or well notes he had made to write down about the situation as a whole, and who was involved and with what. It was the best this time do but he would have to hide it properly so no one gets their hands on it. 

He had a feeling some people who were going to be involved in this whole mess weren’t going to be trustful. He should share much of what he knows with anyone. With all his memories back it was making him question what he would need to do to help Aspen keep Evan safe. 

He had places where he could hide Evan himself. But there was the fact that the ministry could just check all there homes and find out where they are. How could you hide someone in a smart place from a lot of dark people?

He doesn’t exactly know how many places everyone has, and he doesn’t know if Lucius was going to try and approach Evan. If he was they had a problem, after all Lucius Malfoy would be the type to get others involved in his stupid cult. 

He was one of those victims but got out of it by not showing interest or just playing nice until he just avoided the hell out of him. He got up and put the book in his luggage under some clothing and then in a shirt to hide it. 

Once it seemed well hidden where someone wouldn’t just pull it out or it could be knocked out of the bag and on the floor to be noticed, he walked back to his bed with a small puff of a sigh. 

He laid down on his bed sideways facing away from the close white door. He shivered slightly from the cold bed sheets seeping through his clothes. He decided he grabbed the big comforter blanket he was given by the nurses. Of course he covered himself with it to keep warm. 

He was tired, and just wanted to sleep for hours and hours on end. Who wouldn’t after all this mess. He hoped Evan was okay and they needed to find a way to get him out of the ministry’s clutches. It was going to be one of the only chance before Evan was sent to Azkaban or sentenced to death right away. They would need to act fast. 

They needed to be fast and smart to pull off a dangerous act that could get them all in trouble and put them in the same situation as Evan. God how is all this karma hitting all of them all at once. They didn’t even get a warning before this shit show began. 

First he becomes deaf, then he looses his memory and now his friend kills someone... and somehow they all believe it? Just from some words or was it the discussion? Did everyone just have the same dreaded feeling with it, the one that just comes with it? 

He definitely had it, he wouldn’t be able to speak for other people though. He knew Aspen had it from the look on his face and his stature that had worsened more then he would expect from him. He felt worse because of it as well, he couldn’t imagine what that was honestly like. 

He curled up into a tighter ball on his side to get warmer. The fact he couldn’t hear the sound of the sheets moving with his body but could feel the coldness of them along with the warmth was odd. He never knew how something like this would feel like this, he loved the feel of warmth the most. 

Other wise he was shivering so badly. He took a deep breath and let it all out at once before getting his breath back on track. He shifted in his bed and decided to cheat a little bit, he summoned his wand and cast a simple warming spell. After a few tries of trying to pronounce it right he finally got it to work. 

He then made sure that it went back to where it was summoned from. At least he could be comfortable and warm.

—————  
Lunar kicked his feet slightly while walking in the hospital to get something to eat, everything everyone explained was terrifying. Why would he want anything to do with it...

He was being dragged into something crazy and way over his head. But if he could save someone maybe it will be worth It. He could finally show his transphobic sister what he truly is. 

He’s so sick of the comments on his binder and his body shape from everyone. 

‘Oh love it’s just a faze, don’t worry you’ll be my little girl again soon’ 

‘Oh come one don’t be a tomboy’

‘He’s too curvy to be a boy!’

‘His figure and face are freakishly girly’

Or 

‘I’m not going to call you that even if you were crying and begging me too, my god you're a freak for even thinking you could be a man.’ As his sister would say.

There were a lot more insults from a lot more people but it’s the best option not to think of it. So he doesn’t get all gloomy that is. Who wants to ruin an already weirdly spent day? Man it was the middle of the night and he was going to the cafeteria for food...

Man some muggle orange juice and some type of sandwich sounds really good. He hasn’t eaten since lunch because McGonagall took them to the hospital and is letting them stay for their friends. 

He should have stopped in the Great Hall for a bit to eat before coming, or at least packed something to go. He got lucky he had a good amount of money on him when they left. 

He headed down the quiet hall ways of the hospital, barely anyone was around or noticed. Besides McGonagall was going to come and get them later anyway, he really just needed to eat. Or else he was going to get very angry very fast. 

He stalked down the halls using his silent foot step movement he had mastered when sneaking out of his dorm to get some peace. He might be a man by heart, doesn’t mean he enjoyed the company of the men in the dorm. 

One of his roommates Augustus Rookwood would often stay up late doing Merlin knows what behind those curtains. It often made him shiver. He kept walking along the corridor that was more dark and didn’t have as much light as the others. 

Most of the hospital doors in the hall way were private rooms and had either the door shut or just about open to see into them. He didn’t wanna stick around this area for long so he moved a lot faster and got the fuck out of there. 

Something was not right in the hall way and he didn’t wanna stick around to know what. He looked behind him seeing a shadow like figure move like smoke behind him. His eyes widened and he booked it down into another hall way. 

He looked behind him again while he was running and ran straight into someone... someone tall and... muscular.

He shaking moved back and looked up at who it was-

—————

Evan opened his eye to a very bright light causing him to immediately shut his eyes again. It caused his eye to sting painfully and he groaned from the pain along with the other very stiff and sore parts of his body. 

Once he was able to open his eye he noticed he was in a whole new room.. the room was more like a office of one of the employees of the ministry... he awkwardly shifted his head to look around it, and cautiously in fear of someone being around. Only for his eyes to land on a man. 

A man in his early 30s to be standing at a wooden desk setting down a glass of alcohol with a slight slam to it. He focused his eyes on the man again, he somehow seemed familiar even though he had never met him before. But he didn’t trust him. He tried to get up and get up fast but he seemed to have forgotten all of his wounds and other internal injuries. 

He quickly feel to the ground causing him more pain and a loud noise. He knew he couldn’t get away so he decided to curl up in a ball and cover his head. What were they going to do to him?! 

Where did they take him? 

What did Lucius do to him?

Who was that other older man?

Why can’t he walk?! 

Someone please help him!! He doesn’t want to be tortured anymore! Someone please put him out of his misery! 

Help! Help please... 

“Evan Rosier, good you’re awake.” He heard the man say as he walked forward. He felt the heavy steps towards him that were also soft due to the type of shoe he was wearing. He huddled closer to himself more terrified now. 

“Lucius was right they broke you a good amount, how disappointing. In only two weeks as well..” the man said. His voice was familiar but not to the person he was thinking of. That persons voice was a lot more strained and weak like. 

He didn’t want to look up.. he didn’t want to know who they were.. he just wanted to be in the darkness again... the only thing that could make everything okay.. 

The footsteps stopped right by his head. He felt the weight of the person's feet shift like he was kneeling down next to him. He started to shake slightly but tried to conceal it so he wouldn’t get hit for it. 

“Dumbledore's already torturing a new set of children, I just didn’t think he would go this far..” the man said as he touched his shoulder. He moved away as fast as he could. Of course he didn’t get far at all and hurt him self. 

He want listening to the man and didn’t want to.. he was to over whelmed with fear. “You poor child, I need you to lay back down on the sofa so I’m going to have to levitate you.” The man said. 

A few seconds later the man had stood up and taken a few steps back and levitated him back onto the sofa that had now gone cold. 

“Mr. Rosier you can stop hugging yourself, I won’t do any thing to you.” The man said and then there was the sound of wood hitting the floor of the office carpet. He must have tossed his wand onto the ground. 

He lessened his grip slightly, looking up at the man. He shakily turned his head to where the noise had accrued and as he had thought, the wand was on the ground.

It was a very dark color but fancy wand with plenty of detail. It was hard to make out the detail because his only working eye was bugging out slightly. As if it was a muscle spasm. 

He shifted to look at man, it was quite painful to but he still did. He still was holding himself close together but not like before, he didn’t trust this guy. 

“I’m Aaron Gibbon, You don’t know me but I’m a friend of the Malfoy’s.” the man announced being quiet and gentle with his voice as to not give him a head ache. He still didn’t trust him and was confused as to why Lucius didn’t leave him there... he really should have.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update dudes, I have been busy with air of stuff with school and health problems. I was unmonitored before cause of depression but I’m a lot better and now I can write a lot more!

Severus stretches as he opened his eyes to a cold and dark room. He didn’t know what time it was nor could he bring himself to care. He wrapped the big fluffy sheets and blanket around himself still very tired. His body was sore and over all done with sleeping in this kind of bed. 

He wanted to go home and sleep in his own comfortable bed. He wanted to be home where his father was enjoying a cup of coffee after working at the mill and where he could be having a nice conversation with him. 

He took a deep cold breath with the warmth of the memories dissipating into darkness. He felt his heart fill up with dread as his eyes started to water. It was his fault... if he hadn’t of gotten mad maybe things wouldn’t have ended up like this. 

If he was present at school maybe Evan wouldn’t have gone off on that muggleborn. He just felt he was to blame, it was the first little push to a whole bunch of dominos. It only takes one to make them all come down. 

He turned and laid on his back as hot tears formed in his eyes causing a burning feeling and blinked them as the tears came flowing out. He took a deep breath but it felt like it wasn’t enough so he kept trying to get more and more air in his lungs. 

It was to heavy! He wanted it to go away, he gripped his fists at his sides tightly and he felt like he wanted to punch a wall. He moved his leg up and then pushed it back down because he felt trapped. 

He couldn’t explain it, there was this weight in the room, a very dark one at that. He felt mad, tired, and sad. All the emotions where mixing together.

He held his hands over his eyes as he screamed. Even though to him it was a silent scream! That just made it worse! He wanted to know he was screaming! He wanted to hear it and not just feel the breath leaving his lungs!!! 

LET ME HEAR IT! THIS ISN'T FAIR! ITS MY VOICE LET ME HEAR IT! PLEASE! PLEASE... then he felt a needle go into his skin... and every thing went black.. 

————

Remus walked into Snape's room to visit him, he had been told earlier that he wasn’t allowed to visit him before but sense Snape was waking up he was now allowed to. He didn’t know why he was coming in here now but he was. He kept thinking about what Avery said, about how it would affect him if he lies... but if he also tells the truth about how it’ll affect him. 

He honestly couldn’t tell you what he was going to do in this type of situation. But instead maybe just spending time with Snape was better. He heard that some of the doctors had fixed some problems with Snape, he hoped it went well. Even if it was the smallest of scars that got healed. 

When he walked inside the room Snape was just coming too, in the state people get when they’re falling asleep but also waking up. When he walked inside he notice that Snape's eyes locked on him. 

He made eye contact with the Slytherin and offered him a small smile. Snape sat up onto his elbows while his hair that had grown out to a very long length was tangled and messy. 

“Why are you here Lupin?” Snape said completely clearly. He looked at him in surprise, he didn’t even have a different tone. He was shocked, so they fixed his speech, that was good. He also noticed part of the scar on Snape's face was healed. 

He walked over to the desk that Snape's book was set on and handed it to him. Then began to speak, “I came to see you, just to hang out I suppose. You were being healed earlier so I couldn’t come and see you, also your voice is different, you don’t mess up anymore, I think...” he said and Snape read it as he spoke. 

“I don’t?” Snape asked looking up at him. He shook his head to let him know. Snape seemed to have a small bit of joy in his eyes. He still couldn’t hear but it seemed being able to have a small amount of normality made him happy. 

That was nice to see, he hopefully would remember that look on his face. He even wanted a photo of it-did that sound creepy-probably sounded creepy... he bit a small part of his inner cheek and walked over to a chair in the room. 

“It’s weird they didn’t mention any thing about healing me.. especially while I was asleep.” Snape said in a questioning tone. He made this small cute face while he was doing it, his eyebrows were scrunched together while he bit the inside of his lip making a gapped place where his teeth where showing. 

He shouldn’t focus on that but instead he should focus on the fact a that no one told Snape what they did. He gave him a concerned look, he wanted to give him a hug. 

“How are you feeling?” He decides to ask after a few moments of silence. This had to be quite awkward, it was for him but he couldn’t imagine what it was for Snape. 

Snape looked down at his book before he spoke. “I’m not sure, I’m tired though" Snape said sounding a lot like he used to. He tilted his head a little bit. 

“Maybe you should eat something, that might give you the strength you need to wake up. If that’s what you want to do.” He folded his hands together leaning forward on he lap. 

“I’m not hungry, I don’t feel like I have an appetite. If I did I probably would be eating something.” Snape said after reading the page once more. Snape glanced up at him with a very tired look in his eyes. He looked physically and emotionally drained. 

He could see how Snape was tired, he was tired himself. Everything that was going on is just proof of that. He didn’t want to think about any of it though, he really didn’t want to. 

“Well maybe you should get some more rest?” He said calmly hoping Snape would consider that. He could see the drain in the other boy's features. How he was so tired he looked like he would faint if he got up to do something. It was all to familiar for him tho as well. 

He had often times found himself in that physical draining feeling. After the full moon of course but other times when it was no where near the full moon. Some days he just felt so bored and tired. It was that horrible tired that made you want to sleep even if you had just slept for hours on end. It was a weird loop that would happen every few weeks. It kind just kicks in and makes itself at home even if it was uninvited. 

It was the kind of thing that you could see in other people if you had it as well. People showed it in different ways, some people will sleep for an unhealthy amount of hours, others will just trap them selves in day dreams, and some cause them selves pain mentally and physically... sometimes it’s all of it. That’s what depression is, the feeling of want, being tired all the time, self abuse, and sadness. 

It’s the thing no one will address, the thing people ignore until you say ‘I want to die’. Then it’s the fact that it came out of no where. Even tho you’ve reached and reached for help. Like it’s a light at the end of a endless tunnel. It kinda sucks when media in every form whether it’s wizard or muggle makes it seem the only good part of your life is when your a teenager. 

God the world they live in sucks, he knows he could die if he speaks a single word about what he is to anyone. He couldn’t help himself from not thinking about it. 

What was he supposed to do with his life? He had no idea... maybe he should-but.. huh.. he was stuck. What was everything feeling so dark right now... why did he feel angry? 

Too angry.. “Severus. I need to tell you something” he blurted out. He just needed to get this over with, if Snape didn’t except it fuck him. 

“Yes?” Snape said after looking down at his book. “Do you know I’m a werewolf” he said in a hushed tone so only Snape's book would pick up on it. 

Snape read the words and his eyes slightly and he glanced at Remus then back at the page. He wasn’t speaking so his stomach started to twist in a knot. It didn’t help with all the other feelings going on with him.

“I suspected it, I never thought you would own up to it or anything like that. I planned to leave it alone...” Snape says and the knot in his stomach slowly went away with the sudden sense of relief, same with that odd amount of anger, it just disappeared. 

That was still scary though, he didn’t know who else could have figured it out. Had he been sloppy with hiding it? Did other people know about it? Did they want him dead because they knew? 

No this can’t be happening, he didn’t want this to be happening. Maybe he was just dreaming? No he couldn’t be... he could really feel thing... and it was different then what he could ever dream of. Even in his nightmares he didn’t think about this thing happening like it was now. He was scared, he while hardly admitted that.

He took a deep breath in, and held it for a good while. He finally breathed out and put his head in his hands. It was an awkward silence even though Snape couldn’t hear, he probably could sense it. 

Why did he just tell Snape... Avery pushed him into it? No... he gave him a warning... maybe? He was stressed and in pain from his still pretty bad wounds. He sighed, here comes the depression. Always shows up at some point, he should head back to his hospital room. 

“I won’t tell anyone, nor will I even think about exposing you Remus.” 

He looked up to see that Snape is looking directly at him with soft features on his normally angry face. His heart lightened from that. It helped, it helped a lot. 

Snape's eyes for once seemed soft and happy. He wanted to hug Sev-Snape, he wanted to kiss right now. This was a moment he never though in a million years he would have with him. 

“It’s-its ok to be different Remus, and this society is horrible for what they do to werewolves. It’s better to judge a person individually then to judge a whole group from some stereotype.” Severus said. 

“I’m-“ he’s cut off by Snape again who read his lips. “You're not a monster, you are a human being, you have emotion, and you know what’s wrong and right... you can tell the difference and that’s all that really matters in life.” 

“It’s difficult to believe I’m not...” 

“I know” Snape replies quietly 

“But how am I supposed to deal with it... I’ve tired so hard to keep it a secret for years.. I’ve stayed away from getting close with people because of it... my own friends don’t notice most of it...even though they-” he sighs and doesn’t finish his sentence. 

“I’m not good at comforting people Remus, but you need to understand that you aren’t a monster and you're not a villain. You're not the bad guy in this story. Please just take a step back and look.” Snape says 

“I’ve done horrible things... stood by... how am I not a villain, how am I even worth...anything” 

“You're thinking to much, take a deep breath” Severus says and Remus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Just keep breathing.”

He looked down and shut his eyes. He focused on the coldness of the air and he took a deep breath in and let it out. He listened to the sound of people around walking in the hallway near the small medical room. 

There were squeaking of wheels from carts rolling down the hallway across from him. He focused on the pressure he was putting into his feet to keep them on the ground. It made his feet heat up and have a small stinging feeling from it. He lighted the pressure on his feet making the stinging feeling stop. 

He takes a deep breath, and breathe out normally. “Are you feeling better?” Snape asks. 

“I’m-I think so?” He answers confused on if he does or not. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

—————

Evan shot up from his bed in the middle of the night panicked. His breath was uneven and he was covered in a cold sweat. He looked around the room to see if anyone had entered the room while he was asleep. He didn’t see anything too threatening but his heart was still racing as if there was something to fear. 

He couldn’t remember what made him wake up with this much fear but he assumed it was a nightmare. He gripped the bed sheets tightly in his hands still looking around his room. The room had a cold atmosphere that made him feel very alone... without feeling alone. 

He couldn’t explain it other then he was alone but it felt like there where many things in the darkness that surrounded his bed. It was very difficult to tell what he was seeing due to the fact that his eye still wasn’t healed. 

At this point he doubted it would be healed-on the other side of the door there was a creak of the floor board. As if someone very heavy was stepping on it as light as they could but failed. 

His heart raced even faster and his breath picked up. He laid back down and faced away from the door covering most of his body with the blanket. He tried to calm down his breath so the person on the other side of the door didn’t know if he was awake.

He felt sick with fear. His head was racing and it made him shut his eyes tightly. For someone who liked the darkness and found it comforting he wasn’t right now. He wanted run. But he knew he couldn’t, the way Mr. Gibbon had made it sound it was as if he would be stuck until his trial. 

Or maybe after the trial... he hoped not. He didn’t like it here. He didn’t like Mr. Gibbon or anything going on. 

He heard the door to his room creak open, his heart sank. He heard two sets of foot steps walk into the room. 

“Good job getting him here Lucius” he heard the first man say, he sounded-it was Mr. Gibbon. 

He new the second person was Lucius, “Well of course my Lord” his heart sank again. He started shaking slightly but tried his best to not let them know he was awake. 

“He’ll be of use to us, we’re just going to need the others under our control to take control.” Vol-Voldemort says.

“Very well my Lord, I’ll start working on the werewolf before Dumbledore gets to him. And the cripple my lord?” Lucius says. 

Aspen... 

Nothing is said after that so he assumes a gesture was made. Then there are foot steps towards the exit. Why did they come in here to talk... that he had to figure out but Aspen... and werewolf? Who-someone he needed to find and let them know they where in trouble... 

He let out a shaky breath.. he opened his eyes as it started to fill with tears from all the terror. He needed to get out of here... 

——————

When Evan woke up the next morning he felt petrified and didn’t want to leave the bed room he was in. He didn’t want to interact with the Dark Lord... he could read his mind.. 

So he would know anything he planned at any moment if he made eye contact with him. Alright he'll just have to stare at the ground and avoid his eyes best he can and when he has to make eye contact with him he’ll... hm. 

Maybe he can wear something reflective like muggles wear with their sunglasses? That could work but he’d have to ask about it... he didn’t quite want to do that... he also didn’t want to wear and eye patch. 

He could transfigure some for now. Then maybe later if he ever got the chance he should buy some. It’s the best thing he could think of.. maybe it wasn’t enough but-but he needed to be just strong enough to get the hell out of here. 

He felt sick though, and his body was tired and sore. None of it helped, and the fact that he felt very unsafe he knew if he gave it up that he knew then he would be fucked honestly. 

What if the Dark Lord was testing him? He honestly didn’t know and didn’t care, he wanted out of here. He wanted to see Aspen and his friends... he wanted to be home and not here. He didn’t care what kind of people his parents were and what they wanted for him. He honestly thought it would be better then being here. 

He gripped the bed sheet and wrapped it more around himself so he was warmer. All of this thinking was giving him chills. He had goosebumps and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. He thought the torture from the guards was bad.. no this was worse. A lot worse then what he had gone through. 

Why couldn’t he get a break... he never wanted any of this... 

He shut his eye tightly feeling a burning feeling from his eyes hurting. 

His head hurt... everything was hurting and he just wanted to shut himself away for ever... he couldn’t do this... he wanted out of all of this and he wasn’t strong enough to pull himself out. He was a coward.. 

He only had a few days until his trial and was already stressed about that. He didn’t want to be here... why was all this happening? He’s just a child.. he-he-he couldn’t. 

He hugged himself and silently cried making sure to not make a sound.

He should just lay here all day maybe just a house elf will pop by. He doesn’t want to face Vol- he took a deep breath-the dark lord. He was terrified... he didn’t know what to do or what he was gonna do... he had the smallest of plans for things but he knew deep down he would never be able to get out of this. 

He knew that he was gonna die. He knew by the constant shaking and the pounding of his heart. He also knew by how cold he felt and the ache of his body from the constant stress. He didn’t want to be here but it was karma for his rash actions. He will forever have blood on his hands for what he did.

He acted like some psycho... this whole situation wasn’t good. He knew that. He just didn’t know what he could do or who believed in him any more. 

He was going to have to rely on himself then. 

——————

Lunar awkwardly stood in the headmaster's office along with Longbottom. The Defense against the Dark Arts teacher had brought them in. Yeah they would have to lie to save McGonagals back. After all she probably had helped Longbottom plenty of times with this kind of thing. 

“Well gentlemen what brings you in here?” Dumbledore asked. 

“I found them at the hospital, they must have snuck out with floor powder.” The D.A.D.A teacher said. God he hated him, he could be such a dick to him in class if he didn’t do something small right. 

“Question is why where you there.” Longbottom mutters and he snickers slightly at the remark. That pissed off the D.A.D.A teacher. 

He was kind of happy that they ran into the D.A.D.A teacher instead of someone like a death eater. That sounded way worse then anything else that could possibly happen. He was terrified of that happening to though. He had this sinking feeling that some point soon he would. 

He would have to be on guard with that and most likely keep up his skills more in defense. Guess he’s gonna have to learn some new spells and tactics. Maybe he should talk to Longbottom about helping him with it. 

Yeah they didn’t get along but it will be useful for them to both have some new tricks if they where even remotely going to help with this whole plan. How was he supposed to learn a lot of new spells with out many people teaching him.. wait he could just order a new spell book for defense by owl. That way he wouldn’t be learning anything in the school from the library books and instead could learn something that’s not that common. 

He felt off about the way Dumbledore way acting. He kept his head down and his eyes casted to the ground so that dumbledore couldn’t rummage through his head while he wasn’t on guard. He made sure to act timid so he just looked like he was being shy. 

He needed to protect himself. He needed to be prepared for what was happening and what was going to happen. 

He gripped his fist tightly inside of his robe pockets. He wasn’t exactly feeling safe at the moment.. he sighed and let the two adults discuss their punishment and all that. He didn’t care what it would be but he knew it wouldn’t be fun. 

——————

After the meeting was over he decided to approach Longbottom “I need to talk to you” he says calmly trying to come off as if there was nothing wrong. He couldn’t let Dumbledore know what he or any of the others were thinking. 

He could just pick it up honestly, meaning the fact that Dumbledore wasn’t that good of a person. The little things that everyone said they noticed and all of it lining up over the years. He noticed some things himself honestly. 

Like the fact that when he was in his younger years of school Dumbledore had become more close with his family. Little by little over the next two years they degraded him and just over all started to be toxic. They were all being manipulated.. still are. He should have figured it was Dumbledore, but he didn’t...just never thought about it and he made himself believe it was his fault. 

Longbottom gave him a look mixed with confusion and annoyance. “What?" he said in a quite unwelcoming tone. 

“We need to talk about some stuff so come with me.” he says. Longbottom grumbles a bit before finally giving in and nodding. They walk to an empty classroom two floors down that no one uses. 

“What is it?” Longbottom says with an uninterested tone. 

“Did you notice what Dumbledore was doing?” He asks 

“What do you mean?” 

“He was acting all nice but not that normal nice thing he does.” he says

“What-“ 

“I’m trying to say they were right, and we need to be careful dumbass". 

Longbottom have him a angered look, he's face saying keep going. He was happy he finally got it and shut up. They really didn’t get along. 

“Dumbledore has gotta know we'rere all now up to something...and I think that it would be useful if we ordered some spell books and learned new dueling spells and others as well.” He says taking in a deep breath then letting it out.

“You have a point... alright, I guess we’ll be the ones on the inside focusing on things then? Meaning that’s what your suggesting?” Longbottom asks and he nods. 

“I think it would be good if we also set up a way to communicate without talking to one another directly.” 

“We could owl each other?” 

“Too much work and too little time to have a full conversation with out anyone catching on.”

“We could leave notes around the school in places we could only find?” 

“It’s like the owling each other, it would take to long to have a conversation properly with each other, and someone could just find the notes one day and report us or something.” He says trying to think of something since Longbottom couldn’t.

Or well Longbottom’s ideas sucked and would most definitely get them caught. 

“I read about this thing where using certain magic and a good spell we could make a writing book. A writing book where we could talk to each other, but it would be best if we used different books if we made it?” He says glancing up at Longbottom to see his expression. 

“I actually really like that idea, it’s smart. Do you know where you read it so we could find how to make one?” He asks with a lot of a lighter tone and a softer expression. Like he doubted beforehand that he could actually do anything. 

Nice...what a lovely person. He wasn’t going to bring it up or anything he was just gonna ignore it and he the bigger and nicer person on the matter. 

“I think I remember it was in the library, but we should also put a illusion spell on it so it disappears after or something.” He said realizing some faults that could go with it if they did that. They should also have it so it displays some type of writing on it to make it look like notes for a class. 

“We need to be very careful with this to though. We could completely give everything away.. I mean I don’t know why we're helping Evan after that incident but.. I understand with Dumbledore and you know who” he says rubbing the back of his neck.

He knew Evan was a good person they just didn’t have any proof to save him from the fate of Azkaban or death by a dementor. He hoped that he might have a way out but as much as they all hoped for it they couldn’t fully do it them sleeves. They would just have to hope one of the pureblood familyies stepped in and saved him. 

“I think it’s the fact that he’s their friend... if one of my friends where in danger like that I could understand helping them or getting the truth to what happened...” Longbottom says and he looks at him again as he was talking. 

“I suppose... but sometimes people aren’t what you expect them to be too.. we don’t have proof or know..” He said with a lot of doubt and regret seeping through his voice. It almost sounds like he was on the verge of tears. 

“Sometimes from knowing someone for a long amount of time... you can.. you can tell someone is a good person... it’s the aura they give off like when someone is a very happy person or is angry.” Longbottom says. 

“You're right Evan has always either given off a threatening aura from his facial features and how he’s quite or a soft personality like Aspen.” he says thinking of some of the times Evan had smiled in his presence or when Aspen was very happy and cheerful. 

Longbottom has a good point on that. He just hoped that they would look past the threatening face of a young kid and look at his heart and soul. Hopefully they could see the goodness that’s actually there in him and treat him well. 

What had it been... a month sense the incident itself? He remembered walking past that hallways a few days after it happened heading to the Slytherin dorms. There was blood splattered everywhere... it wasn’t a pretty sight. 

The only person who was in the accident that wasn’t sent to the hospital was Zane Travers who got launched down the hallway and had some wounds take had been taken care of by Madam Pomfrey. Maybe he should talk to him about it.. he might open up about it. 

“Well then... we should get going to our dorms...” he says and Longbottom nods heading out the door first. 

He takes in a deep breath and grips his fist tightly together before letting it out and walking out the door. Here he goes to actually do something good with his life... or just get himself kill. Who knows. 

———————-


	22. Chapter 22

Aspen sat up in his bed, he had been noticed by his nurse that a Auror would be coming to talk to him and the others today. To gather information about the trial that is. He was nervous and didn’t really want to talk about the trial. He was already worried enough about Evan and his safety, he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Everything in the past month that has built up to this was insane. Everything they had discussed they could do might just boost Evan. He took a deep breath and finished brushing his hair. Most of his wounds had cleared up but one left a pretty ugly scar on the back of his spine. 

He took a deep breath putting that thought of it in the back of his head and went to take a seat on his bed. Harper had left to go eat so he could talk to the auror. 

He looked down in his lap and fidgeted with his hands waiting and took a deep breath with his nerves attacking him with a bunch of different thoughts. It was not fun. Anxiety was a horrible giveaway to what they had planned. 

So he took another deep breath and looked up trying to convey he was just fine. He needed conceal it for Evan and everyone else too. 

After a few minutes of waiting a man wearing brown and black robes came into the room. Aspen looked up seeing that is was carrying a brief case with him. 

He took another deep breath and let it out, bringing his breathing back to normal and formed a calm face on display for the man. He wasn’t going to give up anything they had worked for. 

“Afternoon Mr. Avery,” the man greeted and he nodded as a greeting back. The man walked over to him then waved him wand to bring a chair over to him. Using levitation magic of course.

“I’m William Ansan,” the man said, he gave him another over look. He had light brown skin and a simple looking face. Nothing screamed something that would make him stick out in society. 

“Nice to meet you,” he greeted suppressing any nerves and anything that might show in his voice. He slouched slightly making the bed creak ever so slightly. 

“Same here, well I’m sure they let you know why I’m visiting you Mr. Avery?” Mr. Anson asks him. 

“Yes, the nurse let me know ahead of time.” He said taking a small breath of air even though he had the urge to sigh. 

“Good to know. Well I’m going to ask you some questions about Evan Rosier and you’ll help me fill in the story.” Mr. Anson says taking a clip board out of his brief case. 

“Can you please describe what you remember what happened that day before the accident?” Mr. Anson asked. 

He thought back to it before answering. He remembered the night before Evan wasn’t feeling well after dinner. He had gone to bed early and slept a good few hours before waking up in the middle of the night. He had woken him and Harper up mumbling something well not mumbling but more like a soft yell? 

He just couldn’t remember what he was mumbling about.

“The night before Evan didn’t feel well, he mentioned that his head and body were aching, instead of going to Madame Pomfrey he went to go lay down in our dorm room.” He says before continuing. 

“He also woke up in the middle of the night talking out loud about something and woke me and Harper up.” He said. 

“And your other roommates? There are supposed to be five in every room.” Mr. Anson said. 

“Oh Severus was in the hospital due to an accident he was in after the end of school last year. Literally walking out of the train station with his dad he was in a accident with a muggle mobile.” He responded. 

“And the other?” 

“We don’t have a fifth room mate, we got lucky with just having four I suppose...or the last person who was supposed to be our roommate never showed up.” 

“Alright, now for the morning after breakfast?” 

“We all ate together but split up for classes, I wasn’t relatively feeling well that day because of the weather so Harper stayed mainly by my side.” He says feeling off not wanting to really talk about his disability. 

“Not feeling well because of the weather?” Mr. Anson asked intrigued. He sighed and felt some unease seeping through his calm stature. 

“I-I have a disease that makes me feel pain from the weather... like if it’s to cold I’m in a lot of pain.. same with if it’s to hot... before it rains I feel pain... it’s complicated...” he says feeling uncomfortable. 

“I see, I’m sorry you have to go through that.” Mr Anson says 

There it goes again.. someone feeling sorry for him. Always apologizing like it’s their fault and pitying him like he’s broken. Yeah it’s a kind action but it doesn’t give him much confidence. He rather prefer if someone would just understand it once and then would help him if he needed it. 

He also didn’t always want them apologizing to him. Then later on looking at him like a broken thing because he can’t do something. 

He sighed again and just looked at the ground. “Doesn’t matter.” he muttered hoping Mr. Anson would honestly just get on with the questions. 

“Alright then, when the accident happened what was going on?” 

He took a deep breath remembering the events of what happened before looking up at him. “Beverly Bannet who is a Hufflepuff at our school was being picked on by three girls. And then I think Lily Evans, and her friends showed up. It turned into a bigger mess when Potter and his band of buffoons showed up and everything kind of kept going.” He says and Mr. Anson looks up at him. Taking notes of course so he continues on with his explanation. 

“Potter's friends started to defended her and Harper and I where on our way to class and ran across the scene full of a bunch of full on bickering. Potter was going off on Evans and the three girls were going off on Bannet.” He says letting Mr. Anson catch up on notes. 

“I stepped in and stopped Bannet from getting hurt because no one was focusing on that. Soon enough the girl that targeting Bannet was on my case and we were fighting. She was calling me slurs so Harper I think jumped in and stopped it.” He explained really trying to remember. 

“And?”

“One of the other Slytherin Zane Travers saw what was going on and got Evan. And then she got homophobic on him for some reason? It was honestly very odd why but he drew his wand. Black and potter tried to stop him, he launched them into the wall. Then he casted a dark spell and she blew up...” he says awkwardly now fully remembering it all... oh dear. That wasn’t pleasant to experience... 

Whelp it’ll be a new scar to add to the collection of weird ones. 

“I see.” Mr. Anson says taking notes of what was said. He took a deep breath and realized he might have been to calm and made it seem like he was a psychopath. Oh dear... well that was a stupid plan.. very stupid. 

“Well, let’s talk about how Evan Rosier was as a person next?” Mr. Anson asked him politely. He took a deep breath in. 

“He’s always been very kind... he has a scary face but he never went off his hinges unless someone was going off on someone like me... most students stayed far away from him because of his scary face. There were also all the rumors started by some Gryffindor students in a higher grade then us. That was only when we were in our second year.” He explained more calmly letter more of raw emotion sink through. 

He didn’t really think that he was doing it, it was genuine sadness about the situation. He figured with his hands trying to focus on them. 

“That’s quite a surprise for this type of situation...” Mr. Anson said.

“I don’t really know why he did it...I just know he didn’t want others getting hurt and there was this look on his face I had never seen. His eyes almost seemed to be a different color with all the hatred seeking through..” he said recalling the mere moments before the accident. 

“What kind of hatred?” Mr. Anson asked. 

“Forced.. like someone was telling a story and all of a sudden they needed a bad guy to cover something up.” He said thinks about Dumbledore and the things the man must have been doing to him.

“Forced..? Well it could be a chance that it was.” Mr. Anson said taking more notes. 

“I-I hope so but I don’t at the same time just from what I saw it scares me” he muttered. Mr. Anson nodded writing it down. 

“Now could you tell me more about him?” Mr. Anson asked. He nodded, he should. It was the only chance he truly had to help him. 

“When I was in my fourth year we got very close to each other, it was in the beginning and I had found out over the summer that I -I was sick. So I had been too depressed to even go to class not even considering the amount of pain I had been in.” He says starting it like it was a cute story. 

Mr. Anson nodded and he continued. “Evan noticed how I was acting and he started to get me out of my bad habits. He’d force me to shower, get dressed and just use normal self care. Then he started to get me out for meals and so on so forth..” he took a deep breath in clasping his hands together on his legs.

“He just over all tried to help me get back what I had lost even if it was the smallest amount.” Aspen says gripping his fist together. 

“So he really was a good person.” Mr. Anson said before he continued on with his story.

“We ended up drifting from our small friend group just to us and Severus, also Harper as well.” He said.

“We just all have stuck together sense... we tried to keep Severus from being bullied. We just kind of kept our selves away from people other than meals.” He bit the inside of his lip.

“You were very close?” Mr. Anson asked. He nodded as a reply. 

“Was it romantically or just a plain old friendship?” Mr. Anson asked and he felt his insides panic.

“Um-n-no we weren’t.” he says. 

“I see.” he takes notes down onto the paper. Mr. Anson scratched away with his quill the words that came out of his mouth. 

“What else did he help you with?” Mr. Anson asked. 

“A lot, but it was mostly just was getting me to class on my bad days or just for protection from the staff or the students.” 

“The staff?”

“My potions professor thinks it’s fun to-to humiliate me and make me hit my limit and basically hurt myself badly.” He muttered thinking about all the times he had been forced to carry water into the classroom or clean cauldrons after class.

“I see, you have taken this up with an adult right?”

“Yes... it was dealt with.” He said not really truly thinking it would be when he went back. In fact he would probably be a bigger target and more alone.

He took a deep shuddering breath. “Was that all the information you needed from me?” He asked honestly hoping it was all he needed. 

“For now and today yes, I have some others to speak with.” He says standing up and putting his clip board away. 

“Have a nice day Mr. Avery.” the man said and he nodded before the man left the room. 

He instantly felt the unshed tears that had yet to fall came rushing down his face quite quickly. He truly started to think about what was happening. About what could actually be going on..

He wiped his eyes and face with the sleeve of his hand and took a deep breath trying kept his breathing steady so he couldn't have a panic attack. He started to feel the gut wrenching feeling of loss once again. He bent over on his legs trying to keep himself from screaming.

“Damn it Evan...” Avery muttered as tears came out of his eyes. He gripped his fists tightly and silently cried. Tear after tear after tear. They didn’t stop, they were built up from over the past two weeks. 

He tried his hardest to keep his breath steady and quiet. He’d lost the most important thing he had... because of Dumbledore. He would pay for taking something he had no right to take. 

Damn him... he will pay for that.. 

————-

James put the things his parents had brought him in a small bag. He was being discharged since most of his wounds and fully healed. Meaning he was going back to Hogwarts. Not fun seeing as Severus was going to be here and not with him. 

But it was good he was going back, he could keep an eye on Dumbledore until the trial and see if he was trying to pull anything drastic again. Or get proof it was him who created this whole mess. It was the best he could do on his own. 

He would need to be more careful with his choices on how he acted at school. No more pranks, no more sneaking around, and behaving in class instead of being a jerk to people who very much didn’t deserve it. 

He could also finally get back on a broom for quidditch after it had so long.. being in the air and feeling free was the best feeling in the world when you felt stressed. He really needed to get out of his head and change his attitude if he ever even wanted a chance at someone he had mentally and physically scarred. 

He also would have to use what he had on hand to be sneaky. He should go see Severus before he leaves. It’ll be another while before he would get to if he didn’t now. He put the last thing into his small bag, it was a candy rose that is supposed to grow bigger the more you hold onto it. 

James zipped up the bag and adjusted his shirt before walking out the door. He walked down the halls of the hospital, leisurely as to not really rush his walk. He didn’t feel like rushing to see Severus even though he every much wanted to. 

Once he reached the room he opened the door. He paused in the doorway when his eyes landed on Snape who was currently pulling up a pair of pants. His mouth opened in shock and he froze there for a second. 

He noticed all the scars on Snape's back, like little scratch marks or burn marks from a tough hitting spell. He was also skeletal looking, he hadn’t noticed this due to the fact Snape was wearing very baggy clothing. His skin was just as pale as his face meaning he hadn’t seen much sun in a while. 

His hips were very narrow and somewhat plump. He bit his lip shutting the door quickly even though Severus was very much not going to hear his movements.

He felt his face heat up at what he had just walked in on Snape changing. Not that he hated that he did or anything. He honestly enjoyed looking at him but he wasn’t going to cross that boundary-he already had crossed that boundary....

Maybe he should just come back later... yeah he’ll just come back later. He walked down the hall back to his room to finish packing. His face was still quite flushed through out. 

——————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small update more for the authors note. I’m going to start including more about being deaf. I’m Actaully trying to learn British sign language so I can describe some of it in the story and I’ve noticed I haven’t been including more poc so I’m going to from now on sorry about that.
> 
> I’m also going to be going back and editing parts of the older chapters, I’m going to rewrite small sections to do with the speech impediment, it’ll make it easier to read and it’ll be more accurate. 
> 
> Also what’s one scene you guys would like to see in the next few chapters? The one I most like I’ll add into the story if I can figure out how to :3


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